Time Heals All Wounds
by Kris21xX
Summary: Time is the healer of all necessary evils. Yet a secret relationship between supposed rivals seems to only rub salt in the still bleeding wound and no amount of time will help ease the pain it causes. Her friends or her lover... which to choose. Edge/OC
1. Chapter 1

I leaned against the wall in the locker room with tears streaming down my face. This was not how things were supposed to turn out. It was _supposed_ to just be fun for 'a little while', but he made it into so much more. Up until a few days ago, things were going well…

_Sunday, October 26, 2008.  
Cameron, North Carolina.  
My House – 8:30 A.M._

_The feeling of his mouth on mine woke me from my slumber. I rolled over and looked into his green eyes with a grin. He grinned back and leaned in to capture my lips again. I groaned, still in a haze of sleepiness, causing him to pull back chuckling. Satisfied that my sleep would no longer be disturbed, I rolled over on my stomach and closed my eyes. Yet it seemed that he was not sated. He ran his fingers down the length of my spine, not stopping until they returned to the back of my neck. I shivered which seemed to encourage him to continue as he leaned down and started kissing my neck, eventually lightly biting down on my sensitive skin. I hunched my shoulder up to my neck, swatting my hand up to push him away. He started laughing and I knew that any attempts at sleep would be futile._

"_Come on, pretty girl. I have to get up."_

_I rolled over and tried to get up, but fell back down. I was not ready to get up and nothing Adam could say or do would change that… or so it seemed. He started laughing again, but I made no movement. _

"_I know you're tired, but we have to get ready for our flight." _

_I groaned again before finally rolling out of bed. Still groggy beyond measure, I started walking to the bathroom. I barely processed Adam's salacious whistle before I was picked up and thrown over his shoulder in fireman's carry. I started struggling in his grasp and was rewarded with a playful smack to my ass. That sure brought some life to my bones. I laughed at his behavior as we entered the bathroom. He turned on the water in the shower before setting my feet down on the cold tile floor. He turned to adjust the water temperature, but I thwarted his attempt, reaching up to run my hands through his golden hair. He grinned down at me, an action that affected me more than I would be willing to admit, as I pulled him down and pressed my lips to his. He put his hands on either side of my waist, before continuing his pleasant torture from before – his fingers running feather light journeys up and down my back. _

"_When do we have to leave?" I asked once I was able to pull myself away._

"_We have to be at the airport at 1:30," he answered, before attempting to lean down to capture my lips once more. _

_I grinned at his unsuccessful endeavor and got in the shower. It wasn't long before he got in behind me. What was surprising was he made no movement, no sound for a few moments. I was about to take matters into my own hands when I felt his soapy fingers run through my hair and massage my scalp. I moaned and leaned back against him. The feeling was heavenly. I could feel the slight rumbling of his laughter through his chest as he wrapped his arms around my stomach, holding me in place. _

_It was times like this that I truly treasured… the quiet moments when it could just be Adam and I. There were no complications in our private, little world… just us. We stood there for almost five minutes before the hot water turned warm, alerting us to hurry up and finish washing. Some things could not last forever._

_After our rushed cleansing, I quickly left the warm confines of the shower to the cool air of the room, wrapping a towel around myself for heat more than modesty. The action caused my companion to sigh, as we looked at my now terry-cloth clad form._

"_You should always walk around naked," he murmured, wrapping a towel around his waist._

"_You're an idiot," I playfully mocked, swatting him lightly on the chest before heading for the door. _

"_Fine… I'll concede to underwear, but that is where I draw the line," he remarked._

_I laughed, sparing him one last glancing before opening the door and walking out of the bathroom. The cheerful mood that Adam had put me in was quickly extinguished as I stopped dead in my tracks, just outside the doorway. I scanned over the faces that stood before me –Matt, Jeff, Shannon, Shane, and Jamie. They all stood in the doorway of my bedroom. All were grinning at the state they found me in. Oh, if they only knew…_

"_Sorry, didn't know you had 'company'," Matt remarked, as I tried to keep my expression as normal as possible. It was quite hard to do considering a certain someone was just a few feet away. "We'll just see you lat –" _

_Matt trailed off and I knew that my luck had run out even before I felt Adam come up behind me. Even though I could not see his expression, I could feel his shock, but knew that there was also some relief that we didn't have to hide anymore. I closed my eyes for the briefest of moments, trying to figure out what to say… what to do. I swallowed hard and looked at Matt's face before turning to view the rest. It was too hard to look the eldest Hardy in the eyes at the moment. His brother's expression seemed to show a little sympathy to my situation, yet it was probably because he knew what had yet to come from his brother. He knew I would need some semblance of support, no matter how small. Shannon and Shane both seemed angered, but nothing like Matt. I looked at Jamie, but her expression was one that I couldn't place. _

_I sighed and knew that the time had come. I needed to face him. I turned my attention back to Matt and was quite startled. His expression had changed, but for the worse. The look on his face almost made me start crying. Before I could get any words past my lips, he clenched his jaw in frustration._

"_You lying, two- faced, bitch," he growled, his drawl emphasizing each syllable with an acidic tenor._

_I tried to formulate some sort of reply, even silently hoping that Adam might jump to my defense, when Matt turned on his heels, pushing his way past the rest of the group, and walking out of my bedroom. I stood there for a few seconds debating the next course of action. Go after Matt or stay here and tackle the others first. Silence pervaded the room for what seemed like minutes when it was only seconds. I finally decided to go after him. Sparing no glance to my friends and lover, I exited the room and ran down the stairs. I caught up to him in the living room._

"_Matt!"_

_He stopped at the sound of my voice but didn't turn around. I decided to think over my words thoroughly, knowing that I had to handle this situation with care. I could hear the others coming down the stairs and prayed that Adam had stayed in my room. As much as I cared for him, he would not make this situation any better._

"_Matt, I'm…" _

_The words that I had planned on saying faded away as he turned around, looking at me with what seemed like extreme hatred._

"_Don't! Just… don't talk to me right now," he raged in a tone that I had never in my life heard come from his mouth. It was then that truly realized the severity of my situation. "Anything you have to say is not going to make this right."_

"_I know how this looks, but…" My words seemed to only heighten his anger, if that was even possible. I pressed my lips tightly together and decided to just ride it out._

"_You're a backstabbing bitch," he said, his voice wavering slightly at the amount of feeling behind his statement. He turned away from me, deciding to concentrate on my carpet instead. "I can't even look at you right now. You fucking disgust me."_

_I knew that he had reason to be mad with me. I had hidden my relationship from him because I wanted to avoid this very situation. It seemed that I only made it worse. I tried to keep a good hold on my towel, suddenly conscious of my lack of dress as I took a few steps toward him._

"_You don't mean that," I reasoned, trying to get him to find my eyes once more. "You're upset and pissed off and… and I totally understand. I understand that this was a shock, but I was going to tell you. I was going to tell you all, but there just wasn't a right time."_

_I looked behind and gave a small, sad smile to my other friends. Their expressions did not soften any. I silently regained some sense of strength and confidence before turning back to Matt._

"_I'm not going to say I'm sorry because honestly… I'm not," I said in the most confident tone I could muster. That got a reaction from him. His eyes quickly left the floor and found my irises, a silent battle of the wills that I was sure I would lose. "I can't say I'm sorry about being with him. I'm only sorry that I lied to you all."_

_Matt just continued looking at me for a long moment, as if he was trying to search for some semblance of truth. I hoped that my heartfelt words would move him slightly, but for some reason it only made him angrier. _

"_You know what type of a guy he is and you… you know what he is capable of doing," he remarked, his voice wavering under the anger that he was trying to hold in. He was doing a pretty poor job of it. "And yet you're still with him."_

_This time, I felt tears stinging the corners of my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. This wasn't about what I did… this was still all about Adam. If it was anyone else in the world I was having a secret liaison with, it wouldn't have mattered to Matt. He wouldn't have batted an eye. But since it was Adam who was warming my bed and heart, it was the beginning of World War III._

"_You're still punishing him for something that happened, what – three years ago?" I said, my tone reflecting the frustration that was building inside of me. "You forgave Amy over time, and yet you still punish him."_

"_That's diff…"_

"_And he isn't even like that anymore!" I declared, interrupted his attempt at gaining control once more. He had his say, now it was my turn. "It was a onetime thing. You need to let it go and forgive him. Everyone else has." _

_He shook his head and looked back to the floor for a few seconds. Mostly everyone had gotten over Adam's infidelity. The storyline made it public knowledge, but it truly was a private affair. It was the publicity that made it live on… that and the fact Matt was too hard-headed to forgive his former friend. If he could never forgive, he needed to at least be able to move on. _

"_How long?"_

_His query brought me from my thoughts. I watched as he focused his heated brown eyes on mine once more. The words that he uttered seemed to leave my brain._

"_What?" I asked apprehensively. _

"_How long has this been going on?" he asked. I had been dreading this question, but knew that it would be asked._

"_Um… almost 6 months," I said quietly, so only he could hear._

_Matt scoffed and turned around. Without another word, he walked out of my front door. I let out a breath had not even realized I had been holding. I would have to deal with him later it seemed. I turned around and saw that the others were staring at me. I tried to force a small smile to my lips, but found that it was impossible. I didn't even have a chance as they all began moving toward the door. The guys refused to look at me, but Jamie walked over, giving my hand a squeeze before catching up with the departing men._

_I stared after them for a few minutes, long after they had left my home. I still was in shock over all that happened. Today had started just like an ordinary day. I was at peace, but now… Now I wasn't sure about anything. I turned around and walked back upstairs._

_When I entered the bedroom, I saw Adam had dressed. He was lying down on my bed, waiting for me. As soon as I entered, I felt his gaze fall upon my form. I looked at him before I went to my dresser. I didn't know what to say. Everything seemed too messed up for me to try and fix it now, especially considering I was still only wearing a towel. I grabbed some clothes from the drawer, dropping my towel to the floor in the process. The entire time I was changing, I felt Adam watching me. I just continued to ignore him. I knew that he didn't deserve it, but I was too lost in my own thoughts… my own fucked up situation. _

_I picked up my towel and started to dry my hair, not caring that it was doing a horrible job at the task. I didn't need to impress anyone today – just a boring and sure to be dreadful plane ride. Still sparing no glance to my silent love, I walked into the bathroom and finished getting ready. I was quite surprised that I got through my whole morning routine without Adam interrupting. It was unlike him to be so quiet – so non-confrontational. _

_I walked back into the bedroom to see that he had not moved. He was just staring up at the slightly chipped ceiling deep in thought. I quietly padded my way over to the bed and climbed onto his chest. My legs straddled his body and I let myself just lay against him. In no time at all, he put his arms around me, just holding me to him. I could hear the serene and comforting sound of his heartbeat in my ear. I knew that I could not avoid him forever. _

_I took a deep breath and looked up to see him staring at me. His expression was unreadable, his face a mask of no emotion that I had never seen before. I gave him a small smile, hoping to break some of the awkward tension that had fallen over the room, and leaned up to find his lips with my own. There was no sweeping passion, no dueling fervent emotions. It was as if our lips just clung to each other, unsure of what its owners were feeling. We lingered for a few minutes in this state before he pulled back, lying his head back down on the pillow._

"_I'm sorry," I whispered, laying my head on his chest once more. _

_I didn't know what else I could say. He needed to give me some sort of sign on how to continue. I was too lost in my own emotions to truly be able to gauge his. He ran his fingers through my hair, a soothing gesture that was helping my body relax. After a few moments, he lightly reached for my chin, pulling my head up to meet his eyes._

"_For what?"he asked soberly, even though I knew he knew damn well 'for what.' I wanted to be irritated at him for his obvious ploy to get me to admit that he was right all along… but I had no right to be mad at him. He did nothing wrong… he was practically perfect, actually._

"_If I had told them about us a long time ago, none of this would have happened," I answered. _

_He didn't answer me, just stared back with the same sober expression on his attractive features. It didn't matter because I knew what he was thinking. He had been after me to tell them for months. I thought he was insane for even considering it. The Core Group – as they were informally called – were great friends, but still held a huge grudge against my beau… especially Matt. I believed that what I did was right – selfish but right. Now, I wasn't so sure, especially since Adam wouldn't even look at me at the moment._

"_I'm not going to say I told you so, beautiful," he rasped, returning his gaze to my own. I gave him another small smile, an action that seemed to encourage him to continue. "I know that you know that you should have told them, especially 'cause of the way things are now. But you know that I understand why you didn't." _

_It wasn't the most poetic of declarations, but it was heartfelt in its simplicity. I didn't need fancy words and frivolous sentiment as long as I had him. It was scary that I was beginning to feel this way toward him… it didn't start out as being anything this serious. Yet I saw the way things were changing. We had become more serious about each other, and I knew that a decision would have to be made soon. Was I truly ready to admit that I was falling in love with Adam Copeland?_

"_You're amazing," I replied, the smile still firmly planted on my lips. _

_He chuckled, a smile finally making its way to his handsome face, and made to sit up. I was not ready to let him go however, and held him down to the mattress, my legs still firmly straddling his hips._

"_Baby, as much as I would love to lie around with you all day, we have to get to the airport," he protested but I quickly silenced him with a kiss. _

_This was quiet unlike the apathetic encounter of our lips a few minutes ago. I put all of the passion that I could muster into it and he quickly gave in, running his tongue across my lips to seek entrance beyond. His arms detangled from my waist, one hand coming to rest on back of my head, pressing me harder into his lips, and the other on my right breast. I groaned into his mouth, forgetting all about the bittersweet emotions of the morning. I could feel him shaking slightly with laughter, obviously amused by how quickly I was becoming aroused by his rather tame actions. With him, it didn't take much to get me going. _

_He moved both of his hands to my ass and pushed me hard against him and I gasped at the feeling. It didn't take long before I was grinding myself against him, a familiar sensation beginning to build from the inside. He started kissing my neck, biting down on the spot where my neck met my shoulder. He knew that it was one of my more sensitive areas – one that if stimulated would be sure to get a reaction. I moaned and ground my hips more urgently against his. Just as things began to grow more impassioned, he pulled back, looked at the reddened skin on my neck with a smile. It didn't take a genius to know that he left his mark, claiming me once more as his own._

"_Okay, now, we need to finish packing," he said evenly, trying his best to wriggle out from under me. I looked down at him in disbelief. My body was aflame and he was just going to stop? There was no way in hell that I deserved that. He smirked as he saw my look of amazement and effortlessly lifted me off of him._

"_You know you shouldn't start something that you don't intend on finishing," I said, pouting my swollen lips slightly. _

_I watched as he threw some of his crumbled clothes in his suitcase, a grin on his face. I continued with my pathetic expression, hoping that I could coax him into a little more action. It seemed to work as Adam came back over, lifting my face up to him with a few fingers. Before I could suck my lip back in, he bit down on it, tugging the swollen flesh lightly in his teeth which just sent more jolts of electricity down my spine._

"_Payback's a bitch, beautiful," he murmured, letting go of my lip. He kissed me lightly before going back to his bag. I tried to process his statement, but he enlightened me. "You know… you did the same thing to me before I had to go out to the ring last week. Still not over that yet."_

_I glowered at him, but he just playfully returned the expression. I chuckled, shaking my head before finally conceding victory to him. I walked over to my bag to finish packing, but not before slapping him on the ass once in annoyance._

_All of that playful emotion was lost as soon as we left my house. On the way to the airport, I was quiet, thinking for the first time of everything that Matt had said to me. He had been mad at me before, but never anything like this. He'd never spoken to me like that before... never with that enraged tone that did not suit him well. What would I say to him the next time we met? What would he say to me? I didn't think it would be anything I would want to hear. _

_In the middle of incessant thinking, Adam reached over and grasped my hand in his, bringing it up to his mouth. He pressed a kiss to each knuckle causing me to smile slightly. Adam… how could anyone stay mad at him? Forget the past – he had changed. I wished that everyone could see that. I leaned my head back against the headrest, watching as Adam let go of my hand. I frowned, but he quickly moved his now free appendage to my thigh, rubbing his hand in soothing circles on my jean clothed leg. _

"_Don't be upset," he said, doing his best to sound loving over the loud strains of Kiss from the radio. I looked at him confused as to what he was speaking of. "They'll get over it." _

_Oh… so he could read my mind now. I just nodded, content to go back in my own head. But as I looked at him, all of the emotion that was in his eyes, I couldn't just leave it with distant silence. I leaned over the console, letting my side press against his own. He wrapped his right arm which was never on the wheel around me. I always complained about his driving, but this time I was thankful for it. I smiled as his warmth spread through my body. He rubbed his hand up and down my arm and I started drifting off to sleep. My mind was too exhausted to stay awake any longer._

_I woke to Adam shaking me slightly. I blearily opened my eyes and saw we had arrived. I just grumbled a thank you, getting out and grabbing my things. The hassle of airport security and boarding procedures awaited us… and boy were they even more annoying than usual. Maybe it was just because of the mood I was in, but I was quiet happy when we walking hand and hand to our seats. _

_As soon as we entered the cabin, I locked eyes with Matt. It was quite a surprise, one that had my breath hitch in the back of my throat. I went to wave, but he hastily turned away from me. I frowned, seeing that the few hours apart had not lessened the anger he felt. My eyes found his brother next. I was pleasantly surprised when he politely nodded at me. I smiled, knowing that Jeff would find me to talk later. Maybe we could sort some things out amongst ourselves before dealing with his stubborn brother. _

_I felt a tug on my hand, and realized that we had reached our seats. I didn't even notice. I pulled my eyes away from the younger Hardy and maneuvered into my seat. As Adam was waiting, I knew that he saw where my attention had lied preciously. I could see his jaw tense in aggravation. Even though he was ready to move on, there was still a lot of bad blood between the two former friends. I knew that things would never be like they once were, but also that Adam wanted to find peace with his past. However, he needed Matt to meet him halfway if that was ever to occur. _

"_This is going to be a long flight," I whispered to myself, as Adam finally sat down. _

_He retook my hand in his, turning to me with a smile. He wanted this to work… I could see that. But did I?_

The memories had seemingly been burnt behind my retinas. I could not close my eyes without being overtaken with the image of either Matt or Adam. Adam and his cool demeanor – gravely accepting the fact I was quite content with him as my secret lover. And Matt with his brazen words and enraged conduct – condemning me for something that I had no control over. My heart was in control, not my head. Even though everything might have told me it was wrong, it felt so right.

The door to the bathroom opened and I straightened up, wiping my face to try and hide the evidence of my sorrow. I glanced over at the entranceway and saw Melina. She was the closest thing I had to a sister in the locker room and thus I dropped my hands from my face. I knew that I needed to talk to someone and who better than one of my best friends? As soon as I pulled my hands away, I saw her look at me with concern etched all over face.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

Hearing the compassionate tone, a few more tears slipped from the corners of my eyes. I wiped them away. I looked her, trying to get the words out. Nothing came. Maybe I wasn't ready to open up like I thought.

"Nothing… I'm fine," I murmured with a shake of my head.

She gave me a skeptical look. I quickly avoided her eyes, turning back toward the mirror. I picked up my eye liner pencil and tried to apply the black kohl to my lid. After a few attempts, I realized that it was useless however. My body was still shaking slightly under the emotional strain. I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder, and looked at Melina's reflection in the mirror.

"Want to try that line about being fine again?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to all who reviewed the first chapter. Thanks baybie,harley-hardy01, it took so long to get a chapter thanks to Rated-R-For- Randomness for being my beta.**

Chapter 2

The warm eyes of my favorite Diva comrade did not seem to quell any of my sorrow. It was quite obvious that I was far from being even slightly okay. I couldn't keep all of my feelings bottled up, but I was unsure if I should confide in Melina. I didn't think I even knew what I was feeling. How would I be able to explain it to another?

She kept her hand on my shoulder, willing me to open up… showing me that she was not leaving until she was convinced that I truly was okay. I wasn't _that_ good of an actress…

"So, you have two choices…"

I saw Melina's lips move in her reflection, but hardly deciphered the words. She sighed and turned me around to face her, reaching up and wiping a few stray tears that had yet to fall.

"A – you can be adult about this and tell me what is bothering you," she said impatiently but still holding a gentle tenor. "Or B – you can continue avoiding your obvious emotional trauma and wait until it eats you alive."

I pushed out of her light grasp and turned back around to stare at my reflection. No amount of drops would take the redness from my eyes, but luckily the facial reddened blotches could be concealed. I reached for my powder, but all I accomplished doing was spilling the contents, smearing the marble with a peachy hue.

"Fuck – can't I do anything right anymore?" I ranted to myself, giving a frustrated slam of my palm to the messy countertop. I groaned in discomfort as my wrist began to throb… I didn't know my own strength in would seem. I lifted my now sore hand into my eyesight, glowering at the red mark that was beginning to spread.

"Okay, playtime is over," Melina stated, reaching out to grasp my slightly throbbing hand in hers. "Time to tell me what is wrong with you?"

I looked into her eyes and saw that she was not joking. We had a history of having heart to heart talks, especially when Amy left the company. Amy and I were quite close. We came up through the ranks of the company at the same time. While I floundered for quite a few years, trying to find my place on the ever changing roster of talent, she rose to the occasion almost immediately. Team Extreme made her beloved by almost every wrestling fan. But I couldn't complain… it also helped introduce me to my best friends.

Her friends became my friends and I quickly found a spot among their personal circle. It made the lack of satisfaction I was having in my personal life bearable. I may not have found my place in the spotlight yet, but at least I was happy. Happiness was not something that I had much of in my life before WWE. No true maternal figure, a father who couldn't stand me, and no real sense of friendship led to an unhappy and rocky adolescence to say the least. But I found my place among true friends… found relationships that I hoped would last the rest of my life.

"Is it Adam or… Jeff?"

Tears welled up in my eyes again just because of her question. I was being juvenile, but this is what happened when I let my feelings stay bottled up inside for too long. There was nothing that will console me until I worked it though them. That was a little hard to do considering my friends would not speak to me and Adam was being quite distant.

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I looked into Melina's eyes and immediately saw her own irises soften. I guess she could see the truly fucked up emotional state I was in. She put her arms around me, pulling me into a tender embrace. I put my head on her shoulder and took a deep breath, thinking back to the day that changed everything I had come to know…

_Monday April 21, 2008  
After RAW Taping – 11:15 pm_

_The taping had come and gone in a blink of an eye. Maybe that was because the Divas had very little in-ring action tonight because of the King of the Ring tournament. All of us were present on the taping however, ushering in a new Women's Champion in Mickie James… finally being given the chance to beat the Glamazon and recapture the gold after months of unsuccessful attempts. The celebration turned into a face on heel brawl, but at least everyone was featured. _

_There were many a night when we spent much of our time just talking and passing time. The women's division was not the same as it had been back in the Attitude era. Being one of the only remaining Divas from that time, it hit me hard at times. I knew that we could be just as good as the women from the past. Yet it seemed that as soon as Trish and Amy were gone, the focus had turned away from wrestling and more towards modeling. Oh how I wished that things could change…_

_We were all together in our locker room, showering and getting ready to head back to the hotel for the night. I was in no rush to leave the arena, especially since there was a certain someone still present in its halls. I thought that the brand spilt was supposed to keep certain people away from the live broadcasts… but with the pay-per-view only six days away, all hands were on deck – including the Smackdown main eventers. _

_Melina and I were waiting for our turns in the stalls. I could see that she was anxious to leave, but my demeanor through her off guard. Normally, we rushed out into the open night, happy to be away from the backstage politics and drama. Now, I was quite cozy in the cinderblock confines of the locker room. As time went by, Melina and I finally got into the showers. I went about my cleansing routine with little hurry, happy to be one of the only few Divas left in the building. Maybe that meant many of the Superstars had left as well? Melina was my ride for the night, so as long as she was present and accounted for, I saw no reason to rush._

"_Someone got some action this weekend."_

_I shook the suds out of my ears and peered over the tile wall to look at her. She motioned to my neck, and I subconsciously brought my hands up in concealment. It was too late, obviously, but I didn't know if I wanted to explain the nature of the tenderly bruised skin. She looked at me expectantly, knowing that unlike many in the locker room, I was one who did kiss and tell. It wasn't like I had many past sexual relationships that interjected with my occupation. Some, but not many…_

"_What is it that has you acting so coy?" Melina asked with a grin, flicking some of her peachy scented suds into my eyes. "Who did you see?"_

_I took a deep breath, washing the rest of the soap from my hair and eyes. I reached up and turned off the tap, reaching behind me to retrieve my towel. I walked out into the cool air of the room, looking over my shoulder as my friend followed. Should I tell her? This isn't like my past relationship… well, not like I really could call a connection based solely on sex a relationship… but what I had started now seemed to be something more… and it was scaring me, especially because of the repercussions I knew it would undoubtedly cause. _

"_Anything I tell you stays between us," I muttered, clutching the towel closer to my chest, as I peered around the room to make sure we were truly alone. I turned back to her and saw her nodding emphatically. I walked over to a bench and sat down, beckoning for her to do the same. _

"_Well… you know how I went to that concert last week?" I asked, hesitantly. She just nodded and sighed. Did I really want to do this? Melina and I were becoming closer friends almost every day, but it wasn't the same as the relationship I shared with Amy. Now, that thought wasn't all that comforting anymore._

"_Something happen?" Melina asked, trying to goad me into continuing. I decided to err on the side of caution and start out without revealing much. _

"_It was in Tampa and… well, it wasn't like I wanted to go alone, so I invited someone," I murmured._

"_Interesting," she mused in a droll tone, seeing no reason for me to be so flustered by the situation. Oh if she only knew…_

"_Well, the past few weeks before said concert we had been talking about our relationship… about maybe trying to patch up our friendship," I continued. The new details seemed to perk her interest. She was about to speak, but I quickly continued. "I soon found out that friendship wasn't the only thing on his mind. But… I've never thought about him like that before, you know?"_

_I knew that the question was truly rhetorical and couldn't be answered. She did not even know who I was speaking of, even though my subtle hints most likely gave her a clue. I was still trying to piece together my thought process and trying to explain it to another was baffling. What was I thinking? Ever since Jeff had been suspended in March, I felt lost. He was truly my best friend… more than friends actually. It was like we were the same person at times. That being said, romance was never in the cards for us… we had too much fucked up history that didn't involve sex to get involved together. Plus, I had too much respect for Beth to screw up ten years of commitment for something that could never work. Now that he was off dealing with his own personal and professional problems, I was left trying to keep afloat. And that meant turning to the one person I swore I would never rely on again._

"_So… I invited him to this concert and we went… having a great time, but then… he kissed me," I relayed, my speech broken up as I remembered the moment when his lips touched mine. To say I was surprised was an understatement. The loud music droned out everything around me except his lips… his taste. I shook my head to get the memory to leave my mind, continuing on with my tale. "The rest of the night was spent in awkward companionship… both of us trying to gauge what really happened. But when we went back to his house, that haze seemed to clear… for him, anyway."_

"_Hun, you're not making much sense," Melina interjected, but I was too far in my train of thought to stop. I paid her no heed, continued staring at a shirt that was hanging in my locker. It was his shirt… images came flashing across my eyes – the two of us, the emotions that I felt... what had I done?_

"_He kissed me again and one thing led to another and… we just ended up spending the weekend together," I mused with a smile. Since the brands had just been overseas for a tour, the talent was given a much needed weekend off to retool, especially since Backlash was upcoming. "And you know what? It was absolutely… amazing. I don't know… it was just different than what I am used to. I wasn't expecting it to be, but… it was."_

"_Who are you talking about?" she asked, as I continued to stare at his shirt. _

"_Adam," I whispered, not truly trusting my voice to say it aloud._

"_Copeland?" she screeched, almost jumping from her spot. My eyes found hers. I shrugged and nodded. "I guess this is going to certainly be a mess, huh? Shit is going to have to hit the fan eventually… unless this was a onetime thing?"_

_She was well aware of all the turmoil that this would cause. The reason I avoided Adam like the plague for years was because of what he did to Matt. I had to take the elder Hardy's side, it just seemed right considering the three of us were closer than the others . I didn't know the full story but of course I took Matt's side I was swayed by my emotional attachment to his brother. Jeff could talk me into anything and vice versa. It was a curse at times… more so on his part than mine. But in that one instance, I was the one who suffered for my loyalty. _

_Adam and Amy were two close friends that I lost because of bitter feelings and untold truths. I still wasn't sure exactly what happened… no one was. The only ones that knew the full extent of the affair were Amy and Adam and neither was too open about the details. Sure, there was the storyline that was concocted, based on the facts that nearly ruined Matt's career. But none of that could be taken to heart. Sure, there was infidelity, lies, deceit… but how deep did it run?_

_Adam and I hardly spoke for years. I was on Rawn for the whole ordeal and when Matt went to the blue brand I followed suit . When I moved to Smackdown, Adam was quickly swapped to the other brand because of injuries in the main event tier of talent. Money in the Bank was cashed and he was the champion. When he came back from his pectoral injury, he was still on Smackdown, but seemingly different. It was as if his time away changed him, made him more like the Adam I remembered. Maybe that was the sentiment that overtook me when he made the offer to bury the hatchet two months back… Maybe it would be that sentiment that would cause more trouble than it's worth._

"_It wasn't supposed to be like this," I whispered, more to myself than the woman sitting in front of me. "It was just supposed to be a fun weekend. Two old friends hanging out… maybe patching up some tension, but nothing more. Or so I thought…"_

"_You didn't answer my question," she said after I had drifted off into my own thoughts. _

_I searched her eyes, but she did not continue. I knew what she wanted to know: if I was serious about my 'relationship' with Adam. Hell, I wasn't even sure. That was why I had avoided him all day… ever since we arrived, I shied away from all public places. I wrote in my journal, called Jeff, wrote some more, texted Jeff… pretty much anything but concentrate on what my heart was telling me._

_That there was something there…_


	3. Chapter 3

I took a deep breath and pulled away from Melina, wiping my face. My makeup products were still strewn across the bathroom countertop, but there was no way I could apply them now. I was still a wreck, thanks to all my bottled up emotions, and the other Diva knew it. She pushed the makeup to the side and jumped up to take a seat on the counter next to my still shaking yet standing form. The concerned look had yet to leave her face. I took a deep breath and gave her my full attention.

"They all found out!" I ranted hastily, nervously reaching up to push back some hair from my eyes. "They are all so mad at me now."

I could see the gears working in Melina's head. She was still unsure of all the details. She knew of my relationship with Adam... knew how I was really falling for the Rated R Superstar. She also was quite aware of the situation that could arise if found out by my best friends. She constantly pestered me to tell them, just like Adam had. I was too stubborn to listen.

"What happened, hun?" Mel asked, reaching over to encouragingly put her hand on my shoulder. She squeezed the muscle lightly, and it made me calm down slightly. She really had been a great friend these past few months, which was surprising. I didn't make girlfriends that easily; Amy was my only true one... well, until now. "Talk to me."

"You know how Adam came to visit me Sunday night?" I asked in more of a rhetorical manor. She still responded with a nod, giving me the green light to continue. I took a deep breath and tried to quickly condense our time together in a few sentences. It was easier than I thought for my mind was fully centered on what happened with a certain group of North Carolinians. "Well, we had a great time. We watched a few movies, had some take out... you know, just a wonderful, relaxing time - something I wish we got more of. But um... when we woke up the next day, we were getting out of the shower..."

"Okay, hold up!" Mel said stopping me, as if she noticed that the smile was slowly fading from my lips. "Any details you want to share about said shower?"

"You're evil, you know that?" I joked sarcastically, actually happy for a small reprieve from my heavy thoughts. "You know I don't gossip..."

"About the good shit, anyway," she murmured with a small smile. I pushed her arm off my shoulder and shoved her playfully into the mirror.

"I'm trying to be serious here, Mel," I said with a small smile before steeling myself for the next bit of my recollection. "Anyway, after our shower we walked into the bedroom and all of them were standing there. Matt...Jeff...everyone else."

I trailed off and remembered the looks on all of their faces. Why was I stupid enough to believe that I could hide something as big as a relationship from everyone? I must admit, that at times, it made the relationship more adventurous... and sexy. Sneaking around, no one (well, almost _no one_) knowing about our love affair... it was bliss, at least for a little while.

"I knew I shouldn't have invited him over, but he wanted us to move forward so I figured it couldn't hurt," I continued with a shrug. I was being careless, because for the past few weeks, I was getting sick of the sneaking around. I didn't need the thrill of the unknown in my relationship anymore. I was happy just to have Adam. "Honestly, I didn't even think that they were around. They all told me they were going to be busy and wouldn't be able to hang all weekend."

"Why didn't you guys just go to Adam's, like you have been?" Mel asking, furrowing her brow in confusion. She knew that I avoided my Cameron home like the plague when I had a certain blond Canadian in tow. Yet I hadn't told her of my recent change of heart when it came to all the sneaking around.

"I went home to have some time to myself - to give myself time to think about everything," I replied. It was true: my original plans for the weekend included ice cream, my iPod, and my own thoughts. "But Adam called and convinced me to let him come. He told me that we don't really get to spend a lot of time by ourselves because of his _injury_."

Even though Adam wasn't really injured, he needed a break from the hustle and bustle of a daily WWE schedule. He made the decision to take a few months off and Vince granted it. The Vickie storyline had been winding down to begin with and he had an easy out. All he had to do was lose to Taker in a Hell in a Cell match, which saw Adam sent to Hell... literally. Well, as literal as the WWE ever is: a hole in the ring and flames rising from it. Adam got quite a little sunburn from having to hide next to the burning pyro for a few minutes until they could roll a cart down to the ring to get him.

While Adam was off getting his mind back into the game, I continued on with a full schedule of events. Our relationship was so much easier when we travelled to the arenas together. Even if we weren't on the same brand, they travelled close enough that we could spend a lot of time together. Now, we didn't get a chance to see each other much, except on my rare weekend off or if I could swing a small midweek excursion to Florida.

"Anyway, they saw Adam coming up behind me. We didn't even get a chance to say anything before Matt flipped out," I recalled with a shake of my head. "He called me a traitor... and a bitch."

I swallowed hard. I hated that word. It all stemmed from the emotional trauma of my childhood. After my mother's death, my father took all of his anger out on me. I still had scars, even though most were invisible to the naked eye, that had yet to heal. My father was an abusive man whom made me grow up fast and with a small window of trust. It took awhile to get it. Only one person had managed to break my sense of trust and gain it back... something I never thought I would allow to happen. But there were many things about Adam Copeland that surprised me.

"Now, none of them are talking to me," I said with a sigh. "And Adam is mad at me, too. Seems like I can't win with anyone today."

"Why is Adam mad?" Mel asked, confusion etched on all of her features.

"He figures that because Matt and the rest know, that we should tell everyone else too," I explained. After seeing the reactions from my closest friends, I wasn't too eager to tell everyone else on the rosters. "I told him I didn't want everyone else to know yet. I want things settled between all of us first."

"That's understandable," Mel responded. "It's like going from Romeo and Juliet to... well, _not_."

"Can you please stop with that analogy?" I asked exasperatedly.

Melina had dubbed me and Adam the Romeo and Juliet off the WWE when she found out about how serious our relationship had become. I hated the comparison then, and still hated it now. Just because she was comfortable with her relationship with John, didn't mean that everyone had that luxury. I was never one for labels anyway and that one irked me more than she would ever know.

"I guess it doesn't apply much anymore," she replied with a shrug.

"Anyway, Adam got mad and told me he was sick of hiding," I explained, trying to get back to the topic at hand. "He said he's too old for things like this and that I'm ashamed of him. But I'm not... truly I'm not."

"I know that," Mel said earnestly, rubbing my shoulder comfortingly once more. "Does Amy know about the two of you yet?"

I stiffened at the mention of Amy's name. Ever since she left the company in 2006, we had hardly had any contact. I still wasn't over the whole Amy/Adam affair yet, and spent most of my time around her still heartbroken ex. We had talked over a few things a year ago, but nothing really progressed from it. Now that she was no longer a wrestler, it seemed that our connection to each other had died. I still had great memories of our friendship, but that is where they stayed. They weren't enough to prompt me to try and rekindle anything with the redhead.

"No, I don't really think I need to tell her anything," I muttered, slightly uncomfortable with where our conversation was headed. In essence, my female confidante in this company had gone from Amy to Melina. I wasn't keen on trying to work through all of my feelings on where those relationships overlapped... too much in the past. "It's none of her business."

Melina could tell from my demeanor that I did not want to speak of the former Diva any longer. She nodded and hopped off of the counter, coming to stand directly in front of me. My gaze had fallen away from hers when the line of questioning had taken an uncomfortable tone. She grasped my chin in her fingers to hold my gaze once more.

"Hun, maybe you should talk to Matt and Jeff," she offered with a smile, dropping her hand back to her side. She was pretty good friends with the Hardy brothers herself... nothing like the relationship the three of us shared. But at least, she had some experience into their psyches and wasn't just try to humor me. "Try to clear the air. Then, you can deal with the whole Adam issue later."

I sighed heavily and turned my back to her, looking at my reflection in the mirror. I really needed to get moving on my makeup if I was ever going to get back into my routine. All my emotional issues had already cost me hours that could have been used to do something more constructive, like actually working though my issues with the people that I had hurt the most. I reached for my eyeliner and carefully started to apply the black kohl, while continuing my conversation with the still staring Melina. "I don't really wanna deal with them right now... but I guess I should tell them where I stand right now, and how I'm feeling."

I continued my grooming until my smoky shadowed eyes were adequately made up. The rest of my makeup could wait until later. I at least looked slightly presentable, as the black makeup blocked out the redness that still was present around my eyes.

"Will you come with me?" I asked pleadingly through the reflection on the mirror. She laughed at my half assed attempt at being pitiful and nodded.

"Of course."

I packed up my things and we left the bathroom. We took our time silently strolling the hallway toward the locker room where I knew they were staying. I clutched my makeup bag to my chest as we arrived at the door. Mel pushed me slightly on my back after I had paused for a few moments. It seemed like it was now or never. I didn't know how long this resolve would last. I didn't want to go back to the pathetic mess that Mel found in the bathroom.

So, I took a deep breath, and instead of knocking, I just opened the door and walked in. Matt and Jeff were there with the still injured Shane and visiting Shannon and Jamie. Tonight was the night of the Cyber Sunday pay per view from Phoenix, Arizona. Matt was scheduled for an ECW title match against a yet to be chosen opponent. Jeff was going against Triple H for the WWE Championship. And I... was participating in a Halloween costume contest. No comparison, right? No wonder I was letting all my personal bullshit bother me when I didn't even have actual competition to prepare for.

The room was empty save for them, but there were many other bags strewn across the floor. Even though Adam had yet to return to action, he was back to traveling to select shows. I slightly smiled at the sight of his burnt orange luggage in the corner of the room, but was very glad Adam wasn't there at the moment. This was hard enough for me to do like this. Melina cowered behind my back, trying not to draw attention to herself. She was just here for emotional support anyway.

After a few tense silent moments, Matt was the first one to notice my presence. He rolled his eyes and went back to playing with his phone, disregarding me like he would a total stranger. It hurt and I was right about to bail on this whole endeavor, but felt Mel put her hand on my lower back stilling me before I could even move. It seemed like she knew my intentions. Jeff and the others looked up while I was undergoing my mental struggle to flee. Jeff shot me the smallest of smiles and the others just waited to see what I would say. I didn't blame them, and at least they were giving me my chance to say my piece.

I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to speak, but instead of my female warble, the sound that came out was that of a heated Southern drawl.

"Save it. None of us wanna hear anything you have to say," Matt vented, still refusing to look up from the glowing device in his hand. "You're a liar and a traitor. Do us all a favor: leave us alone and go back to fucking that asshole."

Tears blurred my eyes... and I knew that all the work that I had spent on my eyes was for naught. I could feel the purple tears begin to slowly make their way down my cheek. I couldn't understand how he could be so mad over this. What Adam had done was two years ago... everything about the way he was acting was something I would expect from a teenager, not a grown man.

"Your such a fucking prick Matt!" I said, finally letting my temper get the best of me. I never liked to be verbally abusive toward anyone, even if they irked me greatly. It reminded too much of my father and I didn't want to end up remotely like him. But his uncaring attitude had grated on my last already bruised nerve. "Not once have I ever turned my back on you... even after some of the stupid shit you've done. Did I once question _you_ when the affair came out? No! I didn't."

He rolled his eyes and still refused to meet my emotional gaze. I saw Jeff open his mouth to interject, but I didn't want him to get in the middle of this. His asshole of a brother and I weren't finished and if he wanted to push my buttons, he was going to get the full brunt of my bottled up fury. Months of having to hide from them, years of friendship with Adam lost, came out as I continued to lay into Matt for being the hypocrite that he was.

"I took your side without a shadow of a doubt. When Amy came to my door, I turned her  
away because I was loyal to you," I ranted, only stiffening slightly at Amy's name. "It didn't matter that she had been the only girlfriend I had had in a very long time. I took your side. When you dealt with hypocrites and doubters and all of those people who were nothing but rude to you, who was still by your side? I was!"

He was not startled at all by exclamation. I had had it with him. I walked over and grabbed the phone from his hand and chucked it against the wall. The black plastic shattered on contact and its destruction seemed to finally get Matt's attention. His brown eyes were ablaze with anger, but I did not let him get a word in. It was my time to get him to understand that world did not only revolve around Matt Hardy.

"Who started the We Want Matt' phenomenon that got you your job back? I did. I have always been there for you," I explained, even though nothing seemed to make his anger lessen. But at least he was looking into my red, blurry eyes and purple stained cheeks now - a small victory for sure. "You wanna know  
why I never told you about Adam? Because I knew…I fucking knew this was how you would react."

He wordlessly scoffed and turned his back to me. I spared a glance at the still seated onlookers. They were content to be a silent audience for this scene and I was fine with it. Even though I knew that I hurt them all with the lack of trust, I was certain that they could be won over eventually. Yet it didn't seem like the elder Hardy was ready to crack.

"Another reason, I honestly didn't know the relationship would get this far," I admitted honestly and not as heated as before. I brushed my hand across my face to try and still the damage I had done to my makeup. I knew that I already looked a mess and no amount of smeared eyeliner would matter. "I didn't know me and him would get to this point. But you know what? We're here: we're at this point."

He still had his back to me and was refusing to turn around. I was going to try and spin him back into my eye line, but thought better. I knew that the Hardy temper could be something fierce and didn't want anything to happen that couldn't be repaired with a few heartfelt words.

"I'm with _Adam_ and I'm going to be with _Adam_," I said, emphasizing each time I said my lover's name. I saw his body react and had to inwardly smile. For all the hurt we lumped on me, it was slight vindication that I could do the same. "Until how long? I couldn't tell you. But until you can get your own shit together and deal with what happened to you over two years ago... and deal with the two of us being together... stay the hell away from me!"

I couldn't believe the amount of venom that came out of me. It seemed like two years of built up frustration finally erupted. I gaped wordlessly and waited for him to reply. Nothing... just stone cold silence. I looked over at our _audience_, yet they had no words for me either. I shook my head at them, turned and started to walk out the door. Yet I stopped short when another thought hit me. Even though it seemed as if Jeff was ready to step in, he had yet to say anything. He didn't try and talk either of us down. He just sat and watched and even now, was happy to play the bystander.

"That goes for the rest of you as well," I vented, mustering the courage to spare each of them a look before turning and walking out the door.

I could hear Mel's footsteps and she wordlessly tried to catch up with my hasty pace. I just wanted to put this whole afternoon behind me and try to think ahead. It was going to be hard, but I spent my whole life blocking out painful memories... a few more wouldn't kill me. The two of us had made it to the end of the hallway when I heard a familiar Southern drawl call out to me.

"Does Amy know about the two of you?"

"It's none of her fucking business," I yelled, whipping around to face the brunette whose head was peeking out of the door. "So, no I haven't told her."

"Maybe I should call her and make her aware of this situation," Matt replied with a nasty smirk on his lips. Before I could retort, he retreated back into the locker room, slamming the door in a final asshole gesture. I continued to stare at the spot he had vacated, willing the door to open... but it wasn't to be. I bashed my hand against the cinderblock wall and took off toward one of the outward doors of the arena. I pushed the door open and stepped out into the warm Phoenix air. I noticed the cigarette butts on the ground and was happy that I must've missed the Legend Killer. I wasn't in the mood to hear any of his crap and knew that I looked like shit. He was the only one who had the balls to smoke on the premises, as Vince had a hatred of habit. Even Jeff, only smoked once the rosters were back the hotels for the night. Randy, on the other hand, had no problem trying to piss off everyone in sight. That was just how he was, even though I even had to admit that he was maturing little by little ever since the birth of his daughter. And after tonight's events, I would definitely say that Matt Hardy was topping him on the immature scale.

Leaning against the wall, I took a deep breath tried to piece together all that had happened in my mind. Today started in Cameron and was going to end all the way across the country in Phoenix. That was exactly how my life felt: being at two different places at one time. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore. Wasn't love supposed to make everything alright? Is that really what I felt for Adam... or was I just making it up to feel something I never thought I was capable of feeling?

My thoughts were broken when I heard the metal door open and felt Melina lean against the wall next to me. We were both quiet and lost in our own thoughts. I was happy to just have her wordless support. After Matt's threat about Amy, I was grateful that I at least had a new female friend that would be there for me... or at least, I hoped she would. After things with the Core today, I wasn't sure what to believe in anymore. I thought that we would have stayed in the comfortable silence forever... until her stomach growled. It broke the silence and some of my tension and bitterness faded away as we both started to laugh. It felt good to have a positive expression of emotion after all of the bitterness.

"Let's get you fed," I said with a smile.

"Okay, but first thing first," she said with a grin, bringing her fingers up to my cheeks. She wiped at them and pressed her fingers at the creases of my eyes. "No more purple. Not a good look for you."

"Thanks," I muttered with a chuckle.

I took her arm in mine and we made our way to catering arm in arm. One of the perks of this job was the amazing job that the crew did to keep all of the talent happy. After working in the ring or flying on crappy flights to get to the venue, the crew did their best to make the time at the arena the best part of the work week. The catering department was at the top of the list. They never had a shortage of food and many wrestlers would forgo eating a big meal before events just to see what would be prepared. Tonight was no exception as since it was a pay per view, they definitely went all out.

Melina piled up a plate, but I just grabbed a bottle of water and apple. I would eat later, as I really didn't need energy for tonight's show. How hard was it to walk out and stand in the ring in a stupid Halloween costume? I couldn't believe I would get a paycheck for that. We looked around the open room and found and empty table in the corner. Melina was still on the injured reserve after her ankle injury in the early Summer. She would be coming back soon and was traveling mostly to be with John. Thus, she didn't want to spend much time with the other girls. Some of us got along, others... not so much. And when I spotted a certain bleached blonde at the table with most of the Divas, I knew I would be happy in the corner.

Michelle's revealing and ridiculous inaccurate soldier costume. I still couldn't believe that creative had yet to turn her heel, because that was definitely what he personality was more suited for. I tried to keep my contempt for her to a minimum, especially because of Mark. I wanted him to be happy... really, I did, but I couldn't believe that it had to be with her. We had something special ourselves a few years ago. I don't know if I would call it love... no, I definitely wouldn't... but it was something. I really wasn't one to have actual long lasting relationships. My trust issues always impede my path, but with Mark, I was able to see myself actually being with someone. But I soon learned that most of what I had with him was purely physical. It was hard being on the road all the time without someone to help _ease the tension,_ so to speak. And he was quite good at it... but now, he had Michelle to do that with. And as I watched her fake laugh along with something that cop-costumed Natalya said, I had an urge to chuck my uneaten apple at her.

I needed a distraction from my thoughts of bottled blondes and North Carolinians. Looking around I saw that Adam wasn't anywhere in sight. I groaned under my breath and turned my attention to my apple. I prayed that he didn't go to back to the locker room. I didn't want him or Matt to get suspended, no matter how much I hated the bastard at the moment. Another fake high pitched laugh broke my thoughts and my nails bit into the red skin of the fruit.

"Hey babe, mind some company?"

Both Melina and I turned our attention to the sunglass-clad John Hennigan. Melina smiled and looked at me, unsure if she should ask her beau to stay. I shrugged indifferently and looked back to the slightly oozing skin of the apple. I heard her welcome him and the seat next to the brunette slide out from under the table. They had had their fair share of problems as a couple, but seemed to finally be making a real go of it. Good for them... I guess.

Just as I was about to give up hope, I glanced up at the door and saw my beautiful blond Canadian walk in with his slightly less beautiful blond and what a surprise also Canadian friend. He chuckled at something the World Heavyweight Champion said smiled. I loved his smile. Those perfect pearly whites could make my heart flutter any day. Okay... when did I turn into a love sick teenager? And why did the thought of him not being near me send my emotions into a tailspin? After everything that happened, something became clear to me: I wanted to be with Adam. And... I really didn't care who knew.

"I'll be right back," I murmured to Mel, even though she was much more engrossed in conversation with the Shaman of Sexy to even notice me leave.

Dropping my uneaten apple on my table, I walked over to where Adam was grabbing for his favorite catering treat of Cookie Crisp bars. I knew of something even more pleasing to satisfy his sweet tooth. I grinned as he turned around and spotted me, opening his mouth to speak. Our last conversation had been anything but pleasant, but I didn't want to hear anything he had to say... not until I showed him where I stood. Before he could get a word out, I stood on my toes and pressed his lips to mine. And I knew that it was so much better than any marshmallow constructed bar could have ever been.

With his lips already parted, the kiss was full of ardent passion from beginning to end. His tongue quickly slipped into my warm and welcoming mouth, and I was all too eager to be submissive to his advances. I could hear a snide remark come from the elder Canadian next to us, but was too distracted in everything that was Adam Copeland to process it. Whether my friends would except it, this was what I wanted. And I was happy that I was finally beginning to accept it.

"I'm sorry," I murmured as our lips were still pressed together.

His eyes glittered and I felt a grin form on his lips, but it quickly dissolved into another soul-crushing kiss.


	4. Chapter 4

**I want to thank Rated-R-For-Randomness for betaing this story. She has done an amazing job so thank you for that.**

**Also I just wanted to add in please Review. Its takes a lot to write these stories and then I can see the traffic on my stories and Ive had over a hundred people read this story and only a few review so please review. Even a little comment or a PM or something. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea and my OC**

The silence was deafening and threatening to consume us whole... well, if _we_ didn't do that ourselves. Adam had not relinquished his hold of my lips with his own, and it seemed that the rest of people present in the catering area noticed. I broke away from Adam and sunk back to my flat feet, dropping my arms from around his neck. Being only 5'6" and not in heels at the moment, our height difference was quite noticeable and could sometimes hinder our passion. Not at this moment, however...

"Are they all looking?" I murmured to him, not taking my gaze from his green orbs.

He broke our gaze to look around, as my back was still to the bulk of the crowd. I glanced to the side and saw the blond Champ trying to stifle a laugh at how we were acting. I surmised from his attitude that Adam had probably said something to him about the relationship long before now. I couldn't fault him, as I had done the same with Mel. And I knew that Adam had few confidantes on the roster since Jay left and his relationship with the Hardys imploded. I was actually very happy the Chris had decided to come back to the company after his few year absence. We didn't know each other all that well, but I figured that that would change soon now that the news was out about me and Adam.

"Yeah, beautiful," Adam muttered huskily as his eyes returned to mine. "All eyes are on you"

I wasn't one to have to be the center of attention. I usually shied away from that type of thing. But after months of hiding, I was happy that I could show the world how much I cared for this man. I also knew for a fact that the WWE rumor mill was at the top of the list when it came to be juvenile and getting things wrong. Sometimes it felt more like high school than work... but then you go to the ring and your body gets bruised and broken and the comparison falters. Still, there was so disputing this. Adam and I were together.

I put my arms back around his neck and pulled him down for another kiss. We met somewhere in the middle and thus the kiss was much more relaxed. Yet before I even tried to deepen it, Adam started to laugh. I furrowed my brown in confusion as I pulled away.

"What happened to the girl who told me not two hours ago that this was _'best kept secret'_?" Adam asked with another laugh, using finger quotation marks are the last three words. Okay, so I admit that I had used those words, but that was before my emotional roller coaster we Matt and the rest of the Core Group.

"Things changed," I whispered darkly, more to myself than the man in front of me.

He grasped my hand in his and reached up to bring the knuckle to his lips. All the while. I saw him reach for another dessert bar, even though he already had three in his free hand. That quickly broke my sour mood, even more than his tender gesture did. Adam could be a child at heart sometimes... something that I definitely loved about him.

"You don't need any more of those. Do you want to come back to the ring fat?" I asked, in a motherly tone as I used our entwined hands to pull him toward my table in the corner.

"Babe, they are made of cereal and marshmallows," he retorted, actually deciding to defend his need for so many calorie-riddled bars. "Nothing that is going to kill my wonderful Adonis-like physique."

"Says the man who is beginning to look more like Grizzly Adams than Adam Copeland," I muttered under my breath, yet still knowing he heard me.

We stopped a little short of the table and stared at each other. I rolled my eyes as he stroked the still growing beard on his chin that I despised so much. _'But it's for my character!' 'I'm supposed to be coming back from Hell not just some time away!'_ Even so, I didn't see the reason he needed to grow that rat's nest on his chin. I had tried forcing him to shave it off a week ago by promising no sex until it was gone. That idea went out the window the moment I laid eyes on him after a week of no real communication. Even with the damn beard, he was still so hard to resist.

"You always have to go to extreme lengths to prove a point don't you?"

I turned to Mel as her eyes danced with mirth. I could tell she enjoyed the spectacle I made of myself. At least it had shut Michelle up, so that was definitely a major plus.

"Well, I am the queen of extreme," I said in a faux haughty tone as I used the title that both Amy and I had bestowed upon ourselves years ago. But my smile fell as I tried to push those thoughts and memories away, at least for now. I wanted to focus on this moment and spending all the time I could with a certain blond. I wasn't sure if luck would always be on my side.

I sat down with my mood only slightly dampened and felt Adam take the chair next to mine. It was only a split second before my body subconsciously leaned against him, like a moth to a flame. Now that the secret was out, there was no reason to hide and surprisingly. I took solace in that. I never had a relationship that actually worked... nothing was ever _normal_. I always felt like there was something wrong with me in that I could not have a good relationship with anyone. Amy and Matt's romantic relationship was always an ideal (but in the end, I guess I was only fooling myself on that one). But maybe it was the fact that I could never work through my own neuroses in time to salvage something that could be great. I think that was what happened with Mark, and I definitely did not want that to happen here.

"Eh, Jericho, care to join us or are you just going to sulk for the rest of the night?" Adam asked loudly, breaking the eerie calm that had fallen over the room. Small conversations sprung up among the other tables, but I still saw many pairs of eyes were glued to me and my beau. It was beginning to bother me, but I shrugged it off for now.

"I am _not_ sulking," Chris defended as he plopped down his tray across from us and took a seat. "I just don't know how the hell I am expected to carry Batista in a twenty minute match when he's injured. Why doesn't he just get the surgery and stop making it worse for everyone that steps in the ring with him?"

In August, both he and John Cena were injured in their ill-fated Summerslam singles match. Dave was injured quite early in the match and botched a Batista Bomb, causing John to land awkwardly on the mat. Both men tried to work through their injuries, but John elected to have minor neck surgery and not risk it getting worse. Adam had tried talking him into the surgery as soon as he was hurt, but the West Newbury native was too stubborn. He thought that it would just go away, but only ended up becoming more inflamed.

Still, at least, he did decide that surgery was what was best unlike his Summerslam adversary. Dave continued to work through the pain even though the tear in his hamstring was causing his in-ring work to suffer. He never was the most technically sound wrestler to begin with, but he made up for that with his size. That wasn't playing into his opponent's favor, as they had to constantly be aware that Dave was running on one good leg. Chris always prided himself in being the best in the ring (trust me, that is _not _only his character). He also loved to point out that he had never been seriously injured in the ring and only took time off because he was burned out on the business. Thus, he wasn't looking forward to putting both elements of his in-ring work on the line against the big man. I honestly couldn't blame him.

"You know, Vince is probably trying to keep him around for a few more weeks," Adam responded, trying to be a voice of reason. "Cena and I aren't due back for a few more weeks and he's not ready to promote anyone else to the title picture."

As the two men continued to converse about the ins and outs of their current situations, Adam wrapped his arms around my form and pulled me even closer to him. I rested my head on his shoulder and felt fully content for the first time all day. I let my eyes fall shut and just relax into him. I soon felt his lips at the base of my neck and smiled. If things would always be like this, why was I so worried about our secret being revealed before? Adam's lips could sway me on anything it seemed, because deep in my subconscious, I knew things were far from okay.

I opened my eyes, but Adam had turned his attention back to the rest of the occupants of the table. It seemed that all four of them were discussing something about tonight's event. I was not interested and was just happy to rest next to Adam. But as my eyes were beginning to fall shut once more, I caught the eyes of a few people at the next table. John Cena and Randy Orton... I really wasn't in the mood to deal with either of them. Randy and I never really got along. We could handle a professional relationship if we ever had to work together, but that was about it. His immature attitude and sophomoric jokes rubbed me the wrong way... that and he was one of the biggest gossips in the locker room. John and I had no problems with each other, except for the fact that he was McMahon's Golden Boy and could do no wrong. But that was nothing new - everyone on the roster knew it. We all also knew that he did a lot for the company and deserved some level of respect; I just wished he would practice what he preached sometimes.

"What the fuck are you looking at?" I snapped, as they refused to turn their gaze from Adam and I.

Randy scoffed and said something to John that I couldn't decipher. I was about to speak up and retort when Adam started to laugh. I looked at him and he tightened his arms around me.

"Be nice," he whispered, kissing me lightly on the lips before continuing to talk with Hennigan and Jericho.

Since Adam was now a veteran in the locker room, he liked to try and keep the drama to a minimum. I considered myself a veteran as well, but never thought it my business to keep anyone in line. The Divas never really listened to advice to begin with, but when all we were given on a pay-per-view was to stand around in Halloween costumes and be judged, I couldn't say I argued with that logic. If that was the way women's wrestling was headed, I was unsure if I was going to like my future in this company very much.

My thoughts of the Divas division were broken when I saw a mass of brown hair and blue/purple hair enter the area. My lips curved subconsciously into a small grin, until my mind caught up with me and I stiffened. It was hard to be mad at them, especially after all we had been through. They were like brothers to me... the only family I could rely on. But now, I wasn't so sure.

My action had alerted Adam that something was off. I looked to him and saw his green irises had darkened slightly. I knew that he had seen them enter as well. I thought that they had begun to have more of a professional relationship with each other, but this morning proved how wrong I was. Adam had tried to extend a peace offering to them a few times, but Matt was still too locked into the past to accept. His eyes flicked back to the two men in question and a cold look formed in their depths. I didn't like to see him that way. He wasn't my Adam anymore... he was something much more sinister. Something that reminded me of all the times I had been hurt by men in the past, my father included.

I put my hand on his chin and turned his attention back to me. I wordlessly pleaded with him to let it go, at least for now. I knew that they were going to butt heads eventually, but not tonight. His gaze softened slightly and I sighed. He was my Adam once more. He leaned down and kissed me softly. I wasn't sure if it was solely for my benefit, or to piss a certain North Carolinian off even more than he was. Either way, I didn't care at the moment and I put my arms around his neck.

"Okay, we all get the point: you're together," Chris exclaimed, chucking an uneaten apple from his tray in our direction. Adam caught it as my arms were still locked around his neck and narrowed his eyes at his friend.

I untangled myself from Adam and took the apple from his hand. My old piece of fruit was still laying on the table with a slight brownish ooze coming from the nail punctures. I grimaced slightly before putting the fresh fruit to my lips and biting.

"Hey! That was mine!" Chris pointedly stated.

"Possession is nine-tenths of the law," I remarked, after I had swallowed my first bite of the sweet fruit.

"Not in Canada," he retorted, which caused me to roll my eyes and take another bite. That seemed to always be his response to things that didn't go his way... and I didn't even know him that well.

Conversation started up again amongst the table's occupants. Chris continued to sulk, John and Melina half participated in the conversation and half concentrated on each other, and Adam tried his best not to turn his attention to my embittered friends at the table a few rows down. I, on the other hand, found myself thinking about how this whole affair got started. It didn't seem like it was so long ago... it _wasn't_ actually.

Both rosters had just come back from an exhausting trip overseas in Europe. The one good thing about those trips was that we were promised some time off when we returned. That was music to my ears, especially since I had just started spending a lot more time with a certain blond Canadian...

_Friday April 18, 2008  
Tampa, Florida 5:45 pm  
Adam's House_

The blissful feeling of sleep was slipping away from me as I felt myself being shaken. I opened my eyes and blearily looked at the blond haired man above me. His perfect smile made a small one form on my still half-asleep features. If anyone would have told me a few months ago that I would be staying as a visitor in Adam Copeland's house, I would have probably slugged them. Adam and I never talked over all of the bruised feelings and betrayal that arose from his affair with Amy. She was my best female friend at the time, and Matt... well, he still is like my older brother. And on top of that, I too was hurt by the way they went about their affair - deceiving even their closest friends instead of just admitting they were in love. I couldn't imagine ever doing that.

_After Wrestlemania this year was when my relationship with Adam really began to blossom anew. Jeff was out on a suspension for drug use. Shortly after, he lost his home and beloved Jack in a fire that destroyed more than just the possessions inside. It seemed to take a piece of his soul with him. He moved into Matt's house with his girlfriend of many years Beth, but could not move on from what had happened. I tried to talk him out of it, but he seemed ready to relapse into a familiar haven of drug use. I knew that Matt would try his best to stop him, but I would be no help. I knew the spell that they could weave and did not even want to put myself in a situation where I could become entranced once more. _

_So without the company of my North Carolinian pals, I was surprised to find that the best company came from a former friend, current foe. The 'foe' part of that scenario had definitely changed the past month as we spent many nights after shows talking or catching dinner. We actually seamlessly phased into hanging out like we used to do before our group's own personal World War III began._

"Come on, sleepyhead," Adam grumbled, as he forcibly pulled me into a sitting position on the bed. "I said you could take a nap in here, not camp out for the whole weekend. Besides if you get up now and hurry, we can still grab something to eat before the concert."

_In my still sleepy-haze, I had totally forgotten about the whole reason I was even in Tampa to begin with. As with almost every other wrestler in the company, I was a huge music buff. You needed to have something to help pass the time traveling all over the world, and for most of us, our ears were constantly plugged into some device playing our favored tunes. One of my favorite bands, LIVE, announced that they were going on a big US Summer tour this year with a few other bands from the 90's alternative rock scene. Before the tour, they were playing a few select solo shows around the country as a warm-up. Tampa was one of the last dates of their pre-tour route. I had met the band a few years back and was able to parlay that into free tickets occasionally to some shows. _

_"You don't mind if I use your bathroom to freshen up?" I asked, pulling a few things from my suitcase at the end of the bed. I looked up at him from my crouched position on the floor and noticed something in his gaze... something I couldn't place. "Adam? Are you alright?"_

_"Fine... perfectly fine," he said with a nervous cough, causing my brow to furrow in confusion. "Feel free to use the bathroom, right that way."_

_I watched as he pointed to the smaller room off to the side, I had to stifle a laugh. What was up with him? I shook off whatever weird tension had fallen over us and made my way into the adjacent room. I quickly changed out of my lounge wear and into some casual attire... nothing too fancy for this wasn't really a date or anything. We were just two friends going to a show together... and a dinner. But it certainly couldn't be considered a date._

_We left twenty minutes later and spent the car ride in almost complete silence... well besides the local rock radio station blaring out over the speakers. Adam was quick to turn it on as soon as we got in his jeep. I didn't mind as I was too lost in my own thoughts over the concert tonight. I was unsure where we were going for dinner, but was absolutely floored when he pulled up to a beautifully designed white building that encompassed the whole city block. The valet had my door open before I could even protest that this was not really what I had in mind. A quick burger and soda would have been more than adequate, but this was... was... not like Adam at all._

_"Care to explain yourself, Mr. Copeland?" I asked with a rueful smile, as Adam came around to my side of the car. I still wasn't exactly sure what he was playing at, but intended to find out._

_"What?" he answered with a shrug, taking my arm in his. "Can't a friend just take another friend out for a nice dinner. Besides, you were the one whom invited me to the concert."_

_"And you do know that those tickets were free," I said in the same carefree manner that he had just responded in. I was about to continue when we stepped inside the building and my breath was knocked from my chest. "Okay... I really need an explanation now."_

_The restaurant was quite old-fashioned, like something you would see if you walked down the streets of Barcelona, Spain. The outside façade was ordinary compared to the decor of the foyer and subsequent dining halls. Rich colored wall, cherry wood furniture that contrasted greatly with the stark white tablecloths and place settings. I felt like as soon as I entered the building, I was no longer in Tampa, but somewhere on the Iberian peninsula._

_"Reservation is under Copeland."_

_I looked away from the decor of the restaurant and back to my amiable host. Reservations... which meant that he had actually planned on bringing me here the entire time. I was right about to question him some more when the hostess quickly escorted us from the foyer into the main dining hall. We were quickly whisked into a side room with only a few tables. There was an older couple already seated at the far end, but no one else to disturb us. I smiled slightly at that thought, knowing that it was always so hard to have privacy out. I loved my fans, but there were some times when I just wanted to be a normal twenty-nine year old woman._

_"Your server will be right with you."_

_And with that, Adam and I were alone again (well, not technically, but close enough). I spared a quick glance at the walls, which were fashionably adorned with portraits of past kings and queens of Spain. The light golden hue of the pastel yellow walls made everything in the room glow... including my date. The slight flicker of the candle at our table made his green eyes dance and smile beam. And I knew that I quickly had to quash any of these types of feelings before I got myself in more trouble than I already was._

_"Now, explain," I stated bluntly, breaking us both from our impromptu staring contest._

_"Explain what exactly?" he asked cheekily, as I was sure he knew what I was referring to._

_"Damn, Adam! Don't pull that shit with me!" I exclaimed loudly. I could see out of the corner of my eye that I had startled the other couple in the room. I quickly looked over and mouthed an apology before turning back to my amused companion._

_"I can't take you anywhere, can I," he mused, taking a sip from his water glass. _

_I glowered at him and was about to retort when the waiter came asking for our drink order. I had barely processed where I was at the moment, nevertheless what I wanted to drink. Yet my companion was on top of things and rattled off the name of a vineyard and year as quick as I could think of my name. I gave him another quizzical expression but he just shrugged._

_"The Columbia is known for their extensive wine cellar," he stated in a nonchalant manner. "I just figured we should take advantage of it."_

_"Is this how you are on actual dates?" I asked, trying to sound as cool and collect as he seemed. Inside, I was a wreck. I didn't understand what was going on, and how a few kind words and smiles could make my heart seem to beat faster in my chest._

_"'Actual dates?'" he posed, with a raise of his brow. "And what would you consider this?"_

_I tried to sputter out a reply, but his laughter broke through my train of thought._

_"I'm just playing with you, Ev," Adam soothed, as the waiter returned with the wine. "Unless... you thought that this was..."_

_"No!" I quickly interrupted, once again startling all around me. "I mean... I don't even know what I mean."_

_The waiter quickly poured us each a glass of the Chardonnay and made himself scarce. And honestly, I didn't blame him. Neither Adam or I had even glanced at the menu, and all the man had seen of my behavior was less than becoming. My only excuse was that I wasn't expecting to be put in this type of situation. This seemed too much like a 'real' date for me to process... but Adam seemed so cavalier about things and wasn't making any advances... not that I wanted him to._

_"Penny for your thoughts?"_

_I knew that I had zoned out, but it was just too easy to when so much was racing through my mind. I forced out a chuckle and took a sip of my wine before responding._

_"Only a penny?"_

_It was his turn to be lost for words at the flirtatious manner in which I posed the question. I just slyly smirked at him from behind my wine glass, raising it slightly as if to toast. He reciprocated the gesture and we shared a genuine look. I was the first to look away and down at the extensive menu that sat in front of me._

_"How am I ever going to choose?" I murmured, more to myself than my companion._

_"We could share," Adam posed, causing me to look up from the text in front of me. "They are known for their amazing tapas. We could just get the variety platter and have a little of everything."_

_"I... yeah. That sounds great," I muttered, closing my menu. _

_Adam went to respond to my sudden quiet behavior, but the waiter returned. As he ordered, I just watched the man sitting in front of me. Who was he? He seemed to read my mind when it came to what I would want to order. I loved to eat and was always one to love and try many new things. We had been good friends once upon a time, but he seemed to have this planned out a little too much. It felt like this night meant something to him; something more than just two friends sharing dinner and a show. _

_"You alright?" Adam asked, as soon as the waiter was out of earshot._

_"Yeah," I said with a small smile. "I'm just still trying to process all of this. This whole evening... is amazing, and I just feel that somehow..."_

_"Somehow?" he posed, when I trailed off. I didn't know if I wanted to continue. I was unsure of what his intentions were for the night. Hell, I was unsure of what 'my' intentions were. _

_"I just feel like you know me better than you should," I answered truthfully, deciding that if this friendship was really to advance, it would need to be based on honesty._

_"We were friends, you know?" Adam said with a laugh. "Still are in my opinion."_

_"Mine too."_


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to Rated-R-For-Randomness for betaing? This means a lot that she is taking the time to do this.**

**Disclaimer: I own my OC.**

**Please Please read and review. I do take constructive criticism too….So please take the time to review and let me know how I am doing**

****

_Friday April 18, 2008  
Tampa, Florida 7:45 pm  
Ruth Eckerd Hall_

_"We are so going to be late!"_

_"You worry way too much, Ev. The show doesn't start 'til eight and LIVE won't be on 'til at least nine."_

_"Still, we spent way too long at the Columbia."_

_Adam gave me a sideways glance as we walked away from the parked jeep and toward the concert hall. He opened his mouth as if to respond, but closed it before any more words came out. After we shared a delicious array of tapas, we couldn't say no to their amazing Godiva Chocolate cake. I knew that both of us would have to spend an extra session in the gym because of it, but the decadence was so worth it. Over both dinner and dessert, we fell into a comfortable conversation. At times, it skewed to mild flirtation, but we both maintained a 'just friends' stance about the whole night._

_"Maybe we did, but it was worth it," Adam responded with a grin. _

_I nodded and remembered a question that I had earlier, but was never answered. I grasped his hand to halt him from walking any further. He looked at me with a quizzical grin, but stayed quiet._

_"I just was wondering... about tonight," I started with a curious look. "The restaurant... you had reservations?"_

_"Is that a crime?" Adam posed sarcastically with a laugh._

_"No, but... why?"_

_I had many questions that I wanted answered, but they were all based on that fundamental one. He furrowed his brow and was about to respond but stopped. He laughed and shook his head, walking a few paces closer to the concert hall._

_"Weren't you the one who was worried about being late?" he asked, taking my hand and forcing me to start walking again._

_"Why are you avoiding the question?" I asked adamantly, trying to drag my feet to halt him, but just succeeded in getting gravel in my shoe._

_"Maybe because I don't understand what you want me to say," he admitted, as we drew close to the hall. He turned to me and was bathed in the glow of the streetlight. "I wanted to do something special, okay."_

_"Special, huh?" I said, with a raised brow._

_"I appreciate the fact that you are giving me a second chance," he said, rubbing the palm of my hand. "I know you don't trust easy for reasons which are your own. I won't pry and I am not expecting you to open your heart fully to me... I just want you to know that... that you mean something to me... that your friendship means something to me."_

_I smiled and intertwined the fingers of our grasped hands together. He smiled back at me and I felt like this really was the start of something new._

_"And the restaurant choice?" I asked, cocking my head to the side. "Was it just a coincidence that you suggested tapas or..." _

_"...Or did I know that you happened to really enjoy them?" he finished sheepishly. "I heard you talking to Melina a few nights ago... about the tapas bar you went to while in Valencia."_

_"Spying on me, Copeland?" I asked jokingly, as I pulled him along and toward the entrance of the hall._

_One of the best things about being on an overseas tour with the WWE was getting to sample cuisine from all over the world. The Smackdown roster had a show in Valencia, Spain a little over a week ago, and it just so happens that one of my favorite type of eateries were tapas bars. Being the origin of tapas, Spain was the ideal place to enjoy the unique and multitude of varieties. Matt, Shannon, and I had found an amazing place on the two hour down time we were given before we had to catch the bus to La Plaza de Toros for the show. Seems like my blond haired companion had overheard me gushing about it. I honestly couldn't fault him for that. I could be quite a louder talker at times and knew for a fact that I had spoken of the place more than once. I was just really touched that he went out of his way to arrange a dinner like that, just because he knew that I would really enjoy it._

_We made our way through the glass doorways and into the foyer of the hall. Even though the show was just about to start, it seemed like we weren't the only ones running a little late. The area was packed, and Adam tightened the grasp on my hand as to not lose me in the crowd. I looked over my shoulder and saw he had pushed his sunglasses over his eyes. I had to laugh if he thought that would make him less recognizable. He grinned down at me and said something that I could not decipher over the din of the crowd. I motioned to my ear with my free hand and he nodded before leaning down to press his lips on the shell of my ear. _

_"You want a drink?" he asked, but my attention was solely focused on how his warm breath felt. _

_I closed my eyes and rid myself of any 'more than friends' thoughts before nodding. He grinned and pulled me in the direction of a beer stall. The line was a decent size and mostly male, so I wasn't surprised when we were quickly recognized by a few fans. As soon as I noticed the attention we were getting, I discreetly detangled my fingers from Adam's and stood a pace away. He gave me a slightly miffed look, but went right back to signing a few tickets for fans. I smiled and did the same, but was quite happy when we were left with just a beer in hand._

_We heard the local warm-up band take the stage and Adam gesture to the entranceway of the hall. There was a rush of people heading in, thus I shook my head and leant up against a wall, taking a long sip of the bitter liquid. He walked over and fell in by my side, sipping at his own beer. I looked over and smiled, happy for the company._

_"Thanks again for coming with me," I said._

_"What?" he responded loudly, motioning that he couldn't hear._

_"I just said 'thanks again for coming with me!" I exclaimed louder. A few people around us turned to look and I groaned. He just laughed and threw his free arm around me, pulling me to his side. "You did that on purpose, didn't you?"_

_"Maybe," he answered coyly, his lips once again close to my ear. _

_I pushed off of him and headed a few yards away, taking another sip from my bottle. He quickly followed and was soon at my side. I leaned against him and I thought about going into the seated area. But my thoughts became scrambled when I felt Adam retake my free hand in his. I looked up at him quizzically, but he was busy avoiding my gaze. I felt his fingers lightly massaging my own and knew that I needed to break free for a second. I didn't want to do anything that would put him off so I made a quick decision. I put my beer bottle to my lips and chugged the amber liquid down. I grimaced when finished, but knew I had to try and act normal._

_"I'm going to get another," I said loudly, making sure that there would be no confusion._

_Adam looked down at me, surprised to see my bottle was empty and his still half full. He laughed, but didn't protest when I pulled from his grasp. He motioned to follow so I quickly stopped._

_"How 'bout you go in and I'll meet you at the seats?" I posed with a smile. _

_His face fell slightly, but he nodded and complied. And as I watched his retreating form, I couldn't help but feel bad. It wasn't like I did anything wrong, but I felt like I had hurt him somehow. I quickly went and purchased two more bottles of beer. I pushed my way into the crowded arena and found our seats near the stage. I smiled at how Adam's height made him visible over the multitude of other concert goers. The opening act was just finishing up as I found my seat and handed Adam one of the bottles._

_"Just in case," I said, gesturing to the bottle. He grinned and nodded._

_We both sat down as the band left the stage. I took a sip of my new beer and leaned over to him._

_"So, were they any good?" I asked, trying to make small talk with him. He just turned and shrugged. I nodded, but was confused. _

_Earlier in the night, we had no problem communicating, but now things seemed different. He continued to stare at me with some unnamed emotion in his eyes. I tried to read him the best I could, but just found myself falling deeper into the molten green of his irises. I opened my mouth to say something, but he quickly turned and took a swig of his beer. Thankfully, only a few tense moments went by before the first few strains of 'Simple Creed' filled the arena. The whole crowd swelled in vocal approval as we rose to enjoy what was bound to be a great show._

_An hour later, LIVE finished their main set and was coming back out for their encore. I smiled knowing that one of my all-time favorite songs was only a few minutes from being played. Being in the entertainment field myself and knowing the power of a live crowd, hearing a band play a song that they wrote was truly an emotive experience. I looked over at my companion and was shocked to find that his gaze already lingered on my form. I grabbed his hand and pulled him down so my lips rested near his ear._

_"Are you having a good time?" I asked, hoping he heard me over the last strains of LIVE's penultimate song._

_I pulled back enough to look in his eyes and watch as he nodded. I went to turn back to the stage, but he quickly reached up and still my head from moving. He leaned down, brushing the hair away from my ear._

_"I need to tell you something... something I have been trying to say all night," he said earnestly. "I..."_

_He stopped short of continuing when the first guitar riff on LIVE's most recognizable song blared through the arena. I turned away from him to look at the stage and smile. 'Lightning Crashes' was a song that meant so much to me. The poignant lyrics seemed to touch some inner part of my soul. The whole idea of a transference of life was something that stayed with me ever since my mother's death. Every moment of every day, the world is filled with death and new life happening at the same time. That is just how mortal life works... and how emotions of the heart work as well. _

_Adam knew all too well from our talks about music in years past what the song meant to me. By the way he had just responded to it's opening refrain, he obviously remembered. I looked from the stage to my companion and was not surprised to find his eyes were still fixed on me. I turned fully to face him and opened my mouth to speak, but was quickly halted by his lips descending on mine. One of his hands came up and cupped my cheek. I let my eyes slip shut as I felt his tongue trace my bottom lip. Even though I was unsure if this was what I ultimately wanted, I let my lips part and granted him entrance. He took the invitation and quickly seized upon it deepening the kiss. He moved his hand from my cheek to tangle in my hair, while his other arm wrapped around my waist, the action pulling me flush against him._

_As the song intensified around us, so did our need for air. We broke apart, gasping for air. I stared up at him, searching for any meaning that kiss could have held. No one kisses someone who is just their friend like that, and if so, I definitely had the wrong set of friends. Before I could get too caught up in the meaning of Adam's actions, he leaned back in for another kiss. This time was the total converse of the first. It was still passionate, but not so heated or needy. This one was tender and had me thinking that I could definitely get used to this. He kissed the side of my mouth before pulling me to him and looking back to the stage._

_After what we had just shared, I refused to look anywhere but at him. He seemed to notice, but didn't let his gaze falter from the band on stage. He just moved his free hand to grasp my own, entwining our fingers once more._

_And unlike before, I didn't pull away.  
_  
"Huh?"

I stammered and looked at the four other occupants of the table. From their quizzical expressions, I surmised that they had asked me something. I looked down sheepishly at my now bronzed apple and sighed. It was so easy to get caught up in the past.

"So, what did I miss?" I asked, lightly tossing the mostly uneaten apple back on Jericho's finished tray.

"Where did you go?" Adam asked in an amused tone.

"I was thinking of the first time you kissed me," I said bluntly, not caring at how love struck I sounded. He grinned and his eyes hazed over slightly as if he was remembering the moment himself.

"Uh-oh, I think they are going to go all kissy face again," Melina remarked with a chuckle.

"Real mature, hun," I said, sparing my friend a look.

Yet before I could remark on her statement any further, Adam leaned down and captured my lips in his. All of the passion that I had felt those many months ago was still so fresh in my mind that the kiss seemed eerily similar to our first. I heard Mel mumble the words _'told you'_ to the other two members of the table, but paid her no heed. My sole focus was on Adam's lips... well, and tongue. Yet before I could get too lost in the moment, he pulled back and retorted to something Chris had said that I wasn't even aware of.

Conversation started up again amongst the table. I listen half heartedly and shared a few goofy glances with Mel. We both seemed quite content to be in the arms of our respective lovers. It did feel nice to be able to share just these quiet moments together as a couple... even though I could still feel a few pairs of pointed glares that were directed at me (or my fair headed man). In my mind, my friends were all being stubborn and I wasn't going to sink to their level. One cannot control one's emotions, especially when it comes to affairs of the heart. I knew that I hurt them, but this whole ridiculous feud was hurting me too. It was time to let the past stay buried and rise from the ashes. Adam had and was better for it. Matt was still soaking in the flames.

"What time is it?" Melina asked, as John quickly retrieved his phone from his pocket.

"Quarter to five, why?" he asked, returning the phone to its denim confines.

"Shit, we have to go!" Mel exclaimed, jumping up and grabbing me by my hand to get me out of Adam's embrace. "You still need to get your makeup, hair, and costume all ready for tonight."

"Oh damn, you mean I might actually miss the popularity contest that Mickie or Maria are bound to win?" I asked in a sarcastic manner.

"Come on, beautiful," Adam goaded, as Melina pulled me away from the table. "You look so hot in your costume."

"Yeah, that you almost tore in half the last time I had it on," I remarked, turning around and halting our progress out of the area.

The past few years, the WWE had insisted on making the Divas partake in a Halloween Costume contest. I thought it was a ludicrous idea. At least when we would wrestle in costumes in the past (like some of the infamous schoolgirl outfit matches), we had some in-ring action. This was nothing more than a dozen half dressed women showing off some tits and ass in trashy costumes. You were allowed to decide your costume, as long as it fit the criteria for the contest... meaning that it had to show a lot of skin.

We had already filmed our pre-taped "Vote for Me" segments at the last television tapings. Adam hade surprised me by flying out to visit the arena. Let's just say I was lucky that my costume was salvageable since I doubted I could get another one made before the pay-per-view. My costume was a revealing version of Spider-Girl's outfit. I was planning on wearing a cat suit like the actual costume, but was told that even Beth was wearing something short. Even though the company had moved to a PG rating, the executives didn't see a problem with the Divas being portrayed as little more than eye-candy.

Thus my costume was not a full body suit, but a bra and skirt version of the outfit. The Spider-Girl insignia was still emblazoned across the chest and stomach, cover much of my torso and navel. The blue skirt was not skin tight, but still short. My knee high stiletto boots were red with black webbing which matched the elbow high arm warmers. Instead of the mask that fully covered the character's head, I was just going to be wearing a black mask to give off the indication of the large spider eyes. It wasn't the most revealing of the costumes in this year's lot, but I felt comfortable in it, and I knew that my boyfriend approved wholeheartedly.

"Don't I at least get a kiss before you go?" Adam joked, with a pouty face taking over his features. With the unkempt beard, he looked absolutely ridiculous... but still quite hot.

"Ugh... I liked it better when only a few of us knew about this relationship," Chris groaned, propping his feet up on my vacated seat.

I walked back over to the table, kicking the chair out from under Chris's feet. I leaned down and pressed a light kiss to Adam's lips. He smirked as I pulled back and waved to the other two men at the table. Melina once again took my hand in hers and hurried me out of the room. Yet not before I shared a last pointed glare with the brown haired Hardy whom sat only a few feet away from the door.

-

"It wasn't that bad."

"Says the woman who was _lucky_ enough to still be 'injured' and didn't have to take part in that... that..."

"Costume contest?"

I scoffed at Melina as I wiped the last traces of black face makeup away from my eyes. That was hardly what I would call it.

"More like a cattle call," I muttered under my breath, turning away from the mirror to face her. "And didn't I call Mickie winning again?"

"Yes, you did," she said matter-of-factly. "But I didn't think it was so bad. At least you got a few whacks in on Michelle."

Oh, yes... because nothing was complete in a WWE Divas Fashion Show without a catfight in stilettos. Even though we were both faces and on the same brand, I couldn't help myself. I got a few heated looks from her in our final face audience pose in the ring, after the heels had been thrown to ringside. I didn't care though. She would have done the same if she had thought of it sooner... or if I was a second too slow.

"She so deserved it after that lame ass pre-tape segment," I said, throwing my wrinkled costume back into my suitcase. I stood up straight and put on my best Michelle fake smile, clearing my throat to get the other Diva's attention. _"Hey guys, Michelle McCool here. And in honor of our troops, tonight I'm going to be your army brat. Vote for me or else you'll be in major trouble."_

I ended my tribute of my least favorite Diva with a mock salute. Melina just chuckled, shaking her head. She wasn't a huge fan of the blonde Diva, but didn't share the same hatred that I did. Maybe hate was too strong of a word... nope, it fit. We just didn't get along at all and everyone in the locker room knew. Not all of my relationships were so secretive.

"I mean, who does she think she is?" I asked, getting the rest of my stuff together and zipping up the suitcase. "The role of John Cena is already taken."

"Well, you could say she is the female version of him," Melina imparted. "I mean, they created the Divas title..."

"You mean the Barbie belt?" I joked, making gagging noises about how hideous the championship was.

"They created it pretty much for her," Melina said shrugging. I had to bite my lip from retorting that it was really Mark that got it put on her. Vince would do anything to keep him with the company as long as possible. "I mean, I don't think the division really needs two belts. Just let the champ be on both brands. They barely have any meaningful matches with us these days to begin with."

"At least you and Beth got to have an "I Quit" match..." I started, but was quickly cut off by my friend.

"Yeah... in which I got hurt in," she responded, pointing to her practically healed heel.

"I thought it was in the tag match a few weeks later?" I asked, as I finished packing and waited for her to get ready to leave. We were the last two Divas in the room, as most took off as soon as the contest was over.

"It was, but I tweaked it at _One Night Stand_," she informed me. I nodded and grabbed my suitcase and began rolling it to the door. "How did we get on this again... oh, right: 'meaningful matches'. I think the reason I got hurt is the lack of real wrestling we do anymore. I mean, how many times is the Diva filler match on television just a tag or six-person match?"

"You don't have to remind me," I told her with a sardonic laugh. "I live it every night, remember?"

"Well, JoMo's already at the car," Mel said, as we left the locker room. "Call me tomorrow? Maybe we'll do breakfast?"

"Sure," I said with a small smile.

I gave her a quick hug and went to find Adam. I figured that he was probably still in catering. He had spent most of the night there, just relaxing in front of the screen and watching the show. Every televised event the crew set up a large screen in the catering area so the wrestlers not being used or waiting to go on can watch the event. I knew for a fact that he was trying his best to avoid the locker room and even had Chris go get his bag while the show was still in-progress. Anything to avoid an altercation that might have repercussions on his imminent return.

Lost in my thoughts, I quickly turned the corner only a few paces in front of the catering area. Yet before I made it through the door, I smacked into some. Luckily, the mystery person was able to keep me steady and on my feet. I looked straight up into the emerald eyes of my best friend. His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak. I quickly pushed out of his grasp and held my hand in the air, silencing him.

"Jeff, stop," I said, keeping my voice as steady as I could. "You're my best friend and I love you but if I don't hear an apology... or any words of acceptance... I don't want to hear anything."

I stepped back from him and his mouth slowly opened and closed. He shook his head and I could tell he was unsure of what to do. I didn't blame him. He was probably just as confused as I was. I was only mad at him for not sticking up with me. I knew that we had been through a lot. I could honestly say that I was in this business because of Jeff. We both alike in so many ways... we got each other in ways no one could understand. Adam always said that he would like to spend five minutes in Jeff's brain and try to understand what was going on in there. It was said as a complement, but I could see how Jeff might take it the other way. But that was only a speck compared to the planet size impasse we found ourselves at now.

"I, however, will say I'm sorry I kept this from you," I said, breaking the silence that had fallen over us. "I didn't want to hide anything from you... but I was scared. I was scared that something like this would happen."

With that, I nodded my head solemnly and pushed past him and into the catering doorway. I stopped short and waited to see if he would respond. Yet I was met with the sound of silence. I sighed and turned back around to see he had already started to walk away. I guess we weren't as alike as I thought.

"You looking for me?"

Adam's baritone voice startled me and I turned to see him leaning against the doorjamb a few inches from me. I smiled and nodded, not sure if I trusted my voice. I hated all of the emotions I was feeling, but it was hard to fully cut my friends from my life. Adam's eyes darkened as he noticed something was off.

"We going to head out?" Chris asked, coming to stand next to the two of us. "I hope you don't mind that I am bumming a ride, but Steve already took off."

I just nodded and the three of us walked out of the arena in uncomfortable silence. I was surprised that Chris could actually stay quiet for longer than five seconds. Luckily, security had kept fans away from the employee parking lot for once and we were able to get to Adam's rental in peace. I took the back seat so I could just be lost in my thoughts and leave the guys to talk. They quickly fell into conversation about the upcoming regular NHL season, and I zoned out, thinking about if I was going about this the right way.

I had a right to be mad at Matt, yes. But should I really expect an apology? Matt wasn't one to apologize lightly, especially when he thought his pride had been wounded. And someone that he considered his sister dating his _mortal enemy_? I just wished he could grow up and realize that Adam had changed. He was immature and trying to find what it meant to be in love. He thought that he found it with Amy and went for it. He was wrong... so was she, but the heart wants what the heart wants. I wasn't condoning their actions, but it had been too long to hang on to the hatred and betrayal we all felt. Amy was forgiven in Matt's eyes, but he still felt as if Adam was fully responsible. That the man he shared many years of friendship was always waiting to get with his girl... like the whole world revolves are Matt Hardy.

"We're here, beautiful."

I looked at Adam as he turned around from the front seat. It didn't seem like that long of a trip, but we were just staying in a Phoenix area. Raw was still in town for tomorrow's show and most of the Smackdown roster was taking tomorrow as a travel day. I just nodded and slowly got out of the car. I saw him frown as I brushed past him to get my bags from the trunk and quickly head to the hotel.

"Wait up!" I felt his arms encircle my waist as he stilled my movement. "What has gotten into you tonight?"

"It's nothing," I murmured, as we both walked slowly into the hotel. "I'm going to get a..."

"You're sharing with me," he interrupted with a grin. "I already have the reservation."

A few moments later, Adam and I parted with Chris at the elevator as we made our ways to our respective rooms. The silence was deafening, but I didn't want to discuss all of this with Adam. There was so much that Adam didn't know about my relationship with the Hardys. He knew the basics and could see how close we are, but he didn't know about all of the dark times that were behind the smiles. I knew that he would want me to open up out everything, but I just wasn't ready.

"Long day, huh?" Adam asked, as he flopped down on the king-sized bed.

"One of the longest," I murmured, thinking about waking up with him in Cameron and all that followed. I shook my head and tried to clear my mind of thoughts of hurtful words in a southern drawl, but I couldn't. I decided that maybe I needed Adam's comfort more than I wanted to admit. "I ran into Jeff after the show."

"I knew something must've happened," Adam responded. "Want to talk about it?"

"We didn't say much," I said with a shrug, trying my best to feign like it didn't bother me. He could see the emotional struggle I was having and opened his arms to me. I sighed and tried to keep my glassy eyes full of tears and not have them cascade down my face. I had done enough crying for one day. "I told him not to talk to me unless he accepts us or apologizes."

He nodded his head solemnly as I crawled up the bed and onto his chest. I arranged myself so that I was lying with my head on his chest, listening to the soothing sound of his heartbeat. A few stray tears escaped my eyes and quickly damped the cotton of his shirt.

"Is it worth it?"

The question hung in the air and caused a few more tears to fall. At that moment, I realized the biggest shame of today was the fact that my boyfriend doubted my feelings for him. He was the one who over the past few months was starting to mend a heart that I thought would always be damaged beyond repair. At the beginning of our relationship, he was the one who was grateful, but the identities had been reversed.

"You are worth it," I stated firmly, pressing a kiss to the damp cotton lying on his heart.

I looked up into his eyes and saw the unconditional love that had grown between us. I leaned up and kissed him lightly on his lips. He broke the kiss and moved his lips to my cheeks, kissing away the tracks of my tears. He moved his lips to my still tear-filled eyes and kissed them away before they could fall. A small smile graced his lips as he leaned over to my ear.

"No, beautiful: _we're_ worth it."


	6. Chapter 6

**I want to thank Rated-R-For-Randomness for betaing? This story. It really wouldn't be a good one without her. So thank you. Also thank you to those that do review its great that you take the time. **

**Please leave a review it's a little disconcerting to people that write and have hundreds read their stories but no reviews. Please good or bad I wanna hear. Even if you have your own ideas it would be great…thanks.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC and my general idea.**

"Something wrong?"

_Yes, something was wrong._ Yet I wasn't sure if I wanted to admit it. Yesterday had sent my emotions to so many different heights that I wasn't sure if what I was feeling was real. My relationship with Adam had always been a point of contention in my own mind. I didn't know what to classify it as. I cared about him deeply. I was missing him right now, but our relationship always lingered in a zone of the unspecified. Hardly anyone knew we were a couple, so we were free to just have fun with each other. We shared more than conventional friends, but less than true unconditional lovers.

There was so much Adam didn't know about me, and so much I didn't know about him. And we were fine with that. We didn't push each other to open up. We were comfortable where we stood. Yet now that our relationship was out in the open, I knew things would have to change. I couldn't pretend that he didn't mean a lot to me. I had to face the facts that I was falling for him... and _falling hard._

"I miss Adam," I whispered, more to myself than my companion.

I knew he heard me as I spared a glance to the blond behind the wheel. We were in the midst of driving from Phoenix to Tucson for the Raw broadcast that night. Adam had left very early to head back to Florida. He had an appointment with his general doctor that he could not miss. When he left the broadcasts in August, it wasn't for injury per se, but more an accumulation of many things. Little tweaks here, shoulder pain there. Also, he just needed a slight break from the everyday grind of a full time Superstar. He had carried the Smackdown brand for much of the year and it took a mental toll. But his appointment and examination today would give him the confirmation that his body was ready for him to come back.

"It's tough, not seeing your loved ones all the time..."

"Hold up: _'loved ones'_?" I said, halting the former World Heavyweight champion from continuing. "Chris, we're not _in love_."

The blond Canadian laughed under his breath. I gave him a pointed look, but it didn't stop him from continuing on with his allegation.

"_You_ might think that, but _Adam_..."

"Chris! Can you stop, please?"

My look turned into a glare and he knew not to push me after what I had experienced the day before. He closed his mouth and turned back to look straight ahead, concentrating on driving. I said a silent prayer of thanks, and pressed my head against the window of the car once more. I looked out at the dusty landscape and just thought on what Chris had said. I was unsure of what Adam really thought of our relationship. I knew that he had wanted to go public for awhile, but I didn't understand the motivation behind it. This was the man who was happy to have a sense of privacy in all facets of his life. Was it _really_ because he had stronger feelings for me than I believed or something else?

"Remember the night I found out about you two?"

I looked away from the arid landscape and back to my companion. He glanced over and smiled, even though there was little about the night in question that was straightforwardly amiable. Adam had been pressuring me to tell the Carolina crew about our budding relationship... or at least our stable friendship. I said it was best if left until another time. Jeff was still going through some emotional problems after his house fire and I knew Matt was not even close to being civil with Adam yet. I wanted to wait until things were a little more stable in their lives. But that didn't mean I was against _everyone_ knowing...

_Thursday August 7, 2008  
Adams' House - Tampa Florida_

_"Stop beeping! You stupid son of a..."_

_"Babe, relax. It just takes some finesse work. Watch."_

_I watched as Adam pressed the buttons on the panel of his electronic range stovetop. I had yet to figure out the intricacies of his kitchen as I didn't cook much when I visited. Yet tonight was a special occasion and I wanted everything to be perfect. If only I could get Adam's appliances to agree with me, I wouldn't be running behind._

_"See? It's heating now," he muttered as the stovetop started to warm. He stepped behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, leaning in so his lips ghosted my ear. "How about a reward for making it work?"_

_"How about you go get dressed and leave me to get this ready?" I replied, shrugging out of his hold and grabbing the ingredients I needed from the countertop._

_"But I am dressed," Adam said, motioning to his outfit. I looked him over and shook my head. _

_On any normal day, I would say a Kiss T-shirt and faded, ripped jeans would have been acceptable, but not tonight. Tonight was our first dinner party as a couple. Tonight, we were going to tell two of his closest friends that we were a couple. Jay and Chris had yet to find out about our relationship and I wanted to make a good first impression. I knew it sounded ridiculous as I knew both of the men from work, but this was the first time we were coming out as a couple to anyone. Well, besides Melina, but she didn't count as she never really saw us together. It was more me just burdening her with all my problems. _

_"Please, Adam," I said, turning from my work on dinner to find his gaze. "This is important to me."_

_"It's important to me, too," Adam replied with a disbelieving chuckle. "But it's just Jay and Chris..."_

_"And Denise and Jessica," I interrupted, looking sternly at my boyfriend. "I've never met one of them and the other... the last time I saw Denise was years ago."_

_"Babe, relax," he replied, before sighing as he realized that he was not going to sway my opinion. "Fine, I'll change. Even though I think you are acting ridiculous, I'll change."_

_"Thank you," I muttered, as I turned my attention back to the vegetables in front of me. I heard him laugh and mumble something under his breath, but was too busy with the dinner preparation to pay any attention._

_By the time Adam had returned to the kitchen, I had finished making the Italian salad. It was part antipasto, part green salad... easy yet not too plain and uninspiring. The tiramisu was already finished, as I had prepared that earlier in the day. It took twice as long as I thought because Adam insisted on helping. He didn't seem to understand that it took me years to perfect the dish and I had to do it a certain way. After multiple failed attempts to do it together, I got him to agree to have us both make the layered dessert separately. One turned out and one, well... let's just say only one turned out edible._

_I looked up at my boyfriend and frowned. He held his arms out and spun around with a sarcastic smirk on his face. His attire consisted of an old pair of his wrestling trunks and huge glasses from his days as a tag team with Jay. I set down the knife I was using and walked over to him. I grasped him by the ear and dragged him back to the bedroom._

_"You are such an ass," I vented as I let go of him. "I am only going to ask politely one more time... get dressed!"_

_I stalked back into the kitchen, silently praying that my boyfriend would not pull another stupid stunt like that. If I wasn't so nervous, I would have seen the humor in his action. Yet at the moment, I was close to tears about how nothing was going right. I still needed to take a quick shower and get ready myself. I was unsure if I could trust to watch over everything in the kitchen after his current actions._

_When he came back to the kitchen, I looked up and had to smile. Finally... a nice white dress shirt, suede blazer, and dark jeans. He cleaned up nice. I nodded my head and looked back to make sure everything was going swimmingly. I was satisfied and turned to him with an earnest look._

_"Watch over everything for me?" I asked as I headed past him to his room. "Just don't touch anything and call me if the oven timer goes off."_

___"Relax, everything will be fine," he attested, but I just shot him a perturbed look before disappearing down the hallway. _

_I took the quickest shower in history before drying my hair and applying a light coat of makeup. I didn't have to be the WWE Diva tonight. I just had to be Everleigh, Adam's girlfriend. I pulled on my gray cocktail dress and slipped on my black leather pumps. I tousled my hair once in the mirror before deciding that I looked as good as I could at the moment. I had too much on my mind besides my looks. I hustled back to the kitchen just in time to see Adam sticking his finger into the pot of mashed potatoes. I grabbed a wooden spoon from the counter and whacked his finger before it could touch the starchy substance._

_"I said - don't touch," I muttered, pushing him out of the way to make sure he didn't do any more damage._

_"You look nice," he replied, standing behind me and rubbing his stubbly chin in the crook of my neck. "Food smells good too."_

_"Are you sure it's enough?" I asked, pushing him back to see if the pan-roasted chicken was staying warm but not turning dry in the oven._

_"We'll be eating leftovers for the next nights, so I would say 'yeah,'" he replied with a laugh._

___Before I could retort that I had to leave to go back on the road with the Raw brand tomorrow, Adam's doorbell rang. I quickly pressed my lips together and looked back at all of the dishes in front of me. Chicken, potatoes, salad, and tiramisu... not the fanciest dinner ever, but sure to make a good impression. Adam laughed as he walked out of the room and headed to answer the door. I tried my best to busy myself by taking the chicken out of the oven and checking on the potatoes... anything to take my mind off of the four people that were entering the house._

_"Eh, babe? You coming?"_

I took a deep breath and decided it was now or never. I took one last glance at the dinner I prepared and once I was certain it wouldn't be ruined walked down the hallway. I paused outside of the entryway to the living room. I heard Jay laugh and everything came crashing down on me. What was I thinking with this dinner? I was still a Hardy sympathizer in their minds and no dinner would change it. I went to turn around and head back to the kitchen when I felt my arm grasped from the side. I turned to look into the jovial eyes of my boyfriend and tried to push down my fears for him. He pressed a quick kiss to my cheek before reaching down to intertwine his fingers with mine. I took one last deep breath and walked into the room.

_"You should have seen Tomko's face. It was..."_

Jay's statement died in his throat. He regarded me with surprise, but soon forced a small smile to his lips. The other three occupants of the room turned my way. I waved slightly as I felt the weight of their stares on me. Adam said something, but I couldn't concentrate on anything but their faces. The four blondes let smiles come to their faces, but I could see the expressions were forced. I looked away and tried my best not to do anything stupid... well, stupider than thinking that this dinner party was a good idea.

"Um…I'm going to go and check on the food."

_I made a hasty retreat from the room, but my legs could not take me far. How was I ever supposed to tell my own friends about us if I couldn't even get through this dinner? I tried to keep myself composed and was about to leave for the kitchen when the TNA wrestler spoke up once more._

"What the hell are you doing, bro?" Jay asked, with confusion laced in his tone. "Do you remember what things were like when you were with Amy?"

_I knew that it had to come back to that. How was I supposed to have a relationship with Adam when our circle of friends had too much history between them?_

"It's not the same thing!" Adam exclaimed, and I was tempted to peer around the corner and watch. I decided it was bad enough I was spying, but there was no way I could leave now. "Ev and I are happy and it's not like..."

"You're actually with Ev... as in dating?" Chris spoke up. "This shit is going to start a war all over again. And don't think the boys are going to have your back now that both Hardys are in the company."

_"They didn't have my back the last time," Adam muttered, and I bowed my head. I was one of the people who turned on him, but with good reason. I couldn't just abandon Matt to stand by the two people who destroyed him. _

_"Do you remember how broken you felt when you had to end things with Amy?" Jay imparted, trying to sound like the voice of reason. Did he honestly think that I would hurt Adam? "Do the Core even know about the two of you yet?"_

"No," Adam muttered, but I could tell that his temper was about to flare. "This is bullshit! I thought maybe you would be happy for me! I haven't felt like this since…since I don't even know when. It's different this time."

"Adam," Jay started gently, probably trying his best to calm his best friend down. "I love you like you're my brother - you know that. But I don't want to see you hurt again. After Amy, you weren't in a good place. You were different and I don't want to see that happen again."

"This is different," Adam stated, and I could hear Chris try to speak up. He was quickly and ferociously silenced by my boyfriend's loud tenor. "She wanted to invite you all over here for a chance to reconnect! To get to know you as my girlfriend, not someone you work with or based on relationships from years past. She is doing something nice for all of you to feel comfortable about us... to get used to the idea of us. But if this how you're going to treat her - to treat us - then you can leave now."

I shook my head and knew that I couldn't continue to listen. If I wanted to make it through the night without tracks of tears down my cheeks, I needed to busy myself in anything but my emotional thoughts. I headed back to the kitchen and tried to put all I heard in the back of my mind. I had already set out the place settings in the dining room; all that was needed was the food. I slowly brought the dishes into the dining room, all the while trying to block out the voices I still heard coming from the other room. By the time I was pouring myself a glass of wine, the five blondes stood at the entryway.

_We all sat down and had a very uncomfortable dinner. Jessica, bless her heart, tried to make small talk. We discussed cooking and different recipes, but it was really hard to be upbeat with the piercing looks Adam was giving the other male occupants of the room. I rushed through my food just so I would have an excuse to leave. I quickly started gathering empty plates and excused myself once more from their presence._

I did not want to go back in there and face the awkward tension. These were people I considered friends once... well, at least I considered them more than just co-workers. Yet it seemed like nothing could thaw out the chill in that room. I rinsed the dishes and loaded them in the dishwasher. Next, I put the food in Adam's pretty empty refrigerator. My mind raced in circles as I tried to think of another task to accomplish... anything to prolong the inevitable.

"Everleigh?"

I turned and saw both Jay and Chris standing in the entryway of the kitchen. I fidgeted on my feet as I tried to gauge their intent. I didn't have my security blanket named 'Adam' with me, and was uncertain what to say to them. I nodded my head and turned fully to face them, hoping they couldn't tell how stressed they were making me.

_"Fuck, why is this so hard?" Chris started with a laugh. "We work together and... yeah, well... listen..."_

_"What I think the master linguist over here is trying to say is we're sorry," Jay interrupted with a grin. I had to smile as Chris smacked Jay on the back of his head for the comment. "We know we pretty much wrecked the night, but it really doesn't have anything to do with you."_

_"Yeah - it's just we remember what he was like after... well, you know," Chris cut in, refusing to even mention the affair in so many words. I just nodded, prompting him to continue. "Not saying that it will happen again, but..."_

_Chris turned to Jay and looked for help. I laughed and shook my head at the two men. It seemed like they were actually intimidated at speaking with me. I was happy that I wasn't the only one who felt out of place tonight. _

_"What I think Chris is trying to say is Adam's been in a good emotional place for the first time in awhile," Jay said, repeating his previous beginning without the dig to his friend. "Maybe the reason has something to do with you, but he does seem happy."_

_"Thanks guys," I murmured, nodding with a small smile on my lips. _

_I knew that when Amy and Adam split up the relationships that many of us shared with their infidelity, it would be hard to get things back to the way they were. Adam and Matt's relationship could never be salvaged. I still held out hope that they would be friends again, but to the magnitude that they were - it would never happen. But it was really all of the outliers whom got the most affected. We didn't have anything to do with the love triangle, but our relationship with each other were compromised. I hoped this was the start of mending bonds that should have never been torn._

"You going to be at the show in Delaware on Friday?" Chris asked, as I turned to open the refrigerator door.

_"Yeah," I answered, pulling my tiramisu out and shutting the door once more. "Vince has me booked against Mickie on the house show circuit until Summerslam."_

_"At least, you don't have to have No-DQ matches every night," Chris moaned, leaning his elbows on the countertop, as I cut the dessert. "I swear I still have a kendo stick burn from last Sunday on my back. That damn Punk doesn't know his own strength." _

_"Or maybe the old man just can't take it anymore," Jay teased, coming up to clap his hand hard on Chris's back._

_"I'm only three years older than you, idiot," Chris mused, shrugging off his friends arm. He reached over and took a little of the chocolate syrup from a bowl I had used to drizzle on the dessert and smeared it across Jay's cheek. "And I still could kick your ass any day."_

_"Sure you could, pops," Jay retorted, taking some the syrup for himself and wiping it across Chris's brow._

_"Alright, you two," I said, moving my dessert out of the way before they got any ideas. "Maybe you should go back and sit down."_

_I turned to look at them and didn't like what I saw in their eyes. Before I could protest, Chris and Jay pulled me to them. They each reached down and got some chocolate on their index fingers before both smearing a curved line down my cheek and on my forehead. I pushed them away and looked at myself in the reflective surface of a hanging brass pot._

_I smiled when I saw what they drawn: a large heart._

"You didn't _find out_ about us: we told you."

Chris just shook his head and mumbled something under his breath. I shoved him on the side slightly, mindful that he was driving. He responded in kind, and I had to grin. Chris and I were not the closest of friends. Unlike Jay whom I did have a friendship with before the schism that tore the group apart, Chris was more of just an acquaintance from work. Yet after that night, we grew closer, especially since we were on the same brand. I still thought of him as more of Adam's confidante, but knew that he would have my best interests at heart as well.

_"If everything could ever feel this real forever...  
If anything could ever be this good again..."_

A smile graced my lips as I hastily pulled my phone from my purse, knowing exactly whom that ringtone belonged to. I stared at the picture that flashed up with the ID and melted. Dave Grohl's voice continued to blare throughout the car, and I could only wonder had it really only been half a day since I saw him last? And why did I feel so empty without him?

"Hi!"

I couldn't believe how overly eager I sounded. It did not get lost on my companion who started to chuckle and mumble something about Adam under his breath. I smacked him on the shoulder, but it did little to cease his mirth.

"Hi baby. You make it to the arena yet?"

Just hearing his voice made my heart flutter. I tried not to make any outward sign of being affected, as I knew my observant companion would pick up on it. I didn't want him to have anything to hold over me.

"No, we got off to a late start," I muttered, remembering my disappointing morning.

I barley could recall Adam leaving for the airport, as I was too tired to be stirred out of sleep. After I finally rolled out of bed and got myself together, I called Melina to see if she still wanted to meet up for breakfast as we had planned. She agreed, but when I met her in her hotel room, I had to listen to an hour long lovers spat between herself and John. Melina tried to put me in the middle, which made my mood dwindle even more. I hated drama just as much as I hated gossip.

After finally realizing that my morning plans were shot, I called Chris to see if I could bum a ride to Tucson. I had planned on traveling with the aforementioned couple, but after that _lovely display of affection_ I had to witness, I wanted to be as far away from them as possible. There was really just one problem with my current driver..._  
_  
"Even so, Chris doesn't understand the meaning of _leadfoot_," I grumbled into the phone.

"Hey," Chris exclaimed, taking slight offense to my critique of his driving.

"Trust me, better Chris than driving with Jay," Adam responded with a laugh. "You'd make it to Raw by the time the Smackdown taping starts tomorrow."

"He isn't _that _bad," I replied, coming to the aid of the TNA wrestler. Adam just chuckled in reply, knowing that I was understating his driving competency. "So... what did the doctor say?"

"All clear... well, as good as it can get," he muttered and I could tell was smiling. His body would never be fully healed from all of the injuries he had suffered, but it wasn't going to stop him from getting back to doing the thing he loved. "The doc just needs to send the reports to Vince and then we can discuss my return."

"That's great," I said, not able to fight the huge smile that graced my lips. "You'll be back before you know it."

"I'll be back _with you_ before you know it," he replied, turning my own words on me. The tone he used - it made me shiver. What was happening to me? "Shit, I gotta go now, babe. I'll call you when I get back to the house."

"Ok, handsome," I said, slightly frowning. I didn't want to lose the sound of his voice ringing in my ears. I quickly spared a glance at the man next to me before whisper a final declaration into the receiver. "I miss you."

"I miss you too, baby," he replied, his soothing baritone washing over me. "Kick ass tonight."

The call ended and tried my best to keep my lover's grin to a minimum. I knew that I was doing a piss poor job of it, especially when I heard a snort of laughter come from the driver's side of the car.

"Yeah - you _aren't_ in love," Chris murmured sarcastically, prompting me to whack him once more on his arm.

"Shut it Chris," I muttered, but he just continued to laugh at my lovesick demeanor.

Silence pervaded the car after a final glare to the still amused Canadian. I didn't understand what the big deal was. So I had feelings for Adam... it wasn't love yet. I wasn't even sure what that meant anyway. Before my mind got too caught up in my emotional entanglement, my phone vibrated and beeped in my hand. I looked down and smiled: _New Message from Adam._

I opened the message and had to smile. Along with the text - _Can't wait to see you! XOXO Adam _- he sent a picture of him holding up a paper that read 'I miss you!'. Even with the grizzly man beard, I knew that this was now going to become the image on my phone's background. It was so personal... so touching... so...

"Yeah, you love him."


	7. Chapter 7

**Ok so here's the deal. I start school Tuesday which means I start my program. I go everyday Monday through Friday until about 1. I work also but my hours fluctuate so I can work 18 one week and 34 the next its very off kilter. I will be writing in my spare time. I'm also starting a new story even though I have about 5 going and at least 3 not up yet. This new one is a Christian story. I'm excited about it. It's going to be a little different though.**

**So thank you to all who have read and reviewed. I cant thank you enough…**

**The lyrics in this chapter belong to "****Dazed and Confused"**** and "****What Is and What Should Never Be" By Led Zepplin**

**Thank you to Rated-R-For-Randomness for beating(?) this chapter. I really appreciate it.**

**Disclaimer:I own nothing except my OC and general idea.**

Monday November 3, 2008  
Tampa, Florida - 4:18 PM  
St. Pete Times Forum

_Eight hundred episodes..._

A big accomplishment in the world of television entertainment and one that Vince McMahon was looking to exploit. Monday Night Raw was going to be celebrating its eight hundredth episode tonight with a three hour broadcast. Superstars and Divas from all three rosters were coming together to put on a show that was going to be more of a showcase of talent than actual storyline driven plot. Since Survivor Series was still a few weeks away, it wasn't that big of a deal that no progression would be made... not like the Divas had many storylines to begin with.

Beth seemed to be the only Diva on the Raw brand with any real direction. She was paired up with Santino and they had some semblance of a storyline. The rest of us... we were just waiting for a chance to take the belt from her. That was pretty much all of the character progression we were given and with the Smackdown Divas constantly being on Raw, it was hard to really stand out. I was constantly confused about who was on what brand. I had even forgotten that Michelle and I were not even on the same brand anymore... but that was more or less because she was _always around_.

Just like tonight... I scoffed when I saw the script. I know that it was supposed to be a celebration and all, but a sixteen Diva tag match? That was just ludicrous. And we were only given a few minutes. Our entrances to the ring were probably going to be longer than the match (even though all of the face Divas were coming out to Mickie's entrance theme with the heels being already in the ring). But the real kicker was the fact that the Diva whom was getting the most in-ring action was... _Mae Young_. Yeah, that is _exactly_ what Vince thought about the current state of the WWE Divas. Being one of the only Divas left whom took part in the end of the Attitude era, I was constantly frustrated.

But I wasn't going to let any of that get me down. I had already shown up to the arena late because of some media commitments. I couldn't even really remember anything of what I said in my interviews. I knew that I was supposed to be commenting on tonight's historic broadcast, but it would be a miracle if I even made sense. My mind was so distracted. I had not seen Adam since last Monday, and even that I barley remembered. I was going to visit him, but had to get ready for the WWE's European tour that was set to begin on Wednesday. I had to pack two weeks' worth of clothes, personal items, and wrestling attire before coming to the show tonight. Easier said than done, especially when the company only wanted talent to bring two bags on overseas trips. Adam said he would come to help, but I figured it was best if he stayed away from everything Cameron at the moment. Not like I had even heard or seen from anyone from the area since last week, but better safe than sorry.

At least I would have tonight to spend with him... _one night_. Both rosters then headed out from the airport tomorrow afternoon for Europe. The Raw brand was headed to Germany and the Smackdown/ECW brands to France. Two weeks abroad and away from my Canadian... _my Canadian? _There were "those" thoughts again. They had never left my mind since my discussion with Chris last week. I had yet to ask Adam exactly the extent of our relationship, but it was hard question to pose. I didn't want to come across non-committal, but didn't want to seem as if I was a certifiable ball and chain. I didn't even really know what I wanted, just that being with him _felt right_. Was it love? I was unsure.

Just thinking of Adam brought a small smile to my lips. I knew that he was around the arena somewhere. Even though he had yet to return from "injury", he was visiting as the taping was just a little way from his house. Management didn't mind, even though they sometimes frowned upon inactive talent being around for live Raw tapings. Pay-per-views: sure... but Raw was Vince's brainchild and he needed everything to go perfectly. Any distraction proved a chance to foil that ideal he set out to achieve. Yet I knew it wasn't going to be strictly enforced tonight as a certain West Newbury native was also hanging about. Still, Adam wouldn't want to draw much attention to himself. I figured he was probably with Chris in the Superstar locker room for the night. Divas really weren't supposed to go in the male locker room, especially when all of the brands were together, but...

"That is hilarious, 'Chelle."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes as I looked over across the way. Michelle was sitting in the corner talking with some of her Smackdown "friends" and showing off her Barbie belt. Okay, maybe it was just _sitting on her lap_... but it wasn't like she even needed it out. Her laughter was getting on my last nerve and I didn't have Melina to talk me down. She decided to stay in Los Angeles for the week and continue her rehab, even though she was really close to returning. I got along with most of the Divas, but on a combined brand night, I knew that Michelle would rule all. Many of the young girls mistook her prominence in the company for actual talent and standing. It was more or less because of the person she was fucking.

I grabbed my purse and waived to a few of the girls before exiting the room. I still had a few hours before I needed to get ready. The Divas match wasn't scheduled until around nine thirty. No sense getting in my uncomfortable ring attire before the last moment, especially when I would be doing little more than just standing around and watching an eighty-five year old woman do most of the work. I laughed disbelievingly under my breath. I couldn't see myself continuing to wrestle for a decade more - over fifty years seemed absolutely unfathomable.

But just thinking about the end of my in-ring career brought me back to my present situation. Would Adam and I work away from a WWE ring? Did we really have more in common than just our occupation? I believed so. We had been friends years ago and it was more than just a love of TLC matches that kept that strong. But a romantic entanglement - that was a whole different story. It all came back to the central snag of defining what Adam and I really were. We were a couple in a sense, but never _really_ dated (not in the conventional sense anyway). We spent so much time on the road and doing what we loved that there was little time for anything but stolen moments and restless nights.

Our only _real _date was our first one. Reservations, concert tickets... even though I didn't realize it at the time, that was our one sense of normalcy. We were just two people having a great time in each other's company. And that night... that night I would never forget. Even though I was still in a slight alcoholic haze, I remembered every breath, every touch. It was months ago, but seemed like it was only yesterday in my mind. I was so lost in my own blissful thoughts that I didn't sense that I was falling, until an arm reached out to steady me. I didn't even need to gaze upon his eyes; the tattooed arms gave him away. Yet when I did look into his cerulean irises, they blazed down at me with a fury I had not seen in years.

The Deadman was livid.

..**.**

_Saturday April 19, 2008  
Tampa, Florida - 1:38 AM  
Adam's House_

"...like you to turn away,  
From all the bullshit I can't take.  
It's not like me to walk away.  
I'm so addicted to all the things you do,  
When you're going down on..."

_Adam cut the engine as we pulled into the driveway, silencing the suggestive Saving Abel song that was emanating from the speakers of his jeep. It seemed like the whole ride back from the concert was full of bawdy lyrics that kept my mind on only one thing. Yet since our slight passionate entanglement during the final song of LIVE's set, neither of us hardly spoke a word. Everything just felt awkward and uncomfortable between us. My mind and body were working on two different cycles at the moment._

_I couldn't understand why. The kiss... well, _kisses _that we shared were nothing short of firework-inducing. I hadn't felt that much from one kiss in such a long time. But now, all of the passion had turned stagnant and we were lucky that we had the radio to keep us company... even if the music did little to quell my body's amorous mood._

_Opening the doors of the jeep, we both exited as an uncomfortable silence fell over us. I looked over at him as we walked up to the entranceway of his house. He was looking my way, but averted his gaze when my eyes fell upon him. I sighed softly as he unlocked the door, holding it open to let me through first. I purposely rubbed up against him as I passed and felt him slightly stiffen. He was the one who initialed the kiss, wasn't he? It sure didn't seem like it from the way he was acting. _

_He flipped on the light and headed down the hallway. I watched him walk, admiring the view. Was I really ready for this? Hell, I had meaningless relationships before that were based solely on physical attraction... but this was different. This was Adam Copeland - a man that I was beginning to mend a friendship with. I would think that anything of a sexual nature would just blur the lines even more. We were no longer enemies, but could we jump right into being lovers... or at least sexual partners? It seemed to be a sure sign of disaster, but that didn't mean I wasn't considering it._

_I slowly followed his trail and leaned against the entranceway to his kitchen. Even though he flipped on the hallway light, the kitchen was still quite dark. Yet Adam was framed in the glow of the refrigerator's interior light. I chuckled softly as I saw him pull out the bowl of cookie dough that I had prepared earlier. I was planning on making chocolate chip cookies for him before the concert, but fell asleep. It seemed like he was still craving his favorite sugary treat, even if it was in a less than baked form._

"_Didn't you have enough to eat earlier?" I asked cheekily, watching as he pulled the plastic wrap from the top of the bowl._

_"I'm a big boy, beautiful," Adam answered with a grin, as he brought his finger down into the cold dough. "I need more than those tapas to satisfy me."_

_The flirtatious nature of our 'date' took over us once again and I breathed an inward sigh of relief. I watched as he brought his finger up to his mouth for it was now covered in calorific goodness. He made a show of opening his mouth and suckling his finger clean. I felt my thighs clench as I watched his performance, his eyes never leaving my own. His finger returned from the warm cavern of his mouth, clean of all the dough. It glistened in the faint light of the still-open refrigerator and I had to fight the urge to walk over there and take the appendage in my own mouth._

"_A big boy, huh?" I replied flirtatiously, slowly walking over to him, throwing his words back at him. He observed me with a curious grin as I made my way to his side. I let my own finger slide through the dough, even though my eyes never left the green irises hovering above me. "Baby, I'd say you were all man."_

_I brought the finger closer to my lips, but he reached out and grasped my wrist. He guided my finger to his mouth and sucked the coating of dough from my flesh. Feeling his wet tongue slide along my skin caused my eyes to become heavy with lust. This heated flirtation was having a real effect on me, and hoped I wasn't alone._

_I pulled my finger from his mouth, lingering slightly on his kissable lips. They soon perked up into a smirk as he reached down, covered the bowl once more, and turned to place it back on the glass shelf inside the refrigerator. I watched as he grabbed two bottles of water from a side compartment before turning back to me, closing the door with a slight kick from his leg. The room darkened with the light source having been snuffed out, but I could still make out the chiseled features of his face from the slight glow of the hallway light. He placed the cold bottle in my hand, immediately cooling my burning flesh._

_I looked down at the bottle and tried to think of what to say. There were no words to really describe what I was feeling at the moment... well, besides conflicted. I didn't want to screw up a friendship with something that couldn't be. There was no way that Adam and I could be anything more than friends without things becoming difficult. My friends would never understand. I was too lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice when Adam grasped my free hand in his own and pulled me toward the hallway._

_I stumbled slightly, but regained enough composure that he didn't even notice. He pulled me behind him as he left the room and headed further down the hallway to his room. Butterflies began to stir in my stomach and I gripped the cold bottle tighter in my fist. He pushed the ajar door fully open with his arm, leading me into the darkened bedroom. He set his bottle down on a dresser, before reaching over to turn on the overhead light. He adjusted the luminosity so that the room was still thrown into shadows, even more so because all of the windows' blinds were drawn. He walked me over and pushed me down onto a sitting position on a large leather ottoman near his bed. I looked up at him, but he just grinned fervently before turning around to leave the room._

_I kicked off my shoes and carelessly let them fly to the side. I tried to keep myself calm and collected as I awaited Adam's return. I unscrewed the cap off of the bottle and took a long swig of the cold liquid. It did little to stop the heat that I was radiating, but at least it sated my dry throat. I tried my best to think of anything but the man whom was haunting my every thought at the moment, but it was impossible to do. Every synapse in my brain was focused solely on the beguiling Canadian. I leaned back and fell into the overstuffed leather chair behind me, keeping my legs on the ottoman in more of a lying position. _

_A slow bass beat filled the room, causing a shiver to crawl down my spine. I smiled slightly as I recognized the song, as the first few notes from the guitar pierced the cool air in the room. The air-conditioning did little to ease my growing temperature climb, especially as Robert Plant's emotional voice filled the room._

"Been dazed and confused for so long it's not true.  
Wanted a woman, never bargained for you.  
Lots of people talk and few of them know,  
Soul of a woman was created below."

_As the tempo increased with the introduction of the drums and the instantly recognizable guitar riff, Adam reentered the room. His eyes took in my new position and slightly darkened. He came over, pulled my legs up and sat down on the ottoman. He let my legs fall on his lap, as he let his gaze linger on my own. I hazily took another long swig of my water and he slightly shifted as he watched my throat swallow its contents. I took the bottle from my lips, placing both it and its cap on a nearby end table. Silence fell over us, as we let our eyes do the talking, taking in every word that was sung._

"You hurt and abuse tellin' all of your lies.  
Run around sweet baby, Lord how they hypnotize.  
Sweet little baby, I don't know where you've been.  
Gonna love you baby, here I come again."

_Throughout the verse, Adam rubbed his hand up and down my leather clad leg. The material was already sticking to my skin, but this action caused even more heat to emanate. I bit my lip, but knew that I couldn't keep quiet much longer. As soon as Robert Plant finished singing and the guitar kicked in once more, I opened my mouth to speak... except I was cut off when Adam leaned over and pressed his mouth against mine. I groaned low in the back of my throat, even though my body was slightly surprised by his action. Yet it was a welcomed surprise as I quickly relaxed and lifted my arms around his neck, letting my eyes slip shut in utter bliss._

_My lips parted when Adam's tongue ran along their seam. I felt his hands on my hips before I was pulled onto his lap. My eyes slightly opened as I settled on his lap, cautious not to topple us to the floor. Now straddling him, I broke the kiss and grasped his hair as he kissed his way down my neck. _

"Every day I work so hard, bringin' home my hard earned pay."

_His beard rasped my skin as he continued his trail. It was an erotic sensation. He reached the juncture where my neck met my shoulder and bit down. I gasped arching my back, my eyes falling closed once more._

"Try to love you baby, but you push me away."

_He sucked on my bitten flesh slightly, causing me to pull him tight against my chest. The wet heat of his mouth on such a sensitive spot drove me crazy with lust. He growled at my possessive action and raked his stubble across the mark that I knew he left. _

"Don't know where you're goin', only know just where you've been."

_I pulled Adam's mouth back up to mine, tugging on his hair to achieve my goal. My eyes fluttered open as I gazed at his own frenzied irises. Our lips smacked together and I felt Adam's hand slide down to my ass. He slightly smacked at the leather-enclosed flesh before picking me up._

"Sweet little baby, I want you again."

_I wrapped my legs around his waist as he ground our two bodies together. I could feel his arousal against my core and moaned. The guitar ran through hectic chord progressions which mimicked our actions. He walked the few steps to his bed and let me fall on the king-sized mattress. The pillows and bedding were still in disarray from my nap earlier, but we paid it little heed. He stared down at me with a hungry look in his eyes, one that complemented the softer section of the song (complete with breathy groans from Plant)._

_A clap of thunder broke through the soft drum and slight strum of the guitar. I looked away from the burning emotion in Adam's eyes and saw the air-conditioning panel on the wall. I grinned slightly as I pushed up off the mattress, bumping into his side as I made my way over to it. I turned the piece of equipment off, as I wanted the room to feel just like Adam was making me feel. Hearing the rain patter down on the glass enclosed pool area, I walked the few paces over to the blinded glass door and slid it open. The warm Floridian air washed over me as I locked the door in a fully open position. _

_The music had picked up once more as lightening crashed overhead. I turned my head slightly over my shoulder and saw that Adam had moved towards me, but was still a few paces away. The storm raging outside combined with the now warm air inside the room created an electricity that burned hot between us. I turned fully to face him, grinning impishly. As Jimmy Page started his furious guitar solo, I reached down, crossing my arms over my waist and pulled my corset over my head. The rumble of thunder was not heard over the loud music, but felt it in my now bare torso as I slightly swung the garment before letting it fall to the floor. I was now clad in only my black lace bra and black leather pants, a sight that caused Adam to wet his lips._

He strode over to me, coming to stand only a half a pace away His eyes roamed over my newly exposed flesh. He reached out and pulled me to him. I craned my neck and looked up at him, as he brushed his lips along my ear. 

_"You're so fucking beautiful," he murmured, as I felt more than actually heard the words over the cataclysmic sound. Then, he pressed his mouth against mine, just as the guitar soared to new heights. When he tried to coax my lips to part, I pulled back. He pouted playfully, his bottom lip stuck obscenely out. I chuckled as I reached down and pulled his shirt over his head in one swoop. Before he could react, I acted along with the frantic pace of the song and sucked his bottom lip in between my own._

Running my hands over his now exposed chest and stomach, Adam groaned as our kiss quickly became intensely passionate. I brought my arms behind him and when I ran my nails up his back, he growled. He ran his hands up and over my hips onto my ribcage before running his fingers down again over the curve of my ass. He groaned, probably at the fact that it was still encased in leather. He picked me up, walking the few steps backward until his legs hit the bed. He never broke the assault on my lips. 

_He turned slightly and laid me lightly on the bed as the slower, familiar opening riff blared from the speakers, calming the frenzied atmosphere slightly. He slid his hands up along my legs in-time with the intoxicating guitar. His hands went to the zipper on my pants, tugging them down with little effort and throwing them over his shoulder._

I laid before him clad in only my undergarments. He stared down at me, his eyes roaming over my body once more yet this time much more of my creamy flesh was exposed. I didn't shy away from his gaze... I wasn't ashamed of my body in the slightest. Adam continued his visual survey of my body before leaning down and pressing light kisses all over my neck and down my chest. He continued his impassioned assault as the final lines of the song reverberated through the room and our bodies.

"Been dazed and confused for so long, it's not true.  
Wanted a woman, never bargained for you.  
Take it easy baby, let them say what they will.  
Will you tongue wag so much when I send you the bill?"

_Adam reached under me and unhooked my bra, sliding the straps down slowly before pulling it away from my form. The final strains of the song, along with Robert Plant's suggestive groaning vocals, encased us while Adam leaned down so his body was pressed against mine, lips dueling in a fervent kiss. With every groan on the record, Adam bucked against my almost bare form. I gasped at the sensation, reaching around to thread my fingers through his hair._

_With the concluding forceful strum of the guitar, Adam pulled back to lean on his knees. He trailed his fingers down my fully exposed sides to my underwear and he started to slowly tug at them. I aided him in his task by lifting my hips so he could pull them out from under me. But another Zeppelin song floated through the speakers, the opening soft vocals being lightly sung by the man hovering above me as he slowly went about his task. _

"And if I say to you tomorrow, 'Take my hand child, come with me.  
It's to a castle I will take you, where what's to be they say will be."

_When the song's crescendo at the beginning of the chorus started, I leaned up off the mattress, capturing his still singing mouth with my own. I ran my hands over his shoulders and arms down to his wrists. I grasped each one in my own and pulled him down to me, falling against the mattress. I let go of my hold and brought my arms up around his neck, our lips never breaking apart._

When I was satisfied that he would not move away, I brought my arms down and fumbled with his belt. After a few attempts, I was able to unfasten it and unbutton his jeans. The song around us slowed once more and I slowed my actions with it. I looked up at him as I slowly unzipped the denim, giving him some relief from the confines of his jeans. I leisurely pulled them - along with his boxers - down his legs with my hands, using my feet at the end, all the while lightly singing the next verse to him.

"And if you say to me tomorrow, oh what fun it all would be.  
Then what's to stop us, pretty baby, but what is and what should never be."

_The resumed fast tempo of the song sped up our actions as Adam kicked the jeans the rest of the way off his ankles. He pressed a wet kiss to the corner of my mouth as our fully nude bodies touched for the first time. Hard met soft now fully exposed and we both groaned at the sensation. He pulled his mouth away and leaned back on one elbow to look down at my shimmering flesh as the song once again lulled us to slow our motions. I halted his trail and reached up, cupping his chin so his gaze fell on my own._

Adam stared down into my eyes as he reached for my leg, pulling it out and wrapping it around his waist. He then lightly ran his fingers over my center, making sure I was ready for him, lightly tapping along with the slow drum beat as he went. I knew I was more than ready and his glistening fingers satisfied him. He slowly guided himself into me, moving slowly with every thrust. The music picked up pace and I protested the still hesitant movement from my lover. His response was to press his mouth against mine and thrust into me quite hard, causing my mouth to break away from his with a loud cry.

We continued to follow the tempo of the songs coming through the speakers. When they would move fast, we would rut against each other so quick I was sure we would break through the mattress. When they would slow down, so would we, teasing each other with little movement and tender kisses. By the middle of the song 'Heartbreaker', I was close and I could feel he was too as well. His thrusts became more frenzied and much more strong. He kissed me harder, our tongues clashing as we both hurled into our climax as Jimmy Page was coming down from his guitar solo. I arched my back, breaking free of his mouth, a high pitched shriek coming from my mouth. He growled deep in his throat as he thrust through his climax, then dropping down onto me.

He stayed like that - pressed into my chest - as we caught our breath, panting in the afterglow of what had transpired. I didn't mind the slight weight on me... it allowed me to breathe him in. Yet before I could get too lost in the sensation, the song died with a quick last note and Adam rolled to his side. As soon as he settled himself, he pulled me onto his chest. I could feel the exhaustion that radiated from his body even though his heart still frantically beat away. I grinned and pressed a light kiss to the skin above the pumping organ, earning a hoarse groan from my companion. I let my eyes flutter shut, completely sated and happily letting sleep overtake me.

..**.**

My arm was beginning to throb as Mark would not let go. His eyes continued to bore into my own, as if he was trying to paralyze me into submission like he may do in the ring. I was not affected by his Taker-like behavior and just stared up at him indifferently. I had an idea of what had gotten his ire up, but didn't feel like dealing with him at the moment. All I really wanted to do was be with Adam for the short time we had.

I realized that Mark would not back down, but I was able to shake my arm free. With a sigh, I tried to push past, but just found myself spun back around and pressed against the concrete wall. That got my attention and I shook my head in frustration.

"What do you want, Mark?" I asked in an annoyed tone.

"Is it true?"

His low grumble was not an answer to my question, but one of his own. I pretty much knew what he was getting at, but didn't want to give him the satisfaction. I just raised my brow and gave him a look as if he should specify what it was I was to verify. He growled low in his throat, obviously irritated by my own frustrating behavior.

"Are you fucking Copeland?"

Mark was never one to truly dance around a question, so I couldn't say I was truly surprised by the bluntness of the statement. Yet it didn't make me feel any less angered at him. I ripped my arm away from his hold and pushed back on his chest. Free from his grasp, I walked a few paces away trying to keep my incensed thoughts in check. He really had no right to request information about my relationship. It wasn't like I cared about him and Michelle. What we did in our personal lives should not matter to the other any more... even though the blonde could bother me to no end.

"Not that it's any of your fucking business, but _Adam_ and I are seeing each other and have been for quite some time," I replied as evenly as I could while making a concentrated effort to stress my boyfriend's name.

He shook his head as I glared at him, unsure of why he should care about me and Adam. We didn't need his permission to date. It wasn't like he even came to me and told me about his relationship with Michelle. I just sort of found out. Sure I was mad, but knew that we really weren't progressing in our relationship (if that is what you could call it). If he wanted to start something new with someone else, by all means... I just didn't understand why it had to be her.

"And _yes_," I continued in a sickeningly sweet tone. "We fuck every chance we get."

He closed the small distance between us, eyes blazing and nostrils flared_. Hey - he had asked_. If he wanted to be blunt with his questions, I would be with my answers. I had had enough of hiding from everyone. I already had severed ties with my Carolina friends, even though I was optimistic things could change in time. Yet it seemed that everyone from my past did not want to see me happy with Adam... and I couldn't understand why.

"I don't like it," he grumbled, reaching out to try and grab my wrist.

"I don't give a shit if you _don't like it_," I retorted, slapping his descending arm away. "Plus, I never asked you. What, and more importantly, _who_ I do isn't any of your concern."

I could tell that he did not like me standing up for my relationship in this manner. He knew of my emotional problems. He knew that I was wary of actual committed entanglements. And it seemed to infuriate him that I was willing to try something new with Adam - to try and actually be a couple.

"What is it, Mark?" I asked, a small smirk spreading on my lips. "You don't want me, but no one else can have me either?"

He opened his mouth to reply, but I pushed on his chest once more. I shook my head and laughed bitterly, causing any reply he had to die in his throat.

"Bullshit!" I vented, still processing his seemingly possessive behavior. I wasn't something he could call _his _anymore. "Go back to your little girlfriend and leave me alone."

I laughed under my breath before rounding the corner and continuing on my way. I didn't spare Mark another glance and tried to return my thoughts to a certain Canadian.

"Jealous?"

It seemed as if Mark was not done. I turned over my shoulder and saw him leaning on the wall next to the corner intersection. He had a smug look on his dark features, one I knew that I needed to wipe away. I laughed once more, the smirk returning to my lips.

"Of _her_?" I asked, refusing to even say the blonde's name. He hadn't really done Adam the same courtesy earlier. "Honey, I could _never _be jealous of someone who is having my sloppy seconds."

This time, I didn't give him a chance to reply. Waving him off, I turned my head around and continued in search of the locker room. At least I knew I wouldn't have to deal with Mark in there. He was probably going to find Michelle anyway. Why else would he be heading toward the Divas locker room?

I stumbled upon the locker room door, unsure if I should knock and wait or just go right in. It wasn't like I was a newbie in the company. I knew everyone and was sure that they would have no problem. I still erred on the side of caution and rapped on the door. Yet instead of waiting, I turned the handle and went inside.

"Damn, Ev! What if I'd been naked?"

Ah, yes... nothing like the dulcet tones of Chris Jericho to make my mood improve. I smirked at the blond man as he continued to dig around in his luggage, fully clothed. I quickly scanned the room and saw that no one was in a state of indecency. Adam shot me a quick nod from his bench on the other side of the room, but I turned back to the other blond Canadian.

"Chris, I've _seen you_ naked," I replied with a shake of my head. "It's nothing to brag about."

I heard a few laughs spring up around the room as Chris glowered in response. I shot him a smirk before turning to visit with my boyfriend. As soon as I was within arm's length, Adam reached out and pulled me onto his lap. He pressed a light kiss to my lips, one that I was only too happy to intensify. Before Adam and I could really get lost in our own world, the slam of the door broke us apart. I shimmied off his lap and turned to look at the entrance of the room. No one was there so it must have been someone exiting. I had a very good idea of whom it was, when a certain blue haired high-flyer quickly exited the room.

"Don't rile Chris up, beautiful," Adam stated, trying his best to pull my attention away from the closed door. I turned to him and saw his bright smile. Just that sight slightly healed my pain. "He's already on an ego trip because he's getting the belt back from Dave tonight."

I fell down on the bench next to Adam, staring ahead at the other blond. Chris just smirked and pretended to primp himself.

"So you can lose it to Cena at the pay-per-view?" I stated mockingly, knowing from the script for tonight that Cena was the number one contender for the Boston show. There was no way Chris was leaving with the belt on that night. "Have fun with your _three week_ title reign."

I turned my attention back to my boyfriend at my side. We pressed our foreheads together and I leaned in lightly for another kiss. Yet before our lips could touch, I was struck in the head with a black spandex garment. It fell in my lap and the bedazzled name _"Jericho"_ stared up at me.

"Ew! Chris's trunks!" I groaned, picking them up between two fingers and chucking them back in his direction. I turned to Adam with a small pout on my lips. "The trunks of Chris have soiled me!"

"I really don't like you," Chris murmured in an overly dramatic tone, yet my gaze stayed locked on Adam.

Thoughts began to swirl in my head as I took in his features. His tender gaze made me think of what we were. Was it more than just passion and friendship? Was this truly a budding relationship? I couldn't say. Adam seemed to notice my slight change in spirit, as my thoughts had turned from light-hearted to serious. His smile turned to a slight frown; his eyes dimming in shimmer.

"Everything okay?" he asked, brushing a few stray locks of hair from my eyes.

Such a simple question, but I wasn't really sure how to answer. My life didn't seem necessarily _okay_ at the moment. I still wasn't on speaking terms with some of my closest friends. They couldn't even stand to be in the same room with me (even though I was sure that was because of my little display of affection with my boyfriend). And then there was Mark... his actions still plagued my subconscious thoughts. Yet there was also everything in Adam's world - his close friends, his hobbies, his life... and I seemed to be falling comfortably into it. I was finding happiness, whether those from my past liked it or not.

"It is now"


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi sorry I know its been awhile but I started school and its been really crazy. But here's the next chapter and I'm currently writing the next.**

**Thanks to Rated-R-For-Randomness for betaing this chapter. It wouldn't be half as good as it is now without your help, so thank you for that. **

**Also thanks to those who have reviewed. I really appreciate it. **

**Read, Enjoy and please Review!**

Tuesday November 4, 2008  
Tampa, Florida - 12:49 AM  
Adam's House

I sighed as I stretched out on the lounge chair near Adam's pool. The crescent moon overhead gave off very little light. That coupled with the time of night meant that there was little illumination outside. Barely any houses in the vicinity were lit spreading a calm gloom over the area. The ambience reflected my mood perfectly. At this time tomorrow I would be on a flight to Europe to start the WWE's annual Fall European tour. I was not necessarily looking forward to it this year... especially because of the absence of one Superstar.

Last week, I had hardly seen Adam. I had even missed his birthday. He said that he didn't mind and we could celebrate it another time. I knew that he was used to having important dates missed because of our line of work, but it didn't ease the pain that I felt. I still found it hard to believe, but I was falling for Adam... more and more each day. Neither of us had yet to actually use the word "love" to describe our relationship, yet it was sure heading that way.

Today _(well, yesterday if you want to get technical)_ was stressful. With all of the hubbub surrounding the eight hundredth episode of Raw, I wasn't so sure it was truly a great representation of company. I knew that they wanted to honor the past, but the company also needed to think about the future. But I figured that Vince McMahon knew what he was doing. He had built this empire with pretty much his own two hands.

I heard the glass door slide open, yet didn't turn away from the sliver of a moon overhead. I tried my best to break away from my thoughts about work. I would have enough of it during the two week tour. A few moments later, I felt Adam's fingers lightly tousle my hair. I brought my eyes to his shadowed gaze with a small smile. He gave my lying form a hard, lusty look. While he was on the phone talking with Jay, I had slipped into my shimmering dark grey halter top string bikini. The fabric was silky on my skin and clung to the little flesh that it touched. It was a present from Adam a few months prior when I started spending much more time at his Floridian home. I didn't swim much in Cameron, but at his place in Florida, it was almost an every visit occurrence. He took it upon himself to pick out my attire and I humored him.

"Going for a midnight swim?" he rasped out, his eyes still traversing the length of body.

"I was thinking about it, but was just enjoying the stillness of the night," I answered, stretching once more against the vinyl chair. This time, my stretching wasn't because of some sore muscles, but to see the look on my boyfriend's face as my breasts were slightly pushed up from my new position. The faint moonlight was enough glow for me to notice his irises enflame even more. "Besides, I can see you are enjoying the view."

"I will never get tired of seeing you in that," he murmured, sinking down onto the seat and straddling my form. His lips swooped down upon mine and I did little to resist. He might have disrupted the serenity of the night, but it was a most welcome interruption. Before I could run my tongue along his bottom lip, Adam pulled back with a smirk on his lips. "But I also wouldn't mind seeing you _out_ of it."

"Don't worry, handsome: _you will_," I purred, leaning up to capture his lips once more.

He groaned into my mouth as my tongue was finally able to gain access to his mouth. He tasted of spearmint gum and chocolate chip cookies, a peculiar yet exhilarating combination that just caused me to pick up the fervor of my actions. I wouldn't be able to partake in this for awhile and wanted to cement everything permanently into my memory. His taste, his feel, how I felt pressed against his cotton clad chest... everything was being saved so I could recall it during the lonely nights that were to come.

Yet just as things were about to progress further, as I felt Adam's hand wander under the triangular fabric covering my right breast, we were startled apart by the loud buzzing of my vibrating phone on the ground. I groaned and pushed Adam lightly on his chest before reaching down to grab my cell phone. I pulled it into my view and groaned as soon as I read the ID on the screen. _Mark_... if he thought I was in the mood to talk with him after his earlier attitude problem, he was sadly mistaken. I knew that he most likely wanted to pick up where we left off, but I had more important things on my mind than his jealousy.

"Anything important?" Adam asked, as my eyes were still locked on the phone in front of me.

"No," I replied truthfully, silencing the buzzing device and setting it back on the ground before tugging Adam back toward my lips. He resisted slightly, raising his brow in skepticism about my answer to his question. "It's just Mark."

"Do I even want to ask why he is calling you at almost one in the morning?" he asked with a blithe chuckle. I just shrugged, but could tell from his expression that he wanted more of an answer from me. I couldn't tell if he was jealous or just concerned, but there was something off in his expression.

"We got into a slight disagreement at the Raw taping tonight," I said, as I had yet to tell my boyfriend about my encounter with my ex. I didn't really feel like my drama with the Deadman was anything that really concerned him, but I could see he felt otherwise.

"How slight?" he asked, pursing his lips. I sighed and pushed him fully off of me so I could rise from the chair. I stared down at him and shook my head. So much for the night being drama-free.

"Just a sharing of some words," I said with a shrug, not really wanting to disclose that he was the center of our disagreement.

"_Everleigh_," Adam posed warningly. Adam never used my full name unless he was serious or irritated. I figured that this time it was a little bit of both of those sentiments. "I know there is something you aren't telling me."

"There are a lot of things I haven't told you," I mumbled, looking away from his shadowed eyes and toward the stagnant pool water nearby.

Communication was never something that Adam and I had problem with, but he never really tried to delve deep into my past. I was quite content with that as it kept our relationship light and not as stressful. Yet I knew if we were to progress into something deeper - something resembling _love_ - things would have to change.

"I am going to be rejoining the Smackdown brand in a few weeks and I would like to know just exactly what I am walking into," Adam stated evenly, as I continued to watch the diminutive glow of the moon reflect on the water. I kept quiet as I heard him rise from the chair and come to stand next to me. He reached out, cupped my chin in his hand, and pulled my face to meet his gaze. "Was it about me?"

I looked into his eyes and knew that I couldn't lie to him. I slowly nodded my head, as his hand dropped back to his side. Adam sighed, bringing up his hand once more to ruffle his own hair in frustration. Mark and Adam had a pretty good locker room relationship. They were both respected veterans and took the business seriously. Yet they were also stubborn and set in their ways. I was just happy that Mark seemed entrenched in a feud on Smackdown that was not part of the championship title picture that Adam would be most likely entering. I didn't like the idea of seeing Adam and Mark in the ring with the way things were between us.

"What'd he say?"

Adam's question broke me from my thoughts about his upcoming return. I just shrugged my shoulders and turned back to the water, crossing my arms over my barely covered chest. I didn't want my night to be full of all of the personal bullshit I seemed to be embroiled in. First Matt and Jeff, now Mark... I didn't want to add Adam to the list of challenges in my life. Things were going so well with us and I didn't want any sort of drama to ruin it. I didn't really know if our relationship was stable enough to last.

My relationship with Adam had started off on unstable ground. We were barely even friends when things started falling into place. Even though we didn't really explore our amorous feelings until a few weeks after, Wrestlemania weekend was when everything seemed to change. Being around each other for a full week with all of the events that were scheduled leading up to the big event led to us to truly reconnect. And after the show, well... things became even _more comfortable_ than I could have imagined.

..**.**

_Monday March 31, 2008  
Orlando, Florida - 1:23 AM  
Orlando Airport Marriott Hotel_

_Wrestlemania week was finally over! It was hard to believe, but after only a few hours since the event, that feeling had settled over me. Everyone in the company looked forward to the biggest event of year for our sport, but I was just happy it was over. The past month, I had to constantly relive my past because of the match on the card for the show: a Playboy BunnyMania Lumberjack match which saw myself and Maria face off against Beth Phoenix and Melina. The three Divas I had to work with were not the problem; it was the Playboy angle that began to grate on my nerves._

_I had posed for the magazine in December of 2005, a move that proved fatal for my current romantic relationship at the time. Every year, a Diva was chosen by the company to pose for the magazine. Christy Hemme had already posed for the April cover, but Vince wanted another Diva to pose since she was unhappy and going to be leaving the company. He wanted the WWE Diva/Playmate to still be employed in the coming year to continue to draw in the male demographic. When he offered me the spread, I was unsure if it was something that I wanted on my résumé. I was a wrestler first and foremost, no matter what checkered past I may have had._

_Yet in the end, I couldn't turn it down. My current boyfriend at the time - whom I had been seeing for almost two years - didn't see it that way. He thought that it was just exploitation and didn't want his girlfriend in the magazine. When I told him it wasn't his choice, it pretty much shattered all we had built. Nothing was ever smooth sailing with us to begin with, but this action acted as the final straw. By the time the magazine came out in December, we were no longer a couple._

_This year, I was never sold on the Playboy angle from the beginning. I knew that Maria had posed and Vince wanted to work it into the Divas' match for Wrestlemania. Santino was Maria's on-screen boyfriend and was going to be appalled by her decision to pose for the magazine. It just was too close to my past for me to be okay with participating. Vince understood and slated Candice Michelle as my replacement. Candice had come to Maria's aid in a few matches prompting a tag match to occur between the new Playmate friends and Jillian Hall and Victoria. During the match, Candice shattered her clavicle. There was no way she would be able to participate in the match or any more of the build up to Wrestlemania, which was only two weeks away. Besides myself, there were two more Diva Playmates left in the company: Torrie Wilson and Ashley Massaro. Torrie barely wrestled anymore because of a chronic back injury and Ashley was having familial problems. She was Vince's last resort as she had requested some time off._

_I didn't want to put my boss in a tight spot so I agreed to take over for Candice. But it took some convincing and not from the elder McMahon. It was actually a certain blond haired Canadian who convinced me to do the match. Adam Copeland and I had been slowly mending a fractured friendship. I couldn't believe it myself, but I really enjoyed the company of a man who made my best friend's life a living hell for many months. Adam had matured since the time that I once called him a friend. He was able to show me that my past was nothing to regret or dwell upon, but rise above. It was advice that I needed and resonated in my head throughout the following weeks. Even in the ring tonight, I heard his voice in my head and it helped me get through with a feigned smile on my face._

_The match itself was not a classic Divas' match. We were given a little over five minutes for our match and had practiced only a few spots leading up to the event. Because Wrestlemania was an all week affair, the Marriott hotel in which we stayed was our headquarters. It was totally rented out and security was on high alert. It was our sanctuary and furnished just for the occasion. In the ballrooms of the hotel, three WWE wrestling rings were erected so that the talent could practice some spots before the show. I had watched Adam and Mark practice countless counters to their finishing moves, so that the night of the show they would look seamless. Beth and I had practiced some of our most physical moves for the match as well as Maria learning how to correctly take the Glamslam. That was quite entertaining to watch, but all the work paid off as she finally could take the move without it looking cheap._

_Yet all that preparation didn't prepare us for the actual event. It was a lumberjack match with all of the Divas surrounding the ring. To add to the chaos, rapper Snoop Dogg was serving as the Master of Ceremonies for our match. He was there to put over us faces at the end, as the heel team was going to be getting the victory. Everything during the match seemed to be going well, until the lights in the Citrus Bowl went out. We continued with the match, but the ring was darkened and not all of the fans could see. The end itself was so clustered that it was hard to tell how it played out on the screen. When Snoop Dogg kissed Maria to signal the end of this silly feud, I was just happy that I could go to the back and watch the rest of the show in peace. It was bad enough that I couldn't fully concentrate on Ric's last match as I was preparing for my subsequent bout._

_A knock at my door pulled me from my thoughts about the previous few hours. I looked at the clock: 1:30 AM. I figured that much of the company was probably still celebrating at the hotel bar. Having the whole hotel to ourselves meant that Superstars could get drunk off their asses and not have to worry about it getting to the press. They would all feel it in the morning, but Raw was taking place just down the road... and Wrestlemania only happened once a year. That partying scene wasn't really for me anymore. There was just too much temptation to fall back into old habits._

_I grumbled slightly as I got off of the bed and moved to the door. I peered through the small peep hole and slightly smiled at who I spied behind the wood door. I reached for the handle and pulled the door open, smiling at the tired Rated R Superstar. He gave me a small, drowsy smile as I stepped back to allow him entrance. I wasn't expecting company, but accepted the blond's companionship. I couldn't believe that he was still standing after the match that he had endured just a few hours ago. Twenty-five minutes of constant sparring, counter-attacking, and chaotic motion. I had only been in the ring for five and I was exhausted._

_I watched as Adam dropped his duffle bag on the carpet and slumped down to sit on the mattress, before flopping down on the fluffy white down comforter. He extended his arms as if he was making a "snow angel" in the white fabric before rolling over on his side, his gaze returning to my eyes. I laughed at his actions before sitting down next to his lying form. He reached out and tugged at one of my fleece zip hoodie's dangling strings. It was then that I realized my state of dress... or should I say undress. I was wearing a white and pink striped tank top with a dark pink fitted fleece hoodie, but my lower half was only clothed in a lacy light pink, low-rise hiphugger panty. I was happy that I was sitting, but knew that Adam probably already got an eyeful of my slightly exposed ass._

_I watched as his gaze took in my whole form. I began to grow a little nervous. Weird feelings were bubbling inside of me that I couldn't name. Adam and I were just becoming friends again, but there was something else underneath it. And I could see from his stare that he felt the same. I pushed that far into the back recesses of my mind and hastily grabbed for the room service menu on the nightstand. I needed something to take my mind off of his presence. I tossed the leather bound menu his way, but he just tossed it back into my scantily clad lap._

"Too tired to eat," he mumbled, the first words that either of us had uttered since his arrival.

_"You know that you need something," I replied, imploring him with my eyes. He rose his brow at my statement, but I just continued. "If you don't eat, you won't be able to move come morning."_

_"I already know I won't be able to move," he said with laugh, rolling off his side and to his back. _

_He closed his eyes for a few moments as I looked him up and down. Not out of any lustful feeling, but because I was concerned for his well-being. He had already been out for over four months with a pectoral injury, and I knew that his previous neck injury always left him in lingering pain. I just hoped that he would never push himself beyond his limit. I would be scared at what the consequences would be if he did. I shook my head and couldn't believe my train of thought. Adam and I were barely friends again... I shouldn't be in so deep._

_Adam groaned as he pushed himself into a sitting position. I watched as he winced upon standing and hobbled over to pick up his bag before heading into the bathroom. He wasn't moving like a thirty-three year old, more like an eighty-three year old. I knew that taking bumps in the ring got worse with age. Coupled with his history of injury, I didn't know how Adam could even stand. I heard the shower turn on, and hoped that some warm water would help some of his pain. I also remembered that had a few of my soothing balms packed in my luggage. I wasn't sure if I needed to bring them with me when I packed last week in Cameron, but was glad that I had._

_I opened my bag and pulled out all three tubes of cream. They all were used for different muscular problems, but knew that one of them would surely aid Adam's pain. And even though the Canadian said he didn't need food, I knew better. He was going to be at Raw tomorrow night for Ric's sendoff. Even though he would not need to wrestle, he would need the energy just to move._

_I quickly dialed room service and ordered enough food to probably feed the whole floor of Superstars. Normally, hotels wouldn't be so accommodating to such a late night feast, but they were put on notice that large orders could come in at any time. After a full week of us, they weren't even fazed by my order and said it would be up within the half hour. I sat back down on the mattress and looked over the three tubes of cream as I waited for my companion to finish his shower. Within five minutes, he was hobbling back into the room, clothed in a pair of cotton pajama bottoms and Metallica tee. His wet blond locks stuck to his face and I had to stop myself from staring._

_"You look like you could use some help," I posed as he let his bag fall back to the ground. He rose his brow at my statement, before I showed him the creams on the bed. "I promise that they'll make you feel better."_

_"You do this for all your friends?" Adam posed with a chuckle as he sat down next to me on the bed._

_"No, but none of my friends are as injury prone as you," I joked, leaning over to lightly shove his side. He winced slightly and my face fell. "Damn, I am so sorry."_

_"Ev, I'm fine," he insisted. _

_I pouted at him, picking up one of the tubes and poking him on his bicep. My lip was jutted out obscenely. His gaze went from amused to something else. His irises darkened slightly and I sucked my lip back to its original position. I turned from him and looked down at my hands._

_"I just want to help," I murmured, picking at the label on the tube of cream in my grasp. "Say thanks for getting me a Wrestlemania match."_

_"You had the match before I got involved," he replied with a sigh. "No thanks necessary."_

_"But still..."_

_I turned back to look into his eyes, but my voice died in my throat when I saw him. He had taken his cotton tee off, leaving his slightly damp chest exposed. It wasn't like I never saw him this way. Hell, he wrestled like this. But in this close proximity to me, in such an intimate setting, I was thrown off guard. He smirked at the change in my demeanor before settling back on the bed. Rolling onto his stomach, he crossed his arms underneath his chin, inviting me to help any way I could._

_I was unsure exactly which cream to use but figured that the Arnica montana blend would work the best. The cream was virtually all Arnica montana, with just enough beeswax to bind the cream and give it a smooth texture. This cream was a savior to me when I pulled my back muscle a few months ago and hoped that it would help the wounded blond. The almost pure Arnica would increase the blood flow in the area, removing old blood like forming bruises to bring in some fresh, oxygen rich cells. I picked up the tube of cream and crawled next to his form. I was unsure how to proceed, but figured the best way to really rub it in would be from a closer position. Adam stayed quiet as I straddled his ass and I breathed a sigh of relief._

_I popped the cap open and squeezed a large amount of the white cream into the palm of my hand. I lightly rubbed my hands together and light smell of licorice filled my senses. I brought my hands down on his strong muscular back. and lightly stroked its full expanse. I heard a sharp intake of breath from my companion, but he did nothing else to still my movement. As soon as I had spread a liberal amount of cream over the whole area of skin in front of me, I began to make small palm circles over his lower back. I moved up slowly along one side of his spine and back down again. I repeated the process but on the other side. Soon, all of the cream was massaged into his skin. _

_I squirted a little more of it into my palm and moved to his neck: the cause for much of his pain. I knew that the area was sensitive, but moved his mane of hair away from his skin. I applied the cream to his skin, before using my thumbs to rub in the cream in small circles. I was much more gentle as I didn't want to cause the area any discomfort. As soon as my thumbs massaged all of the white cream into his skin, I sighed. Now, for his front... I flushed slightly just thinking of looking into his eyes as I rubbed him down. Doing his back, I didn't have to deal with that added pressure. I tried my best to regain some composure as I crawled off of his body._

_"Roll over," I murmured, as I squeezed some more of the cream into my palm, trying my best to ignore his movements._

_Adam hesitated, but slowly rolled onto his back. I refused to look into his eyes right away as I shimmied back onto his form. This time my lace-covered center was pressed flush against his own and I could feel his hard cotton covered arousal pressing against me. I had to stifle the moan that threatened to escape, but I didn't want to fuck things up. I couldn't have anything more than friendship with Adam. Besides, his reaction was completely normal in this situation and had nothing to do with me. I knew first hand exactly how arousing a body massage could be._

_I rubbed the cream lightly on his pectoral muscles before going lower down his torso. His abdominals may not have been as defined as some of the other wrestlers in the company, but his physique was close to perfect in my eyes. Not overly muscular like Cena or Orton, but not totally devoid of definition. I stopped my subconscious ogling and rubbed the cream into his pecs. I could feel his breathing underneath my palms. That combined with his hard length pressed so close to my core was driving me to my own form of arousal. _

_I continued the circles down his torso, trying my best to keep my eyes from his gaze. It worked until I had to place my hands on his shoulders. My body was leaning in such a way that I was pressed further on his erection. I couldn't help a small moan from escaping as my eyes locked with the blond's beneath me. His green irises were intense and seemed to glow in the soft light of the room. I could feel him throbbing underneath me, inciting my own body to respond as I felt a wetness begin to settle at the apex of my thighs._

_Neither of us let up on our battle of wills, both pairs of our eyes burning into each other's soul. I couldn't explain it, but it felt right. I swallowed hard, surprised to find some moisture in my mouth. I leaned forward, rubbing harder on his arousal causing Adam to groan low in his throat. The sound was hardly perceivable, but I felt the rumble from my close proximity to his chest. I placed my hands on the mattress on either side of his head, while his hands came up to rest on my hips. He used his grasp to push me hard against his erection and I had to fight the urge to close my eyes in contentment. _

_I leaned down, hovering my lips over his. Was I really doing this? I couldn't do this. The man under me was Adam fucking Copeland. A few weeks of friendship should not make up for a few years of bitter feelings. I knew that I never had a truly personal reason to loathe the man beneath me, but Matt was like a brother to me. He had yet to forgive the Canadian and knew that he wouldn't accept my newfound friendship. How would I ever explain anything more than that?_

_Pushing all of my doubts away, my lips brushed against his. I could feel Adam's fingers tighten on my flesh and my eyelids began to droop shut. Yet before I could fully capture his lips in my own, a harsh knock resounded throughout the room. In shock, I hastily straightened up. What had I almost done? I looked down at Adam and swallowed, knowing that I almost crossed a line I wouldn't be able to return from. I let my lust fall away and got off of Adam. I grabbed a pair of short pink boxers from my bag and pulled them on, hiding any evidence of the wetness that that incident had caused. As I was turned, I had heard Adam rise and enter the bathroom. The door clicked shut and I let out the breath I hadn't realized I had been holding. Nothing was making sense, and I just prayed that everything between us could go back to friendship._

_I answered the door and smiled as the hotel employee pushed in a cart full of caloric goodness. I signed the bill to my room, handed the man a twenty for his service, and let the door fall shut. I took a few deep breaths to help myself fully come down from my arousal, but knew that it was going to be a failing effort. I was worked into a frenzy and would just have to try and hide it the best I could. Whatever moment we almost shared was shattered and couldn't be rekindled. I wasn't sure if I should be grateful or upset._

_I pulled the cart near the bed and flopped down on the mattress. I reached over and pulled a French fry off of a plate, dipped it into the small container of ketchup, and brought it to my lips. Maybe I could carbo-load and get my mind off of my state of lusty excitement? The taste of the salty provision did little to quell my desire, but as I heard the bathroom door open, I knew I had to feign apathy... for both of our sakes._

"_Sorry, I just…needed a minute."_

_Adam's voice only caused my arousal to blaze once more. I reached for another fry and quickly stuffed it into my mouth, keeping my mind off of the still shirtless man who had walked over to the foot of the bed. I tried my best to think of the most disturbing or mundane things to get my mind off of him, but it wasn't working. I was at fault for this and would just have to deal with the effects._

_"Don't worry about it," I muttered with a small nod, reaching over for another ketchup soaked fry. "Would've happened to anyone."_

_Even with that statement, an awkward tension hung over the two of us. Adam continued to just stand at the end of the bed, shifting from foot to foot. He did reach down to pull his tee back over his form. Part of me was relieved, the other part was disappointed. I knew that Adam wasn't going to make a move until I did. I picked up a fry, sans the ketchup this time, and chucked it at him. The greasy fried potato hit him in the chest and fell to his feet. I chuckled and reached for another to throw at my companion. As soon as my fingers grasped it, I found myself pinned to the mattress. Adam leaned down and ate the fry that was held in my fingers and I shuddered. He pulled back and rolled over next to me on the bed._

_"I thought you weren't hungry," I mumbled, calming myself down by reaching for a plate with that contained a large, juicy hamburger. I knew that I would pay for it with a few extra gym sessions, but I needed the calories at the moment._

_I grasped the burger in my hand and lifted it to my lips, trying to block out the gaze of my companion. I was too wound up to look into his sparkling green eyes at the moment. Just as I tasted the first tang of the cooked meat, a loud drumbeat reverberated throughout the room. The instantly recognizable tune continued to sound as I set my burger back on the plate and rolled out of the bed. I grabbed my phone off of the desk and accepted the call._

"_Hello," I muttered, trying my best to not be irritated._

"_Hey! Get your ass down here to celebrate my return."_

_I had figured it was Matt. I hadn't checked the ID, but I only had himself and his brother set under that specific tone. No one else would really fit having "Loaded" as their ring ID, seeing as it was the Hardy Boyz old entrance theme. Matt had returned at the pay-per-view, but not as a true active competitor. He had interfered in a match to cost MVP a chance at the Money in the Bank briefcase. Yet it was the first time he was seen on a WWE broadcast since January when Orton attacked him brutally to distract Jeff. Matt had a few health problems to take care of before he was cleared to wrestle. He was set to make his in-ring return tomorrow._

_Matt must've been downstairs at the bar, and judging by the loud bass beat that was heard through the speaker, the party was still raging. I hoped that he would be in a good enough condition to wrestle tomorrow. This was his first match back and he needed to make a good impression. I pulled the phone away from my ear as Matt yelled something to someone, the music continuing to heighten in sound. I heard a muffled chuckle and turned to find an amused Adam munching on my burger._

_"Hey! That's mine!" I said indignantly, but Adam just laughed some more as he took another bite._

_"You have more than enough food, beautiful," he replied with a grin._

_Any other thought about my burger left and I solely concentrated on his last word. "Beautiful"? I tried my best not to be affected, but knew that he noticed. He smirked slightly before chucking a fry my way, just as I had done not five minutes prior. I opened my mouth to speak, amusement taking over my features, but the loud noise coming from the phone in my grasp startled me. I heard Matt's southern drawl rambling about me coming down and helping him celebrate, but I had enough of this barely coherent conversation._

_"Matt!" I yelled, trying to break his long winded, rambling. It didn't really work, but I decided to just continue my statement, whether he heard me or not. "I'm not coming out. I'm tired and just want to relax and try to get some sleep."_

"You're no fun," Matt stated, sounding somewhat lucid for the first time in the conversation. "I bet if Jeff was here you would come out."

_Just thinking about the personal Hell Jeff had been through the past few weeks sobered me. He had lost all of his personal belongings in the fire that claimed his home. Yet most importantly, he lost his beloved Jack. He needed time to heal and I knew for a fact that my friend would not be out with his brother boozing it up. It was just Matt's tactic to try and get me down. It wasn't working._

"_If Jeff was here I would still be in my room relaxing except he would be with me," I replied, trying to reason with him. _

_Yet before I could get another word out, I heard all of the sound die from my speaker. I looked at my phone's screen in shock. Matt had hung up on me. I should've been the one to hang up on him. I heard Adam's laughter and turned to look at him. He just tossed another fry my way. This time, I caught the flying fried potato slice and popped it into my mouth. Setting my phone back on the desk, I crawled back into my position next to Adam on the bed. I watched as he took another big bite of my burger._

_As he chewed, he offered me the slightly eaten sandwich. I looked from the bun to Adam's eyes. He raised his eyebrows before looking down at his extended hand. I sighed and took the burger, bringing it to my lips and taking a bite. His fingers brushed mine as he retook the bun and brought it to his own lips. He took a bite and we both smiled, happy to be sharing more than just some food with each other. We were becoming closer... even if we didn't realize just how close we had become._

..**.**

"I want to know what he said, Ev."

My thoughts about the past dissipated as I felt my arm being tugged away from my chest. I was spun around and now staring right into Adam's eyes. I did not want our only night together for two weeks to end in an argument, so I relented.

"He just voiced his displeasure over our relationship," I said evenly, trying my best to gloss over some of the coarse language that we both used.

"I don't think our affairs are any of his business," Adam replied, letting go of the strong hold that he had on my wrist.

"I know and I told him as much," I said with a shrug.

I could see that Adam was not really willing to let this go. Yet I really didn't have any more answers for him. Mark and I had barely talked and I wasn't in the mood to call him to hear him out. Besides, my thoughts about Wrestlemania night had caused a slight wetness to settle in my core. I was so hot and bothered that whole night, but Adam did not make another move. I knew that I could have and he would have reciprocated in kind, but it just didn't feel right. Not like the moment before we were interrupted. That was the real start of my conflicted feelings about Adam. Before that night, I thought that I only wanted Adam back in my life as a friend. After that night, I could see the possibility of him being something more.

And now... _he was_. I didn't want to waste any of our time together. I knew that I had to do something to get him just as aroused as I was. Thus I moved a few paces from him and reached back to untie the back of the halter top of the bikini. I unclasped the back and let the grey Lycra fall away from my body, tossing it back in the direction of my boyfriend. I took a breath before jumping into the cool water of Adam's pool. The water did little to quell my ardent yearning, but had the desired effect on my body. I came up for air with a sheen of water making my body shimmer in the moonlight, my nipples pebbling on my chest. I gazed heatedly over at Adam. His expression turned from surprise to lusty as he reached down to pull his shirt over his head.

He unbuttoned and pulled down his jeans kicking them off so he was clad only in his now tented boxers. He hastily jumped into the pool, his arms wrapping around my waist as soon as he hit the water. His lips devoured mine, his tongue stabbing into my mouth with a possessive fervor. I moaned and threaded my fingers through his wet locks.

"You know, I bought you that suit to _wear_ in the water, right?" he joked, looking briefly over his shoulder where the piece of grey material was lying.

"For swimming, _yes,_" I mused playfully, tugging him over to the side of the pool before leaning up and placing my lips along the shell of his ear. "But that's _not exactly_ what I had in mind."

My husky tone caused his body to become stiff in my grasp. I moaned as his lips quickly sought mine and began fighting for dominance. I was happy to play a mutual aggressor and was not ready to relinquish control. Our tongues twirled around each other's, our mouths opening obscenely to accommodate such a display of passion. Yet my control slipped as I felt Adam's fingers untie the bow on the right side of my bikini bottom. The material was easily pulled away from my skin and Adam just let it float on the surface. He leaned down, breaking our animalistic kiss and sucked on one of my aroused nipples. I moaned when he tugged on the skin slightly before kissing both of the tops of my breasts.

I reached under the water and pulled his boxers off of his waist. He kicked out of them and I watched in amusement as the fabric floated to the surface. My attention on the garment was short lived as Adam quickly thrust into me. I groaned in shock, but quickly became accustomed to the sensation. He pressed me into the wall of the pool as he drove his body into mine. Our lips became attached to each other's once more, muffling our sounds of passion. The cool water stimulated our bodies even more; cooling our flesh while our passion only grew hotter with each thrust.

By the time I was clenching around Adam, I couldn't see straight. Black dots were floating through my vision as I screamed out his name into the night sky. I rode out my climax, trying my best to remember everything about this moment. How he felt in me, how it felt to be around him, the hungry look that was still in his eyes... I had barely come down from my high when I felt him empty himself into me. It sent off another small sensation in my core, causing me to dig my fingers into his shoulders. He rested his forehead on mine as we both sucked in much needed air. I smiled, sated for the time being. I leaned up to capture his lips in mine, but was stalled before I could reach my destination. Not by Adam's _actions_, but by _three little words_ that came from his lips...

"I love you."


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter. It means a lot.**

**Thanks to RatedRForRandomness for betaing this story without you it wouldn't be half as good as it is.**

**Im doing my best to get these chapters out as soon as possible school is really kicking my ass this semester but I usually write during class as much as I can.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my Character and the genereal Idea**

**Please Please read review and enjoy…**

**Sorry I had to delete it and upload again because FF made a lot of my sentences run together…**

_Friday June 27, 2008  
4:58 PM - Lubbock, Texas: WWE Supershow_

_"So, have you thought more about it?"_

_I inwardly groaned and continued to silently walk down the hallway to the commissary. I was trying my best to forget about the conversation that Candice and I had shared last night. I was slightly inebriated at the time and got a little too gabby with the brunette Diva. The alcohol in my system loosened my lips and I sort of let it slip that I was having romantic problems - that I was attracted to a man that I wasn't sure I could be. Thankfully, his name never came up and Candice was lost in her own tipsy world to make the connection... because it certainly could have been made._

_Adam and I had been tiptoeing around romantic feelings for the past few months. After our amazing night together in April, things became complicated. When the morning came, we had a decision to make. Were we friends or lovers? We really had yet to resolve that conundrum because every time we were alone together... we just forgot about everything around us. I forgot about my friends that still were out for his blood, and he seemingly forgot that I was a woman with a fucked up past that always had a way of appearing and ruining the good things in my life. When we were together, we seemed to fit well. Yet neither of us seemed to be ready to vocally classify our entanglement as a relationship... or even just 'more than friends'._

_"I don't see why you won't go," Candice said casually while I did my best to ignore her existence next to me. "He's a nice guy and I think you'll really like him."_

_I was going to just ignore her once again, but the other Diva flanking me lightly hit my shin with one of her crutches. Melina was injured in a tag match during Raw on Monday. She landed badly and shattered a bone in her heel. The only reason she was still with the roster for a Supershow was because of the pay-per-view on Sunday. She wasn't going to be competing at Night of Champions even before the injury, but all hands were on deck... especially since the Draft was on Monday. Candice, herself, was injured as well, but flew to San Antonio just because of the Draft earlier in the week. Even if you weren't on the active roster, you still could be drafted and were told to attend. It was Vince's way of making the WWE seem like a real organized sports corporation instead of the scripted yet athletic entertainment that we truly were. However, neither Diva was drafted... but I was._

_I was finally free of Michelle on Smackdown and ready to start fresh on Raw. Yet I couldn't be too excited since my departure from the blue brand also meant less time with Adam. The World Heavyweight Champion was a fixture on the brand and not just because he was married to the General Manager. He carried the show on his shoulders and thrived. There was no way he was going to be moved... even though Vince certainly bulked up the brand with the additions of Jeff and Triple H. I wasn't exactly sure what the split would mean for our less than stable relationship._

_"I'm just not interested in dating anyone right now," I said with a sigh, when I realized that I had been silent and lost in my own thoughts much too long._

_My comment earned a scoff from the crutch-wielding Diva hobbling next to me. I turned and shot her a dirty look, as she was the only one to know of my secret personal life and I wanted to keep it that way. I wasn't sure what I really wanted, and was happy to try and figure it out on my own. Some friendly advice is all I could handle at the moment, not romantic introductions with strangers. Besides, neither Candice or Melina were the best of friends with each other. They had an off-screen feud that became the basis of a storyline a year ago and neither Diva was truly passed it. They were friendlier toward each other, but could not be considered close by any stretch of the imagination. _

_"Come on, Mel," Candice goaded, reaching behind me to slap Melina lightly on the shoulder. "Help me out here."_

_Melina sighed, shaking her head at the other Diva's comment. She stopped walking and grasped my arm lightly to halt me as well. I stared at her expression, but couldn't read it. Was it pity... or uncertainty... maybe empathy? I wasn't sure, and didn't like it. She should be on my side... especially over Candice's._

_"What could it hurt to go out and explore your options? " she said with a sheepish smile and shrug. _

_My eyes widened in disbelief, but knew to hide the emotion from my expression as quick as it came. As far as anyone knew, I was a single woman with no romantic attachments. I had to act like one, or the rumor mill known as the WWE locker room would start circulating. That was not a good thing. I started walking again, leaving Melina's rhetorical question hanging in the air._

_With a few more strides, we were at the entranceway to the commissary. From my periphery, I saw Candice itching to open her mouth and continue the discussion. Before she could, I turned to her, reached out and placed my hand lightly over her mouth._

_"Just drop it," I whispered starkly, before dropping my hand and heading to the catering table. _

_I stalked the whole way to the table with a frown on my lips. I was happy to see Candice, as it had been some time since she was on tour because of her clavicle injury, but I couldn't take the constant pestering. I knew that she meant well, and didn't know about my current romantic entanglement, so she couldn't be totally to blame. She just wanted me to find someone... yet she also knew about my hatred of blind dates. I had been on too many in the past that I wished I could forget._

_I grabbed a plate and piled on some random entrées from the aluminum tins. I didn't pay attention to anything I was grabbing, especially when both of my friends came along either side. I grabbed a water bottle and spun around looking around for an empty spot to retreat to. Yet the room was quite packed because of the joined rosters as well as the bulk of unused talent still lingering because of Draft Week._

_My__eyes__scanned__the__area,__but__there__was__no__empty__tables__available.__I__spotted__Matt__and__Jeff__sitting__near__the__back__of__the__room,__but__Michelle__and__a__few__of__the__Smackdown__Divas__were__at__the__table__as__well.__Even__the__Hardys'__presence__couldn't__outweigh__my__dislike__for__the__blonde,__so__I__kept__my__eyes__looking__elsewhere.__I__felt__a__nudge__on__my__arm__and__watched__as__Candice__gestured__to__a__table__in__the__middle__of__the__area.__The__three__of__us__headed__over__before__my__mind__could__process__the__occupants.__Jericho...__Hennigan...__Orton..._Copeland_._

_"Mind if we sit?" Candice asked the quartet as we arrived at the table. _

_The hushed conversation that they were partaking in was halted as they looked us over. My eyes flicked to each man, quickly skirting over a certain blond Canadian's as quick as they arrived. Orton smirked and opened his arm (as the other was enclosed in a black sling), sarcastically greeting us as he kicked out the empty chair next to him. He winked my way and I stifled the urge to smack the smirk off of his lips. I pulled out a chair next to Jericho and sunk into the seat. Candice took the seat next to Orton while Melina hobbled over to her boyfriend at the other end of the circular table._

_The conversation that the male members of the table had been having was not continued. The next few moments were spent with quiet eating among the seven of us. I could feel a few pairs of eyes on my form, but didn't raise my eyes from my plate. I glowered slightly at the array of food that sat in front of me, all mixing together and not looking very appetizing: a small helping of green salad, a few greasy pieces of fried chicken, a scoop of some macaroni connection and a bit of green jell-o. What was I even thinking - oh, that's right: I wasn't. I ran my fork through the salad, trying my best to avoid the jell-o lurking nearby, but knew that there was no way my stomach would allow any of this food into it._

_"So, this guy is a doctor..."_

_I dropped my plastic fork on top of the jell-o and groaned in frustration. I thought that I had made myself clear to Candice that I wasn't interested, but it seemed she had other intentions. I looked from the mess of food on my plate to the giddy eyes of my friend._

_"I'm not interested," I replied shortly, but it did little to halt her from continuing._

_"Just hear me out," Candice said with a sickeningly sweet smile, as I tried my best to ignore the looks from the male contingent of the table. "He's a doctor, a friend of Ken's."_

_I sighed, leaning back in my chair while crossing my arms over my chest. I didn't care if he was a friend of her husband - it wasn't going to change my mind. I caught the amused look of one Legend Killer and sent a glare his way. I didn't want to have this conversation to begin with. Now, in front of the guys, it was becoming even more unbearable... especially when I could feel that a certain World Heavyweight Champion's gaze had yet to leave my form. I just couldn't bring myself to look in his eyes. _

_"He's thirty-five, full tattoo sleeves that are absolutely stunning and just your type.," Candice continued, as she seemingly tried to list off a bunch of attributes that I found attractive in a man. "He has a collection of bad ass cars and vintage Harleys. He's 6'2", muscular... you know, tall dark, and handsome."_

_I rolled my eyes as she had failed to convince me that I needed to go out with this man. A few corny idioms were not going to win me over. I was already quite fond of someone who was turning thirty-five in a few months, had drool-worthy tattoos on his arms, and was tall, blond, and drop dead gorgeous. He didn't need a doctorate degree, because just hearing him talk was enough to brighten up my day. I had to fight the urge to look over at Adam, but knew that now was definitely not the right time... especially since Candice decided to continue on._

_"We have him over all the time at our place and have already told him all about you," she beamed, as I turned to look at her with an indignant look on my face. "He doesn't watch so he had no clue who you were, but seemed really interested." _

_I__heard__Randy__say__something__under__his__breath,__but__bit__my__tongue__to__stop__from__retorting.__I__had__bigger__things__to__deal__with__than__a__sarcastic__jackass.__I__turned__to__look__directly__into__my__friend's__eyes.__I__knew__that__I__needed__to__stop__this__before__it__got__out__of__control.__I__was__not__open__to__this__idea,__nor__would__I__ever__be.__It__wasn't__like__my__heart__was__taken,__but__I__was__still__trying__to__figure__out__what__I__wanted.__And__going__on__blind__dates__with_random friends of friends_was__definitely__not__it._

_"Candice, please..."_

_"Come on, Ev," Candice pouted. "Just one date, please. He is so nice and..."_

_The laughter of the four men at the table halted Candice's words. I looked up and between all four of them. Randy looked the most amused as he mimicked Candice's pleading. John was trying his best to stifle his laughter, especially when his girlfriend elbowed him in the chest. Jericho was responding more to Randy's antics than Candice's speech. And Adam... he seemed to be just trying to blend in, because when my eyes found his, they showed anything but humor._

_"Candice, listen..." I started, my eyes still locked with Adam's slightly dismayed and perplexed green irises. Yet it seemed that she took my lack of attention the wrong way. The injured Diva squealed as she grasped my form and pulled me into a seated hug before popping up from her chair. _

_"You're the best," Candice shrieked as she pulled her phone out from her coat pocket. "I'm going to call and set everything up."_

_"Wait!" I exclaimed, but it was too late as the Diva had already made herself scarce. Even if she had heard me, she paid me no heed as she walked out of the room and headed back down the hallway. I slumped further into my seat, looking across the table at the only other female left in the group with disbelief etched on my features. "What the fuck was that?"_

_"She's a conniving bitch," Melina said with a grin and a shrug. "And you know as well as any that she doesn't give up until she gets her way."_

_"But__still..."__I__started,__shaking__my__head__as__I__tried__to__process__what__had__just__happened.__I__hadn't__agreed__to__any__of__this,__but__it__seemed__like__a__blind__date__was__being__forced__on__me,__and__in__front__of__Adam__-__the__man__who__I__was_sort of_dating.__"What__the__fuck?"_

_"Sorry to say, but you seem to be stuck," Melina said with a laugh at my repeated exclamation of frustration. "It's what you get for being good friends with her."_

_"You could always go in my place?" I mused with a mocking grin. "He probably wouldn't even know the difference."_

_"Um,_hello_?"__John__said__jokingly,__as__he__waved__his__hand__at__me.__"_Boyfriend _sitting__right__over__here."_

_"Not like that has stopped her before," Randy said under his breath, earning a slap across his sling from the perturbed Diva. _

_John__and__Melina's__relationship__was__one__of__the__most__talked__about__in__the__backstage__high__school__environment__of__the__WWE.__It__was__one__of__the__reasons__I__was__so__hesitant__to__really__jump__into__things__with__Adam.__Sure,__there__were_other Hardy reasons_as__well,__but__I__wasn't__ready__for__all__the__hushed__whispers__and__pointed__stares.__John__and__Melina__had__had__an__open__relationship__previously,__one__that__Melina__was__happy__to__exploit.__It__didn't__do__much__for__either__of__their__reputations__backstage,__but__everyone__seemed__to__have__something__they__were__trying__to__live__down._

_"But I don't want to go on a date with anyone," I whined, picking up my fork to flick around a few pieces of lettuce on my plate in frustration._

_"You should go," Randy mused with a smirk. "Maybe you'll get laid and that stick will finally come out of your ass."_

_Two of the other male occupants at the table tried their best to stifle their laughter while I could see the other inwardly seethe in my periphery. I let my plastic fork fly across the table and privately grinned when it hit the Legend Killer on the bridge of his nose._

_"Fuck you, Orton," I seethed through gritted teeth and narrowed eyes, not really wanting to make a scene but needing to stand up for some sense of pride._

_He wasn't even remotely fazed by my plastic attack or comment as he reached down with his good hand and grabbed another potato chip from his bag. He made a show of popping the salty treat in his mouth before crunching it into many pieces, a smug smirk never leaving his lips._

_"Been there, done that," he replied, running his tongue along his lips as if to lick the excess salt away... or put on a faux flirtatious performance._

_Talk about memories I wanted to forget. I closed my eyes for a second as bleary, alcohol-hazed recollections of that night came back to me. It was only one time... a time that I truly wanted to forget. He didn't mean anything to me, and I meant less to him. I was just another Diva on a long list that he had bedded over the years. I wasn't in the best state of mind back then and did things I was not proud of. Randy Orton was definitely one of those things. _

_I kicked the injured Superstar under the table, even though in my mind, I wished I could go over and maybe reinjure his still healing collarbone. The thought brought a small smile to my lips, but quickly faded when I caught Adam's gaze. He didn't seem too pleased with anything that he had heard over the course of my time sitting at the table. I quickly looked away and tried to catch Melina's eye. Yet she was too busy making goo-goo eyes with John to notice. _

_I rose from my seat and walked the short distance around the curve of the table to be at her side. I grasped her arm and pulled her from her seat, taking care of her injured leg. _

_"Talk...__you__and__me..._now_,"__I__said__softly__but__with__intent.__I__didn't__give__her__a__chance__to__answer__as__I__picked__up__her__crutches__and__stuck__them__under__both__of__her__arms.__I__started__to__stalk__out__of__the__room__and__only__stopped__briefly__to__turn__over__my__shoulder__and__glare__one__more__time__at__the__bronzed__third-generation__Superstar.__"Don't__touch__my__food,__Orton."_

_Even__though__I__had__no__intention__on__eating__my__toxic__combination,__I__couldn't__leave__without__having__the__last__word__between__the__two__of__us.__Randy__knew__how__to__get__under__my__skin,__but__I__didn't__want__him__to__think__that__he__intimidated__me__in__the__least.__To__me,__he__was__just__an__immature__brat__that__needed__to__grow__up.__I__am__sure__he__thought__the__same__of__me,__but__at__least__I__was__trying__to__better__myself.__He__was_happy_being__a__pretentious__prick._

_I let all thoughts of the Legend Killer flee my mind when I made it to the hallway with Melina. She leaned up against the cinderblock wall as I paced slightly in front of her. I looked up and down to make sure no one was coming before I vented._

_"What__the__fuck__was__that__shit__in__there?"__I__asked__bitterly.__"I__know__you__and__Candice__aren't__exactly_besties_,__so__why__would__you__take__her__side?"_

_"There are no sides here, and if there were you know I wouldn't take hers," Melina interrupted with as much verve in her tone as my own. "It's just..."_

_"The worst thing is that all of this happened in front of Adam," I continued, starting to pace slightly in front of her once more. "I mean, just seeing the look in his eyes, I..."_

_I__drifted__off__as__an__image__of__Adam's__green__irises__and__the__confusion__that__they__held__flooded__into__my__mind.__At__that__moment,__I__wanted__to__push__Jericho__to__the__side__and__sit__near__him...__tell__him__that__everything__that__was__happening__around__us__was__utter__bullshit.__Yet__deep__in__my__heart,__I__still__felt__that__I__couldn't.__Maybe__I__was__being__selfish,__but__everything__was__functioning__alright__for__once__in__my__life.__I__had__my__friends,__my__passion__for__wrestling,__and__my..._my Adam_.__I__wasn't__exactly__sure__where__our__relationship__was__heading,__but__I__knew__that__I__needed__a__little__more__time__before__anything__was__made__truly__official.__I__knew__it__was__unfair__to__both__of__us,__but__I__had__been__in__too__many__shitty__relationships__in__the__past__to__just__jump__into__another__one.__I__needed__to__feel__it__in__my__heart__that__it__was__right.__I__just__couldn't__shake__that__my__mind__was__already__telling__my__heart__what__to__do__-__that__seeing__Adam__in__so__much__emotional__pain__had__caused__a__synapse__to__fire__off,__telling__me__what__was__right.__What__was__happening__now_definitely_was__not__it._

_"Ev, honey," Melina said cautiously as my attention was still drifting off in my own mind. "I truly wasn't taking Candice's side. I was only saying that maybe it would be good for you to date other people. This hidden relationship-thing that you and Adam have really isn't healthy or fair and..."_

_"Don't__you__think__I__know__that!"__I__vented,__cutting__off__the__injured__Diva__as__I__turned__my__back__to__her.__I__was__trying__my__best__to__keep__my__temper__in__check,__but__after__all__that__had__recently__occurred,__it__was__getting__harder__and__harder__to__do.__"There__is__nothing__I__wouldn't__love__more__than__being__able__to__hold__his__hand__in__public__-__being__able__to__kiss__him__and__call__him__my__boyfriend.__I__would_love_to__have__what__you__and__John__have..._but I can't_."_

_My__declaration__ended__as__a__whisper__as__the__first__few__tears__formed__in__the__corners__of__my__eyes.__I__didn't__want__to__get__too__emotional,__especially__in__front__of__anyone.__Melina__may__have__known__details__about__my__relationship__with__Adam,__but__she__didn't__know__everything__about__my__past.__She__knew_enough,_but__not__about__how__damaged__it__seemed__I__had__become__over__the__years.__For__once,__I__wanted__something__to__work__for__me__and__I__was__scared__to__death__that__this__wouldn't.__If__Adam__and__I__had__a__relationship__like__Melina__and__John,__I__was__petrified__that__cracks__would__begin__to__surface__and__it__would__shatter.__Privately,__I__could__handle__it__and__survive,__but__if__it__was__public,__I__knew__I__would__be__done__for._

_I reached up and tried to wipe the wetness away from my eyes, but Melina had already noticed. She let go of one of her crutches and reached out to pull me directly in front of her. She wrapped her free arm around my neck, pulling my forehead to hers._

_"Maybe this is a sign," Melina whispered. "Maybe going on a date with him will be a blessing in disguise."_

_I__closed__my__eyes__and__pulled__back__slightly.__Her__brown__eyes__looked__at__me__with__compassion.__She__knew__I__was__in__a__difficult__spot.__Yet__maybe__she__was__right.__Maybe__this__date__would__either__get__me__to__realize__that__I__would__never__be__able__to__be__tied__down__or...__that__I__really_, really_wanted__to__be__with__Adam__enough__to__take__a__chance__on__love.__I__nodded__and__was__about__to__respond__when__I__heard__Candice's__voice.__I__pushed__back__fully__from__Melina,__wiping__away__the__remaining__tears__that__had__yet__to__fall._

_"You two get sick of eating with the guys? I don't blame you," Candice said with a giggle. I shook my head but kept quiet, hoping that Melina would do the same. "So it is all set. I gave him your number, so expect a call soon. I figured since you were going to be in LA next week for some media shit that we could have you both over for dinner."_

_"Sounds great," I muttered sarcastically under my breath, even though it didn't stop Candice from continuing on._

_"It'll__give__you__a__chance__to__get__to__know__each__other,"__she__said__with__a__huge__smile__on__display.__She__turned__her__attention__to__Melina.__"You__and__John__are__invited__as__well,__seeing__as...__well,__I__doubt_you_will__be__in__the__ring__for__a__few__months."_

_Candice walked passed both of us and back toward the entrance to the commissary. Thankfully, that action caused her to miss Melina lunging at her with fury in her eyes. I walked over and pushed her back into place with a stern look on my features. I really didn't need any more drama in my life at the moment._

_"You girls coming?" Candice asked, as she leaned against the open door._

_"Be right in," I muttered with a fake smile plastered on my lips. As soon as the brunette disappeared into the commissary, I turned my attention to the still angry Melina. "Please, don't start shit with her."_

_"Did__you__hear__what__she__said__to__me?"__Melina__asked__scathingly.__"If__anyone__is_fragile_,__it__is__her,_Ms. Twice Broken Clavicle_."_

_"She__didn't__call__you_'fragile',_Mel,"__I__said__softly__as__the__two__of__us__started__a__slow__walk__back__inside._

_"It__is__what__she__meant__to__say,"__she__replied__bitterly.__"I__could__tell__from__her__tone.__'_You and John are invited as well'_...__no__way__in__hell__I__am__going__to__any__dinner__party__of__hers."_

_"Even for me?" I asked with a small grin, happy that at least for the moment my mind was on other things._

_"As much as I love you, she is just too much," Melina replied with a sigh. _

_I knew that Melina was still going to go. She would bitch and moan, but in the end would show up. There was too much drama going on for her not to. She would need to have all of the details, and being there firsthand was the best way to get them. I shook my head with a small chuckle and was about to respond when I noticed that we had arrived once more at the table. Candice was animatedly speaking to John about something. Orton was typing away with his good hand on his phone. Jericho was trying to hold a conversation with the other blond Canadian at the table, but was having a bit of a hard time._

_It was because I was Adam's sole focus. I could see his eyes were pleading with my own for some sort of explanation. He was in the dark about everything and I hated myself for it. Yet there was nothing I could say now. I needed to think things through myself before I could even try to explain it to him. I quickly averted my gaze and sat down._

_This was definitely not fair. _

..**.**

Friday November 7, 2008  
11:58 PM - Rome, Italy

"I'll see you in a few hours for breakfast, hun."

I managed a half-hearted wave to Candice as I stuck my key card in the slot and pushed my way into the hotel room. This European tour had just started and I was already looking forward to being back on American soil. We were barely given anytime at the hotel tonight. The whole roster had to be back on the bus and headed to the airport by five in the morning. That meant that after a shower and the normal nightly routine, I would have a chance for maybe two hours of sleep before I needed to wake and get ready to go.

I knew that much of the roster was deciding against sleep._'That__is__what__the__plane__is__for'_ is the last thing I heard from Chris before he and a few others popped into the hotel bar. If he was hung over on the plane, it wasn't going to be _my__shoulder_ he was drooling on. The flight to England wasn't going to be that long and I needed as much sleep as I could get. The past few days afforded me very little relaxation.

I rolled my bags next to the queen size bed before stripping off my dress and heading toward the small bathroom. I reached into the tiled shower and turned it on full blast and blazing hot. I needed something to calm my aching body as well as help me fall asleep. The past few nights on the house show circuit saw myself teaming up with either Mickie or Candice against Beth and Layla. Unlike the matches that were televised, we were given much more time - around ten minutes a match. That was longer than a lot of the other matches on the card. It gave us all a chance to shine and I enjoyed my time in the ring immensely.

It was the time _out__of__it_ that I was having problems with.

My mind was overloaded ever since I left Florida on Tuesday morning. Adam had actually said that he loved me. Those _three__little__words_ that I had been longing for _(and__slightly__dreading)_had fallen from his lips. I could still see his eyes glowing in the moonlight. I could still feel his wet body pressed against mine. I could remember how husky the words sounded... how _amazing_the words sounded.

But I froze.

I didn't know how to respond. That night, I just pulled him in for another soul-searing kiss and tried to move on. But I knew in the depths of my heart that there would be no true moving on from that. There was no way we could go back to the way things were. After everything that had happened the past few weeks, we had to either move forward or break apart. I knew that Adam deserved more than I had given him, but I wasn't ready to let go. And I wasn't ready to fully commit either.

The hot water of the shower did little to ease my mind, but it did wonders for my body. The aches that I felt earlier in the ring all subsided as I massaged my body underneath the heated spray. I closed my eyes and just concentrated on the feeling on my skin. It was beginning to feel so good that my mind conjured up images of a wet blond Canadian as if it were his hands on my skin. I shuddered as a chill ran down my spine even though the water was still scalding hot. I opened my eyes under the drops of water and tried to get the image to leave my mind but to no avail.

I quickly rushed through the rest of my shower, soaping up my hair in record time before letting all the suds wash away down the drain. I jumped out of the shower, shutting off the water and grabbing a towel. I wrapped it around my form and looked toward the mirror. It was clouded over from the steam and I could barely make out a semblance of my reflection. I was glad, as I didn't think I could stomach looking at myself at the moment.

I grabbed another towel and dried my hair as best as I could. I was in no mood to use the dryer and wanted to get into bed as quick as I could. I dropped the now damp towel and headed out of the room. I unzipped my larger suitcase and pulled out a tank and some boy shorts to sleep in. The towel was quickly discarded to the floor as I pulled my clothes into place. I knew that I should continue with my nightly routine, but I just didn't have the energy. One look at the clock - the bright red LED lights blaring out a time of 12:24 AM - and I knew that the bed was calling to me. Sleep was what my body craved. And sleep was what _my__mind__needed_.

I pulled back the ugly comforter and settled on the white sheets below. I grabbed the television remote and hit the power button before turning off the light. The room was thrown into darkness, the faint glow from the Italian news channel on the screen barely giving off any light. I sighed and tossed the remote to the side. It had served its purpose as the television was not for watching at the moment. It was just a faint light to help lull me to sleep, and a needed distraction if my thoughts ever became too hard to handle by myself.

I closed my eyes and settled into the pillow cradling my head. Any time my mind strayed to thoughts about a certain blond, I quickly opened my eyes and looked at the television screen. I couldn't understand a lick of what was being said, but just watching the images was enough to alleviate the other _more__emotional_thoughts. I would never get through the rest of the tour if I let my personal thoughts consume me. It was best to avoid them for the time being. Once I was back in the States I could try and figure out my future. _For__now,__it__was__all__about__my__present__and..._

A buzzing noise startled my thoughts. I groaned and contemplated letting my phone go unanswered. I knew that that could be potentially risky since the call could have something to do with the tour and the traveling. I would hate to miss some pertinent information and have to rush around to make it to the bus on time in the morning. I groaned as I rolled out of the bed and grabbed my handbag from the carpet. I quickly pulled back the flap and stuck my hand in the leather confines of the bag, pulling out the offending device. I glanced down at the ID and immediately regretted my decision.

I stared at the picture of Adam that was emblazoned across the screen. It was the picture that he had sent me a few weeks prior, his dazzling smile standing out even with his grizzly beard taking claim to his chiseled chin. Yet it was the paper he was holding with the words "I Miss You" that really tugged on my heartstrings...so much so that I knew that I couldn't ignore his call.

"Hey," I said softly into the phone, as I slowly made my way back toward the bed.

"Hey baby."

My eyes slightly became moist just from his first few words. I had been dodging his calls ever since the tour began. Thus the last time that I had heard his baritone voice was Tuesday morning when he dropped me off at the airport. It was an awkward morning to say the least, but he never called me out on my lack of response to his declaration of love. He just let it slide, but I knew that I must have hurt some part of his pride.

"Are you alright?" Adam asked after a few moments of silence had stretched out between us. I was far from alright, but I wasn't about to open up to him about it. I didn't even want to admit things to myself.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied sullenly, rolling back into my previous position in the bed. "Just tired."

I silently cursed myself for what I had just said. Telling your boyfriend that you are _"fine"_ always means that something is wrong. Adam had been in too many relationships not to recognize that fact. I really didn't want to have a heart to heart with him when he was thousands of miles away. It would do little for my already dwindling morale. I waited and waited for some sort of question into my mood, but it never came. I looked over at the clock and sighed: _12:45_. I needed to get some sleep or I would never make it to England tomorrow.

"Ad..."

"Is that why you haven't answered your phone the past couple of days?" Adam asked, cutting off my attempt at a farewell. "I don't mean to be a pest or anything but you said you were going to call when you landed in Germany on Tuesday and you never did. I was a little worried."

"I'm sorry," I said softly, apologizing for more than just not calling. "I should have called you."

"I talked to Chris earlier," he said, making me feel even worse than I already did. "He said that the tour schedule is insane this year."

"Yeah, I'm so tired and out of sorts," I whispered as a few tears spilled out of my eyes. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the truth as to why I was avoiding any communication with him. My own fucked up confusion and insecurities were, but at least I had a scapegoat to blame. "Germany to Italy. Italy to England. Not to mention that there are various venues in each country. It's hard to get acclimated to everything."

"I am well aware of that fact," he replied with a chuckle. "It is just hard being away from you for so long, especially knowing all you are going through."

My glassy eyes widened at his last comment. _What__I__was__going__through_... was that his way of telling me that he _understood_the way I was feeling? I couldn't even understand my feelings so how could...

"... with the constant traveling and little time to rest and relax. I wish I could be there for you."

_So__much__for__that__thought_. He was just thinking about the tour. I breathed a sigh of relief and let a few of the tears fall from my eyes. I knew that I could become as much of an outward mess as I wanted as long as I kept my voice steady. I couldn't allow him to know how much emotional turmoil I was in.

"At least you have Jericho," Adam joked, causing a small chuckle to escape my throat.

"If I listened to his advice, I would be downstairs boozing it up with some of the guys," I replied, keeping my voice as level as I possibly could. "Sure you want me to do that?"

"Forget what I said," he replied with a chuckle of his own. Silence stretched out between us.

For some reason, I didn't want to hang up the phone anymore. In a few short moments, he was able to take over my whole being. I knew at that moment that I was being ridiculous. Adam was who I wanted to share my time with. He was the man that I was falling for. I didn't want to break things off with him, but _love?_ It was a word that I didn't take lightly. Maybe once upon a time I did, but not now.

"I miss you."

Adam's whispered words reminded me of the photo that flashed up on my phone when he called. His eyes, his smile... _Adam__Copeland_ was _everything_ that I had been searching for in a man. Our relationship wasn't the easiest one. My friends and I were still not on speaking terms (but thankfully on opposing brands). And I was still unsure if I was true relationship material. Too many bad experiences had turned me cynical. Our light yet still happily committed relationship was perfect for me. Then, my friends discovered the truth and everything seemed to plummet into a tailspin. Adam's declaration of love _should_have buoyed me up into the heights of ecstasy, but the timing just made my mind spin.

"I miss you too," I whispered in reply, silently wishing that things could go back to the way they were.

At one time, I hated the idea of a secret relationship. Now, I wished we could go back to it. Just being able to lie in his arms and not have to worry about the world around us. Ever since our affair became public, only trouble and emotional turmoil had followed.

"I'm going to meet you at the airport when you get back," Adam said, contentment radiating in his voice. "I want to be the first thing you see - well, maybe not the _first__thing_ but close to it - when you return."

"Sounds good babe, but I am flying to Atlanta on Sunday for Raw so... I was thinking of just driving back to Cameron," I replied, revealing a little bit more of my future plans than I really intended.

"Well, I'll meet you in Atlanta on Sunday then," he replied, not losing any optimism from his tone. "I meant what I said. I _want_to be there. We can drive to Cameron together on Tuesday. No reason to hide anymore is there?"

The final comment was said rhetorically but it still stung. He had barely spent any time with me at my home because of our hiding. Still, these plans really weren't what I had in mind. Yet I still had another week in Europe to figure out things. I knew that I would probably need it.

I didn't reply to his comment and just let the silence overtake us once more. In just a few weeks, everything seemed to change between us. Some things seemingly for the better, but _everything_was just lost in the emotional drama. I couldn't function and my body's ragged state wasn't helping matters.

"Are you sure you are alright?" Adam asked, worry making its way into his voice.

"Yeah, just tired," I replied quickly. "I really should try and get some sleep. I have to be up in a few hours."

"Call me when you wake up," he responded slightly somber. "Even if it is only for a few minutes before your flight, please do call."

"I will," I said with a yawn. "I promise."

"Go...sleep," he replied with a chuckle as he could tell that I was fading fast. It seemed as if everything was catching up with me and sleep was what I needed.

"Okay," I mumbled, letting my eyes slip shut. "Bye."

"I love you."

All of my tired feelings subsided when those three words hit my eardrums. My eyes shot open and my grip on my phone tightened. _Not__again_... how could I avoid it this time? _Should__I?_ What could I say? This was _definitely__not__the__time_ to reciprocate those feelings even if I wanted to. Over the phone when we _wouldn't_be seeing each other for another week? I should just hang up the phone... hang up and pretend that I never heard those words once more.

"Adam, I..." My words died in my throat. I wasn't even sure what I wanted to say. I didn't know what to do. "Bye."

I quickly disconnected the call and tossed my phone on the mattress. I shut my eyes which stopped many of the tears from falling. At the moment, I felt a jumble of different emotions, all which threatened to overtake me at any time.

_I__was__tired_ - my body aching and bruised; my mind frazzled to the core and threatening to shut down. _I__was__depressed_ - nothing seemed to be working in my life anymore... all of the things I had come to count on were deteriorating and falling away from me, some of my own making. _I__was__confused_ - my mind and heart were not cooperating and I was left in a jumbled mush. _I__was__lonely_ - I had no real family to turn to, my friends were not speaking with me, and Adam...

Adam was the man I was falling in love with, but scared to really be with. _Why?_ I wasn't really sure. At first, I thought it was all about our past. Both of us had quite colorful histories, some aspects of which neither of us were proud of. Yet now, I was beginning to think that it was a lot more than that. I knew what I felt for Adam, but there was a problem.

I was scared to be in love.


	10. Chapter 10

Sunday November 23, 2008  
3:48 PM - TD Banknorth Garden (Boston, MA)

The arena in Boston was abuzz because of tonight's pay-per-view broadcast. Survivor Series was going to close with the triumphant return of John Cena (from his three month injury leave) taking on World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho. I don't think anyone was going to be surprised with the outcome of _that_ match. Yet it was another return that I was looking forward to... even if it was at the expense of my slightly embittered best friend.

Adam was making his return to the Smackdown brand tonight. The title match for the WWE Championship was set up as a triple threat between champion Triple H and contenders Vladimir Kozlov and Jeff Hardy. Yet WWE decided to pull Jeff from the match and insert a returning Adam in it. The way they were going about it however was rubbing many people backstage the wrong way. The WWE website had announced this morning that Jeff was found unconscious in a Boston hotel stairwell. Already, internet sites were buzzing over if this was fact or fiction because of Jeff's past.

So fiction... but disgusting fiction.

I couldn't believe that the creative team had sunk that low to make the storyline so ambiguous. If they said in their report that he was attacked in the stairwell, that would have been one thing. But this was just playing off people's emotions and feelings for Jeff. I knew that he was backstage and I wanted to talk to him about it, but I just didn't think I could bring myself to. He had yet to try and extend some form of communication to me, even when his brother got hurt on the overseas tour. Matt had injured a ligament in his knee as well as pulling his groin muscle, but I had to hear about it from the online wrestling sites instead of my friends. It just showed how deep bonded friendships could disintegrate in a blink of an eye.

_Adam..._ the reason for the schism between me and my friends. Yet the past few weeks, there had been a self imposed one between the two of us as well. I was overseas and trying my best to sort through my true feelings for the man by myself. No matter how many times Chris blithely begged me to open up and talk to him, I was best on my own, especially since I knew every word I said would be reported back to my blond in the States. Yet after the two weeks, I was more confused than ever.

After the European tour from Hell, I was finally given five days off just to relax and unwind. Raw in Atlanta was uneventful and my days in Cameron were spent mostly in bed recuperating. Physical and mental stress had taken a huge toll on my body. Lying in my own bed did my body wonders and I was able to sleep hour after hour while I could barely get one while in Europe.

The one thing missing from my week was Adam. I was able to convince him, how I'll never know, to not come to Atlanta to meet me when I landed. It was a hard sell, but I think he knew that I needed my space. After all I had been through the past month, he was smart to give it to me. Even so, he wasn't very happy about it. I told him that I was too tired to be good company and just wanted to be alone. After a lot of complaining, grumbling, and me promising that I would make it up to him, he relented.

I had just arrived at the arena a few minutes ago and checked in with the rest of the Divas in the locker room. Tonight we had a five on five traditional Survivor Series match - Team Raw versus Team Smackdown. I had to put my excitement that I would get to throw around Michelle in the ring to the side... because I was more excited about seeing my own blond once again. Even though I needed some time to myself, it only made me miss him that much more. I needed to see him... to touch him and hold him in my arms.

I had left the Diva's locker room almost as soon as I arrived to go and search for him. I didn't have a clue of what I would say to him; it had been a few days since we had really spoken. Yet I knew I would think of something. Besides, my mouth was looking to do more than _just talk_ with him. I made my way to catering, waving at a slightly agitated Stephanie McMahon as she walked past. Day of a pay-per-view: _definitely the most stressful time of the month._

As I walked into the catering area, my arm was grabbed from behind and I was whipped around. I tried the best to temper my anger, but knew that it was hopeless. I pushed back at whomever had the mettle to grab me like that.

"Long time no see."

All of the anger drained from me as the voice stopped me cold. I looked up into derisive hazel irises that I knew matched my own. The anger was beginning to build once more little by little the more I stared and the more she glowered.

Amy...

..**.**

_Sunday December 16, 2007__  
__11:58 PM - Mellon Arena (Pittsburgh, PA)_

_I groaned as I pushed open the heavy locker room door and entered the abandoned arena hallway. Even though I was not on the card for the pay-per-view tonight, I still needed to attend. I was given the opportunity - _aka told by Vince that I had to_ - to live chat on the website during the show. As much as I loved the WWE fans, it was hell. I just wanted to watch the show in peace, but instead, had to type every few moments about my thoughts of the action or answer questions that were either ridiculously stupid or banal. _How does it feel to be a WWE Diva? Who was your role model? Isn't Jeff Hardy hot?

_What a great night..._

_I had to hope that Melina waited for me. Even though, like me, she was not on the card, she had come to the show in support of John. They were trying their best to get their relationship back to where it once was after many months of estrangement and anger. She was doing everything she could to show John that she was finally ready to fully commit to just him, and wanted to show him any way she could._

_I quickly pulled my luggage behind me as I rushed down the hallway. I had my cell phone in my other hand, scrolling through my contacts trying to find Melina's entry. I made it close to the end of the hallway when I crashed into something hard. My phone skidded across the linoleum floor. My bag stopped short in my grasp and fell to the ground. And I stumbled backwards, tripping over the now lying bag, and fell to the floor, smacking my head against the hard, unforgiving cinderblock wall._

_"Fuck!"_

_The voice sounded somewhat familiar, but I was still trying my best to keep from blacking out to truly place it. I opened my eyes, but everything was blurred and double. I blinked them open and shut a few times, but it only did a little to help. I tried to situate myself better on ground, yet it just made the fuzziness worse. I felt a hand on my shoulder and subconsciously shuddered, trying to push it off. The light pressure did not let up._

_"Are you alright?"_

_Now, I was able to place the voice and I instantly relaxed. At least it wasn't a total stranger. I shook my head slightly, but it did more harm to my throbbing head. I groaned and tried to slump over, but was quickly held in a sitting position._

_"Okay, I know this going to sound ridiculous, but can you tell me your name?"_

_I whipped my head around to look at him, but once again, only felt worse for it. I opened my eyes and looked at the concerned man squatting nearby, his hand still lightly perched on my shoulder. My eyes could focus better than before and I could take in his chiseled features that were staring at me expectantly and with concern._

_"I know my name, Adam," I grumbled, reaching up to rub the back of my head._

_"'Adam' would be _my _name, beautiful," he joked, lightly massaging my shoulder in a comforting gesture. "Now, your name is..."_

_"Fuck off," I grumbled, reaching out to push his hand off my shoulder. As much as I appreciated his concern, we weren't the closest of friends. Actually, my friends still thought he was Satan in disguise._

_"Well, _Ms. Fuck Off_, let's see if you can answer my next question," Adam joked, bringing his hand back down on my shoulder to stop me from moving. "Where are you?"_

_"Obviously, in some really boring part of Hell because I am here with you," I muttered, trying my best to rise up off the ground. Adam was much to strong and kept me seated on the floor._

_"Quite a spitfire tonight, huh?" he mused with a laugh. "You should get a concussion more often."_

_"I don't have a concussion," I stated heatedly, trying my best to glare in his direction. It wasn't the easiest as I could still see two of him. "Just a little dizzy."_

_"Which could mean _a concussion_, ergo the reason for my questions," he replied, putting his knees down on the floor so he could get a better look at my eyes. "Now, try to focus on my finger."_

_"I've got a finger for you right here," I said, raising my left hand in a one-finger salute to the man in front of me. _

_He just laughed and slowly waved a finger in front of my irises. I tried my best not to give in, but found myself subconsciously following the digit as it passed my eyes. By the time he was done, my vision had gone from double to only slightly blurry._

_"You taste pennies?" he asked, dropping his arm back to his side._

_"No," I mumbled, looking away from his beaming green eyes. _

_As annoyed as I was, I couldn't help but feel a little grateful for the Canadian. For how much time was spent in my circle of friends bashing him, Adam really seemed like he had matured greatly from the time of the whole Amy fiasco. Before then, we were friends, not as close as the Hardys and he were, but we were close. When he and Amy got together, all of the bonds were broken between us. I stood by Matt, but silently grieved for all that we lost. It wasn't just Adam, Amy, and Matt who were affected. Everyone who considered the three of them close friends was forced to choose sides, dividing and destroying relationships that seemed to have no hope of being rebuilt._

_"At least you are giving me actual answers now," Adam replied humorously. "We've made some progress."_

_"I'm fine Adam, really I am," I said, once more trying to stand. _

_Adam sighed and rose to his feet. He reached down and grasped both of my arms, pulling me to my feet. I balanced myself, noticing that things were still a little blurrier than I would have liked them to be. Yet I wasn't about to tell the man in front of me that. When I thought that I could stand on my own with toppling back to the ground, I pulled my arms free from his light hold._

_"Thanks for the help," I murmured under my breath, as I slowly reached down to grab the handle of my suitcase to set it upright. _

_He nodded his head and stepped back a few paces, reaching down to pick up my phone. He held it out to me and I took it wordlessly, unsure if there was anymore that I had to say to the blond. I finally picked up my handbag from where it had fallen and started to cautiously walk the rest of the hallway._

_"You heading to Rochester?"_

_Adam's question hung between us as he came up along my side. I spared him a quick glance before looking forward once more, turning the corner and almost running into two suitcases. He sheepishly glanced at me before grasping them and wheeling them out of my way._

_"No, Buffalo," I answered, figuring that I owed the man that much. "I have a match on Raw tomorrow night."_

_"Oh, right: the Santa's Little Helper match," he replied with a grin. I looked away from the blond and back to the phone in my hand, once again to try and call Melina and see where we were meeting up. "I saw the costumes on the rack in the seamstress's area. Got to love the Holiday season."_

_"Whatever you say," I mumbled under my breath. "So yeah, I am hitching a ride with John and Melina. She should be around here somewhere..."_

_"I thought I saw them leave already," Adam said quizzically, causing me to stop dead in my tracks. "I saw them arguing when I was going over my match with Vince. Must've been two hours..."_

_"Fucking great!" I scoffed, angrily whacking the top of my suitcase with my phone."Now, I'm stuck."_

_"You could always ride with me?" Adam said questioningly. I looked over at him like he had grown another head, but it only spurred him to continue. "I've been driving with Matt and Brian the past few weeks. Working on our team, you know?"_

_"Yeah, congrats on the match," I muttered uncaringly as I scrolled through my contacts to see if there was anyone I could call._

_"But they went on ahead since I had to see the trainer about my shoulder after the match... so I would be riding solo," he continued, not halted by my lack of interest._

_"You are going to Rochester, not Buffalo," I replied flatly, still not lifting my gaze from my phone's screen._

_"It's along the way," he said cheekily, yet also slightly hesitant. "Besides, it will save me some driving. We could split the ride. So, actually, you'd be doing me a favor."_

_I let my eyes rise to meet his own. He shrugged, nervously tapping his fingers on the handle of his suitcase. Even though it wasn't the most appealing option, it seemed to be my only one... or the only one that was staring me right in the face. I let my phone drop into my handbag and sighed._

_"Alright, let's go," I muttered, turning from him to start walking once more._

_We rolled our bags in silence through the winding corridors of the Mellon Arena and made our way outside into the cold Pittsburgh air. An almost four hour car ride with Adam Copeland was not how I envisioned my night ending, but it was better than being stranded. I pulled my coat tighter around my form to shield me from the cold as we quickened our pace to his rental. Adam popped the trunk and lifted all three of our bags into the cavity. He slammed it shut before walking to the passenger side and opening the door. I rose my brow quizzically as he held the door open._

_"Thanks," I murmured inquisitively, carefully getting in the car. _

_Once he was sure that I was inside, Adam slammed the door shut hustling around to the driver's side. He opened the door, sat down, and slammed the door so quickly that barely any of the winter air was able to enter. Still, I was quite thankful when he started the engine and the heater sprung to life. He backed the car out of the spot and soon the Mellon Arena was just a shadow in the rearview mirror._

_Besides the loud rock music that was permeating from the speakers, there was not a sound to be heard. Adam and I seemed to not know how to converse with each other. Granted, it had been years since we had said more than a few words to each other at a time. We were colleagues now, not friends. Yet it seemed like things were changing... maybe._

_About an hour into our ride, my cell phone started to vibrate in my handbag on my lap. I figured it was probably just Melina calling, making sure that I found a ride out of Pittsburgh. Nevertheless, I blindly grabbed for the vibrating device in my bag. When I pulled it out, I was shocked to find that it was actually my best friend whom was on the receiving end. _

_I had just seen him earlier in the night at the pay-per-view, but he ducked out quickly after his match. Even so, I doubted that he could have made it to Buffalo already, but he needed to be since I knew that he was scheduled for the broadcast as well. _Maybe he raced there and found a hotel and was calling to let me know I had a place to crash?_ I reached out and silenced the Avenged Sevenfold song that was blaring from the radio before accepting the call._

_"Hi Jeff," I said, looking over at my blond driver. He shot me a nod, before turning his eyes back to the dark Pennsylvania road._

_"Hey darlin'."_

_I sighed as I heard the slurring Southern drawl that came from the other end. _So much for him being in Buffalo._ I just hoped that it wasn't as bad as it sounded._

_"What's the matter?" I asked, but only received an unintelligible ramble as a response._

_I groaned, sinking back into the leather of the car seat. He continued to ramble and slur through a few minutes of speech. I couldn't understand much... a few names, a lot of sound effects, but nothing that resembled a clear thinking individual. It was obvious that my best friend was under the influence of something. I prayed that it was just a few somas - still absolutely horrible for a recovered addict but better than some of the harder stuff that both of us had done once upon a time._

_"Jeff," I interrupted, trying my best to stop his rambling. After a few moments, he quieted down and I hoped that I had his attention. I spared a glance at Adam next to me and saw that while his eyes may have been on the road, his ears were definitely perked to my conversation. I leaned further into the door and lowered my voice for my next query. "What did you take?"_

_"I didn't take nothing," Jeff slurred in response. I wanted to blurt out that while his grammar was never the best, even he didn't speak in double negatives unless he was truly impaired. Instead, I opted for a more comforting tone and line of discourse._

_"You aren't speaking clearly," I whispered into the phone, not wanting to give too much away to the man only a few inches from me. "You're slurring and you sound horrible. Now please, tell me what you took?"_

_My query went unanswered. All I heard was heavy breathing through the speaker. I shook my head, trying my best to keep my glassy eyes calm. Yet I had thought that we were past this horrible part of both of our lives. Obviously, I was being too optimistic._

_"Did you take too much?" I asked quietly, even though I was unsure of exactly what he had consumed. "Are you alone?"_

_Once again, there was little response. I sighed and pressed my head against the cold window. I looked at the sparse headlights that were coming in my direction, trying to keep my emotions in check. The last thing I wanted to do was fall apart, and in front of Adam Copeland no less. After a few more moments of silence, I opened my mouth to speak yet the words never came out as I was halted by the angry words of my best friend._

_"Where the fuck do you get off judgin' me? You started all of this, you fuckin' bitch!"_

_"Jeff, please..." I whispered into the phone, as I felt the first tear leak from the corner of my eye._

_"You gave me this... I mean, you _made _me this," he continued, heatedly slurring through his venomous words of hate. "Your fault. All this is your fault."_

_I brought my free hand up to my eyes and tried to wipe away all traces of the wetness that had formed, including the tracks of the few tears that had managed to fall. Hearing Jeff's inflammatory words just made me have to relive my past demons. And in a way, he was right. My own weakness had pulled him into that intoxicating world. Yet I thought that we both had escaped. Things may not have been perfect in my life at the moment, but I was at least clean and sober. Jeff, on the other hand, seemed to have relapsed._

_"Jeff, I'm so..."_

_"Anyway, what'cha doin'?"_

_My mouth gaped open in surprise. His voice was still slurred and raspy, but there was no malice in his tone. It seemed as if he didn't remember anything he had just said. I tried to swallow my own distress and continued on like nothing had happened; trying to act as if his inflammatory comments did not wound my still bruised and fragile soul._

_"Um... just driving to Buffalo," I replied as upbeat as I could. "Have to be at Raw tomorrow you know."_

_"Oh well, have fun darlin'," he responded, seemingly distant and distracted all of a sudden. "Talk soon. Bye."_

_And just like that, he was gone. Silence was all I heard. No heavy breathing. No scathing remarks. Just silence._

_I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at the screen. The pixels of my wallpaper did little to ease my sorrow. It was a picture of Jeff and I, smiling cheesily at the screen. It was taken a few months ago, when he began his true singles push toward the WWE Championship. It seemed like the company was finally seeing him as a true contender. And just tonight, he had beat Triple H to become the Number One Contender for Randy Orton's title. Yet after this apparent relapse, it seemed like things were about to crumble for the rainbow haired man once more._

_The screen faded to black as the backlight cut off and I felt more tears form and begin to fall. A sob emerged from my throat and I realized that there was no way I would be able to hide my sorrow from my companion. It was no use. I hardly ever cried. I had liked to keep my emotions to myself. But they couldn't stay bottled up forever and when they did eventually come out, it was impossible for me to contain it. Especially when it came to Jeff._

_No matter how far both of us had come, I still blamed myself for his downfall and troubles. I wanted to help pull him out of it and thought that I had succeeded. Yet now, it seemed that I had failed once more. Just because the Wellness Policy drug testers had visited the brand a week ago did not mean they wouldn't be back. If he was caught, this push he was being given would definitely end and it would be unlikely that he would get another chance. Many of the higher-ups still saw him as a screw up: this would just add more evidence to their claim._

_The tears refused to cease as I tried my best to control my sobbing. I reached out to turn the radio on once more to cover up the sound of my own emotions. The radio came back to life with an annoying commercial for some fast food chain. I didn't care as I let my face fall into my hands, trying my best to conceal all of the evidence of my emotional outburst. Even over the loud talking, I could hear Adam mumble something. I didn't respond, just kept my head in my hands trying my best to let all of my sadness wash down my cheeks with my tears._

_A few moments later, I felt the car stop and simultaneously all of the noise die allowing my sobs to come through loud and clear. The sound seemed to echo throughout the small space and just magnify my grief. I felt a slight pull on my arm. I resisted at first, keeping my face hidden in my hands. Yet the pull was too great and I found myself soon wrapped in the arms of Adam Copeland._

_It was a slightly awkward embrace as the center panel of the car kept us separated. I guess it could be a metaphor for our current relationship as well... _close but not close enough_. There would always have to be some distance between us. Yet at this moment, none of that seemed to matter. I let my arms wrap around his form and buried my face in the cotton tee on his chest. He brought his lips to my ear and began to calmly whisper words of comfort. It did little to quell my sobs, but he continued on._

_After a few moments, I pulled away. I pushed back and returned to sitting comfortably in my own seat. I reached up to wipe away all of the wetness my fingers could find. I knew that I probably looked a mess, but I needed to try and compose myself. I already had a moment of weakness in front of Adam. I didn't want to make him think I was a true emotional wreck. I spared him a quick look and nodded._

_"Thanks - I'm fine now," I said before turning to look out the window. _

_The desolate wooded area was of little comfort to my still racing mind, but at least I wasn't embarrassing myself in front of Adam any longer. A few moments passed and nothing changed. The car did not start up. Adam did not speak. Silence was my only comfort. Until, I felt him reach over and take my hand in his. I looked down at his larger hand encasing my own and had to fight another tear that was about to fall._

_"You know you can talk to me," Adam said, breaking the deafening hush. I glanced up through glassy eyes and found his concerned moonlit irises. "I won't say anything to anyone. I know how Jeff can get."_

_"Thanks," I murmured in response, squeezing his hand gently to let him know that I appreciated the offer. Yet I didn't think that I could physically or emotionally deal with a conversation with anyone at the moment. I was best to be left in my own mind._

_He smiled slightly before squeezing my hand in return. After a moment more, he detangled his fingers from mine and brought it to the key in the ignition. The car came to life once more and the loud strains of Guns N' Roses assailed my ears. Yet neither of us made any move to adjust the volume. We went back to being lost in our own thoughts, the music keeping us from feeling as awkward as we probably should have felt._

_The next three hours went by quicker than they should have seemed. We did not switch off driving. I didn't want to speak up and Adam must've figured that I needed the time to myself. I didn't fall asleep for the whole trip, even though the lines on the road were quite hypnotizing. I just tried to work through my emotions in my own mind. Nothing really made sense and I hoped that a good night sleep would solve some of my problems. I also hoped that when I called Jeff in the morning he would be alert, recovered, and able to wrestle. I would take even two of those things. I just wanted Jeff to be like his non-drug using self._

_Adam pulled up to a Hampton Inn when we reached Buffalo. I thought that he might just let me off and continue to Rochester, but he surprised me by parking the car and getting out with me. He procured my bag from the trunk and we entered the lobby of the hotel in silence but together. I gave him a quizzical look when he reserved a room for the night as well. Even though it was four in the morning, we both still needed a place to crash to try and get a few hours of sleep._

_We both got our room key cards and headed to the elevator. I reached for my floor number as he reached for his. Our fingers briefly touched and I awkwardly pulled away, stumbling to avoid any more contact. I heard him chuckle slightly, but I refused to meet his gaze._

_Instead, I stared at my own reflection in the mirrored wall of the elevator compartment. My makeup was a mess. My eyes were still red and slightly puffy. Well, at least I knew that my outside mirrored what I was feeling on the inside._

_The elevator dinged and came to a halt. I looked at the number and realized that it must've been Adam's stop. He spared me a wave as he rolled his two bags out of the compartment as soon as the doors opened. I watched his retreating form, biting my bottom lip as I thought about what my mind was telling me to do. Sure, he had been a great comfort to me in the car, but this was Adam Copeland I was talking about. _Could I really... should I?

_"Hey Adam!" I exclaimed as the doors began to close. _

_I reached out and stuck my hand in the way of the doors which slowly opened once more. He turned around and shot me a confused look. I sighed, closing my eyes to truly think about what I was doing... what the consequences might be. Yet at the moment, I didn't care about what the future might have held._

_"Maybe... maybe we can get together sometime," I said sheepishly with a small smile. "You know, talk and catch up."_

_"Um, yeah," he replied with a slightly surprised look. Soon, his lips perked into a full grin and the butterflies that for some reason had been swirling in my stomach quieted down. "I'd like that."_

_I nodded, looking down at my feet awkwardly as I stepped back to let the doors close. I looked up just in time to see him give me a slightly shy yet adorable wave before the door shut. I smiled before my mind caught up with me._

_Did I just think that Adam Copeland was 'adorable'?_

..**.**

"What do you want, Amy?"

I pulled my arm free from her grasp and stared directly into her partially hair covered eyes. Her famous dyed red hair were no more as she had opted for a huge change to try and put her wrestling persona behind her. Her now black locks might have obscured some of her eyes, but I could still see the anger that was radiating through them. I really wasn't in the mood for anything that she had to say to me.

"I got a phone call from Matt and he said that I should stop on by for a visit," Amy said with a sickeningly annoying grin on her bright red lips. "That I might hear some surprising news."

I scoffed at her and turned to walk away and back down the hallway. I really didn't want to have a confrontation with her, especially so close to the catering area. Too many prying eyes and big, busybody ears. I only got a few paces away from her when I heard her high heeled boots clicking behind me.

"He didn't tell me the news himself; said it would make a bigger impact if I saw it firsthand," she continued, but I refused to turn around and give her any of my time. "Imagine my surprise when I got here and had to hear all about you and Adam. Isn't it funny how the shoe is now on the other foot? Or in our situation, the same one."

"The same foot?" I said with a roll of my eyes and wave of my hand, still trying my best to not let Amy bother me. We were friends once and I really didn't want to cause any more ill feelings between us than were already there. "There is a huge difference between you and me."

"Oh really?" she said with a scathing chuckle. "That's not how I see it."

"I don't give a fuck how you see it," I mumbled, still trying my best to keep calm. "Adam and I were single when we got together. We didn't hide our relationship because we were being unfaithful."

"Minor details," she muttered, causing me to stop mid-stride. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, there was a huge difference and I intended to make her see it. I turned around and glared at her with my own enraged eyes.

"We hid our relationship so we wouldn't have to deal with all of this bullshit," I vented through gritted teeth. We were only a few paces from both of the locker rooms and I didn't want to draw attention to this altercation. I just wanted to make my point. "So, don't even try to pretend that we're in the same league of wrongdoing."

"Honey, whether you want to admit it or not, we are the same," she replied with a bitter chuckle, the mocking grin still not leaving her lips. "Regardless of the minor details, we both hid our relationships from the people we love."

I just shook my head and turned away from her. I realized that this whole altercation was just a fit of jealousy. Sure, Matt was the one who lured her in. But once she found out the reason for his call, instead of acting like a mature adult, she pulled the high school lovestruck girl card. The green eyed monster had struck and I didn't want to deal with it.

"So, has anyone said anything behind your back yet?" Amy questioned with a scornful laugh. "Excluding Matt and the rest of the Core cause I am sure they have talked up a Everleigh-bashing storm. Have they..."

I didn't let her finish. I had tried to be the better more mature woman, but she had pushed me way too far. I spun around and stepped within an inch of her face, making her stumble slightly backward in surprise.

"Shut the fuck up," I vented, trying my best to keep most of my anger in check. Words were fine, actual physical altercation might force a suspension or even worse. I knew that unlike before, my voice was quite boisterous and that it was going to call attention to us, but I was beyond caring. "I've had enough of your, and come to think of it, everybody else's shit!"

"Well, too bad because..."

"No, you had your time to talk. Now is my time," I raged, cutting off her pathetic attempt to respond. "You and me... we aren't even close to being the same. I didn't fuck my boyfriend's best friend and keep it a secret for months. I didn't spend days acting all lovey-dovey with my boyfriend and then secretly text your lover who you were secretly longing for the entire time."

"Yeah, but your _loving, caring boyfriend_ did," she quickly retaliated.

I took a deep breath as I knew it was true. Adam was just as much to blame for the infidelity as Amy, but I had forgiven him long ago for his actions. He was in love with a woman and didn't care who he hurt in the process of making her his. Yet all of the bullshit they had to go through caused both Adam and Amy to change and realize that they were no longer in love with each other. Adam had moved on, but it seemed like Amy had yet to. That was truly my sole objection to her anger.

Because she had no reason for it.

"I hid my relationship with Adam, but that was _my _mistake," I continued, ignoring her comment. "Adam didn't want to hide and I should have listened to him. So, that is the only comparison you can make. We were a secret. But we didn't hurt anyone... well, not the way you two did before."

She shook her head and was about to respond, but I wouldn't let her get the last word. I reached up and placed a finger over her lips. It was then that I could feel some peering eyes and the presence of others all around us. I briefly looked to my side and saw that some of the crew and a few of the talent were staring. Yet I didn't care any longer about secrecy. I just wanted this put behind me.

"People around here may talk shit about me and Adam and not understand what has happened, but they haven't forgotten the past," I asserted, not letting my finger slip from her lips. I needed to say exactly what was on my mind without any interruptions from her. "They remember everything that happened between you two as well. All the pain and hurt... and it is probably the main reason - actually, scratch that - it _is_ the reason some people can't accept us."

I stopped when I heard more mumbles and shuffling around us. Amy took that time to hit my hand away from her face, her eyes blazing and trying the best to intimidate me. But I knew that I had gotten to her... that all I said was slightly cracking the foundation of her bravado. Most of the smugness was gone from her expression and it was replaced with unbridled fury, especially when her eyes left my own to look beyond.

"Why are you even here?" I vented, her eyes finding my own once more. "To see if I was being treated like you were when the shit hit the fan? Or maybe it is more than that. I think that it's probably because you're jealous of the fact that Adam and I can be in a relationship without the whispering and betrayal."

"You're fucking delusional," she countered, even though I could see in her eyes that I was right. She was crumbling and I was not about to let her foster the courage to gain the upper hand.

"No, you're jealous of the fact that Adam can openly love me without having to worry about some fucked up feeling of resentment," I vented, not realizing until it was too late the words that had spilled from my lips.

Our eyes widened and I had to fight to keep control. Talking about our relationship was all well and good, but I had actually just admitted out loud that Adam was _in love_ with me. Even though people now knew of our relationship, they didn't realize how deep it truly was. I was known backstage as a noncommittal emotional damaged bitch and Adam's reputation wasn't that much better. It had improved greatly from 2005 and he was much more respected than he ever deemed possible after the things he had done (probably because more than half of the roster had committed similar offenses... just some had never been caught). Now, everything was seemingly out in the open... except how I truly felt about the blond myself.

"You..." Amy started, but she drifted off when her eyes shifted and focused on something behind me.

I went to turn and look, but was stalled when I felt an arm wrap around my waist, tugging my back flush against a hard chest. I looked down and a small smile found its way to my lips: "Rise Above" was emblazoned on the arm holding me in place. One deep breath and his cologne wafted through my senses and I felt more secure than I had in weeks.

"I've had enough of this shit," I said defiantly, returning my gaze to the livid hazel orbs of the raven haired ex-Diva in front of me. Even though I wasn't exactly sure about Adam's feelings of this little anger-fueled display, I felt even stronger having him at least physically by my side. "I'm done with this, Amy. So go find Matt and tell him that his little scheme to get between me and Adam failed."

Amy just shook her head, raising her eyes from mine to the man who held me in his arms. I didn't look at him, just let my head rest against his chest, listening to his soothing heartbeat. I was unsure of what I would find in his irises so felt it best to just stare at my antagonist for the time being. Amy and Adam were still close friends, and I really didn't want to come between their friendship, no matter what my feelings for her might have been.

Amy and I weren't friends any more. Once upon a time, I thought of her more like a sister than a friend. Now, we hardly ever spoke. So, after all that had occurred, I thought she would have realized the error of her ways and left. She shocked me when she opened her mouth to speak, her eyes pleading with the man behind me. Yet she never got a word out.

"Go home, Amy," Adam said, his voice even and unfeeling. "I don't know what you thought you were going to accomplish by coming here, but you failed."

"Adam, please don't tell me that after all we have been through..." Amy pleaded, but she drifted off. I wasn't exactly sure why, but I figured it must have had something to do with Adam behind me.

"You're still a great friend, but until you can accept that I have moved on, I think it is best if you just stay away," he responded, the tenor of his voice still not giving away any clue to his true temperament.

Amy just shook her head. If I wanted to respond, I couldn't as my hand was quickly grasped and I was led through a crowd of onlookers. I pushed past the grinning World Heavyweight Champion as well as the silently brooding Deadman. I continued to trail slightly behind my boyfriend, his hand still dragging me along. I didn't know what this could mean for our relationship. We had hardly spoken in the past week and the first time we see each other is when I am berating his ex-girlfriend for being jealous.

Adam pulled me into a room marked "Still Photo" and quickly shut the door. I looked around and saw that we were the only ones present in the small area. There was a still camera set up with a white backdrop in its line of view. The room was normally used after and during the pay-per-view to capture still photos of the new champions that were immediately uploaded to the website. Yet hours before the broadcast - as the current situation proved - the area was usually desolate.

Adam pulled me back toward him, his hands resting on the small of my back. He looked down at me with an unreadable expression on his face. After all the time we had spent together, he was sometimes hard to read. It seemed as if he was waiting for me to make the first move. Maybe he wanted me to apologize for what I had said to Amy. I wasn't sure, but knew that I had to do something. I opened my mouth to break the silence, but was halted by his lips descending upon mine.

With my lips already parted, Adam had an advantage as his tongue darted into the wet heat of my mouth. I moaned low in my throat as I was pulled flush to his chest, my arms reaching up to wrap around his neck. Even his grizzly man beard did not bother me at the moment, as I got fully caught up in everything that was Adam Copeland. _So much for him being angry with me..._

When the need for air became too great, Adam pulled back slightly, leaning down to press his forehead against mine. His eyes no longer seemed blank, but filled with contentment and love. Instincts were telling me to look away; to not fall into the deep green irises that were threatening to consume me. Yet I couldn't.

"I love you."

The murmured words shocked me in their tenderness. Unlike the first time he had uttered those words, I was definitely more prepared and open to the prospect. A few weeks ago, I froze and didn't know how to compute them. Now, I wasn't exactly sure how I was feeling, but knew that I had never felt so much for one person romantically in my life.

"I love you too."

Adam's eyes widened at my admission. Shock, surprise, and gratification all flashed through his irises. I nodded my head up at him, unsure if I could really trust my voice to repeat the words. His lips perked into a small grin before they sought out my own. His hands trailed up my shirt, kneading the bare flesh they found. I moaned into his mouth, entangling my fingers in his unkempt blond locks. Blindly, he pushed me back, almost knocking over the camera in the process. My back quickly was pushed against the cinderblock wall, the surface cool against my heated form.

My rational side was telling me that this was not the best course of action considering we were at an arena full of our colleagues. Hell, it was the night of Adam's return and the last thing he needed was to be caught with his pants down..._ literally_. But my emotional side was through caring about anything that stood in our way. I wanted to be with Adam, and would show him anyway I could just how much it rang true.

Our lips parted briefly as we both fumbled with each other's cotton tees. They were quickly thrown nearby, our lips back to bruising each other's under the force of our kissing. I fumbled blindly with Adam's belt, but did not want to stop our dueling tongues to divest him of the article easily. A few moments later, it was unfastened and his jeans quickly pulled down. Adam reached down and pulled my leggings down to my knees.

We both shimmied the rest of the way out of our clothes. Boxer briefs and undergarments quickly joining the ever growing pile on the floor. Soon, it was flesh against flesh. He pulled back and hoisted me up, pushing my back taut against the cold wall. He gave me a look, as if asking my permission, but I was too far gone already. I figured that the lust in my eyes was enough of an answer.

Adam quickly thrust into me, my head falling down to rest on his shoulder, as I was unable to truly control my body at the moment. Everything just felt so right. It had been only been a few weeks and my body felt like it was wasting away by not being able to be with him. Thus, our coupling was fast yet loving. We yearned for each other and were getting lost in the feeling of just being able to be together.

It made me believe that maybe things were going to be okay.


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry it has taken so long I couldn't put what I wanted into words but I got through that. Im back at school so I'll be writing as much as I can. I also have half of All Grown Up done. So that will be next and I have my ideas for the next chapter of this too. **

**Thanks to all who reviewed and thanks to RatedRForRandomness for betaing this for me.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

Sunday December 14, 2008  
4:45 PM - HSBC Arena (Buffalo, NY)

I couldn't believe that it was time for another pay-per-view show. It had only been three short weeks since the last time the company was getting ready to put on such an event. _And what an event it was_... Adam had made his triumphant return at Survivor Series and captured the WWE Championship. Even with that and the return of John Cena, the actual broadcast wasn't the happening that made the backstage start buzzing. It was the little shouting fest that Amy and I had that really had everyone talking.

I had gotten past it as soon as I left the arena that night. But because of it, I had tried my best to keep a low profile backstage. At the live events, I didn't talk to many people - just did my job and got out of there. Besides, I had a lot more on my mind other than my in-ring work at the moment. My mind was becoming more and more focused on my blond haired beau and the feelings that were continuing to bubble up inside of me.

It seemed that my _'little' _argument with Amy had really solidified my relationship with Adam. He was still close friends with her, but understood where I was coming from in the dispute. Yet I was still surprised when he essentially took my side. And when I actually admitted that I was in love with him... the light in his eyes shone brighter than I had ever seen before. It made me feel better about myself and all that had happened before, and also made me look forward to what the future might hold.

I did mean it with all of my heart, but I was still trying my best to come to grips with what love _really_ meant. The kind of relationship that Adam seemed to want from me was one that I had never had before. The feelings weren't totally foreign, but the commitment, loyalty, and trust certainly was. I was still scared that I wasn't ready for it, and that I was going to end up breaking two people in the process. That was the main reason that I had avoided such relationships for the past few years.

"Hardy, watch your fucking landing!"

I slightly grimaced at my boyfriend's harsh tone as I looked toward the ring, happily breaking myself from my own pessimistic mental tangent. Sitting in the front row, I had a perfect view of the practice for the WWE Championship match that was going to take place at Armageddon. Not everything was being run-through of course, but the ending was being full dissected so that it would come out perfectly. It was going to be Jeff's first major title win after all...

I figured that _that_ was the true reason behind Adam's frustrated tone. He wasn't one to always need the title on him, but he didn't like when it was passed about between wrestlers at every pay-per-view event. He saw it as diminishing the value of the belt and I had to agree. But conversely, I also felt that Jeff deserved a chance at the top, even if we weren't on the best terms at the moment (and if it was going to come at the expense of Adam).

None of the Carolina Crew was on speaking terms with me at the moment. I had given up really reaching out and trying to get their acceptance. I was through with that bullshit, especially now that the relationship Adam and I shared was common knowledge. And as the days turned into weeks, I had grown more and more embittered with my close friends. It was my choice to whom I wanted to give my heart to, no matter what bad history they may have shared.

I knew that Matt would have been stubborn, but for Jeff to hold out for so long without any contact was almost indefensible. After all we had been through, I thought that he could see that I was trying to have a healthy relationship; that I was trying to have a _healthy life_. He had Beth to keep him grounded and on the straight and narrow. For the longest time, I only had myself... and that sometimes did me more harm than good.

Adam changed that.

Even though my friends had yet to accept my relationship, it was two others who were seemingly making it their mission to bring us down. Above all, there was Amy. Ever since Survivor Series, she constantly was calling both Adam and I. At first, Adam actually answered, trying to reason with his former lover that this was what he wanted and he was truly happy. Yet when he finally realized that she would never accept it (like I had done without picking up a single call), he ignored her as well. It was quite easy to do since she wasn't with the company anymore.

Yet Mark was a totally different story.

He kept leaving messages on my phone. For awhile, I tried my best to hide them from Adam. I would delete the gruff, stern warnings as soon as they entered my inbox. Yet soon, the constancy of them became too much and I confided in him about it. Adam knew of my previous relationship with the Deadman, but didn't know exactly what it entailed. So, when I was quite frank that it was just sexual in nature - no real loving emotions involved - he was quick to come to my aid.

Adam and Mark had a respectful relationship. Hell, Adam's favorite singles match was his Wrestlemania title match against him in Orlando. Yet as soon as he saw that I was slightly hurt by Mark's constant pestering, love trumped respect. Backstage at a Supershow event, Mark had tried his best to corner me - trying to get me to talk since I was just ignoring his messages. Yet before any words could fall from his lips, Adam was right next to me. The only communication that we was shared was a glare in both of our directions before Mark stalked back down the hallway.

Tonight, I was thankful that Mark was not on the card. I hoped that that also meant that he wouldn't be in attendance. Yet since his precious Michelle was going to be in action, I wasn't quite confident that that was true. What sucked even more was that I actually had to be on the same team as her tonight. Yet what sucked _the most_... it was a _Santa's Little Helper Match_. No matter how much Adam liked the bright red booty shorts and tight crop top with white fur lining (with a Santa hat to match), I was not looking forward to having to actually wrestle in it. But I had to admit that it was definitely better than Michelle's ridiculous '_sexy_' wooden solider outfit. I would have to fight the urge not to knock the ridiculous hat off her head myself.

I closed my eyes, trying my best to rid myself of thoughts of Mark and his annoying girlfriend. I had spent enough time thinking of them and needed to try and get in better spirits, especially considering the match tonight. I needed to be in a good mental state if I was going to get through that segment with a smile on my face.

"Did that look better?"

I opened my eyes at the sound of Jeff's voice. I thought foolishly that maybe he was speaking in my direction, but his query was actually for the three men in seats on the other side of the ring. His brother, a newly returned Shane, and a visiting Shannon all nodded at the purple haired man leaning on the ropes in the ring. I tried my best not to frown, but kept an even facade. Besides, I should have been grateful that I wasn't getting sent dirty looks from the congregation on the other side of the ring. That seemed to be the norm when it came to those three men at the moment - no words, just deadly looks.

_*Buzz*_

I reached into my bag and pulled out my vibrating phone, happy that I had another distraction from my own thoughts. I smiled at the screen: _"New Message from Jamie"._ I wouldn't have thought that she would have been the first one of my Core group friends to reach out and try to understand what I was going through. I knew the guys much longer and figured that the bonds of our friendships would last through anything. Yet this morning when I was deleting the various messages from Mark that had accumulated over the past few days, I was surprised to find a message from the Knockout.

Jamie and I had become close friends when she began dating Shane. I normally didn't make friends quickly, especially when they were more or less _friends by association_. Yet Jamie was different. We had a common passion in wrestling and I could see that she truly did care about Shane and the whole Carolina gang. It was quite refreshing to have a female around once again, especially since Amy was on the outs with the group. She filled a void that I didn't know was there.

All day, the two of us had been sharing passing texts. It helped my mental state and my belief that things were starting to turn around - that the worst was most likely behind me. It was quite obvious that she had not spoken to Shane about our correspondence as of yet, but I didn't care. Jamie seemed interested in hearing about my current relationship, and I was happy to oblige. If there was one thing I didn't mind discussing at the moment, it was Adam.

_"When can we get together?"_

I read the text with a smile. I was unsure of what her schedule was like the next few weeks, especially with the holidays right around the corner. I knew that the WWE still had a bunch of shows, but TNA was always a little more lenient in their scheduling. I quickly typed a reply with my schedule for the next week, how I was planning on being in Cameron by Wednesday. I was unsure if Adam was going to be making the trip with me, but knew that he wouldn't mind me meeting up with Jamie even if he did decide to come.

"So, that's it, right?"

I looked up as Vince nodded his head at his son-in-law in the ring. The three opponents shook hands quickly before going their separate ways. Triple H stayed in the ring as he discussed a few things with his wife on the apron. Jeff jumped out of the ring and headed to his friends on the other side. Adam rolled out of the ring, patting Chad, the referee for their match, on the arm as he walked by. He winked my way before hurdling over the barricade and pulling me to my feet.

I stifled a laugh as Adam grinned cheekily down at me, wrapping his arms around my lower back. I brought my arms up, and my fingers quickly sought his damp locks. I could care less about his sweaty state at the moment; I was just happy to have him near. I tangled the digits in his hair as he brought his lips to mine. He leaned further into the kiss, trying his best to gain entrance to my mouth, but I was steadfast in keeping it as tame as possible. I didn't want all of my '_low profile_' behavior these past weeks to be in vain.

"What's wrong, beautiful?" Adam mumbled, our lips barely separated from each others. "You can't blame it on the beard because you won that battle."

I laughed at his mention of the long forgotten Grizzly Man beard (even if it had only been shaved off a few days ago), but soon found that that diversion gave him just what he wanted. With my lips slightly parted, he quickly swooped down and covered my lips with his once more. Yet this time, his tongue darted out and into the warm confines of my mouth. I moaned and dug my fingers lightly in his scalp, unprepared for the pleasant assault. So much for _low profile_...

"Um... Ev?"

I stiffened when I heard the voice coming from behind our entwined forms. My lips slid away from Adam's, our arms detangling with each others as we both turned to look at the congregation behind us in surprise. I broke away from the four pairs of eyes and looked up into the stormy green irises of my boyfriend. I reached a hand up, tilting his chin down to me. He flicked his eyes to meet my own and I wordlessly conveyed to him that I was ready for anything that this encounter may hold.

"Ev?"

Matt's voice once again sought my attention, yet I was waiting on my boyfriend's approval. After all Adam had done for me the past few months, he deserved it. I had already chosen Adam over my friends, and it wasn't going to stop now... _especially_ considering their behavior as of late. Adam flicked his eyes back to the four men before giving a slightly nod of the head, reaching down to interlock one of his hands with mine. I turned my attention back to the four men, trying my best to keep my face as blank as possible. I didn't want them to truly know how much they had affected me.

"Look Ev, we..." Matt started, but quickly his voice faltered. He cleared his throat and looked between the other three. Jeff made a motion with his hand for his brother to continue, but didn't look like he was eager to jump in, even though his face seemed to display a hint of shamefulness.

"We just wanted to know if you wanted to come to the Christmas Bash?" Matt asked with only a few hitches in his tone.

I narrowed my eyes slightly at the brunette. He really was asking _me_ if I wanted to attend a party that I helped create? The Hardys' Christmas Bash was a regular event every December that came to be after our first few years in the business. It was the only time of year that the WWE schedule was not as hectic as it normally was. Perfect timing to have a large gathering of friends that we didn't get to see as much as we would have liked. The three of us put together the first Bash and had done it together ever since... _until this year._

I looked between all of the men. Shannon was trying his best to avoid my gaze. Shane shot the biggest smile he could muster (which wasn't much). Matt was awkwardly trying his best to keep his gaze from lifting to the tall blond next to me. And Jeff... Jeff was silently pleading with his eyes for me to relent to his brother's half assed idea of an apology. I knew that that is what this truly was, and I couldn't believe that after all these weeks, this was the best I was going to get. I shook my head with a silent chuckle. _Was that all I was really worth to them?_

"You can come too."

My eyes flicked to Matt's as I saw that they had finally found the man behind me. My brow rose slightly in surprise. Inviting Adam was still not an apology in my book, but it meant that maybe he was willing to try and put the past behind them. I knew that things would never be truly welcoming between the two former friends, but I was shocked that there was a proverbial olive branch being bestowed... and it was by _Matt._

Adam lightly squeezed my hand, wordlessly letting me know that he was leaving it up to me. This was my battle to fight, not his. I took a deep breath and looked deep into Matt's eyes. He seemed sincere, but I was still uncertain. I knew that his wounds - no matter how unjust - ran quite deep.

"We'll have to see if we can make it," I replied as impassively as I could.

If this was _their idea_ of an apology, that was _my idea_ of accepting (even though I wasn't sure if I truly had). I wasn't about to just throw my arms around them and accept all that they had done and said. I was treated as a pariah just because of my choice in partner. It would take a lot more to get me to begin to move on.

All four men just nodded in reply and quickly made themselves scarce, heading back up the ramp toward the backstage area. I let out the breath that I hadn't known I had been holding and fell back against Adam's side. He detangled his fingers from mine, using his now free arm to pull me to him. I buried my face in his chest, letting out some of the emotions that I normally wouldn't dare show.

..**.**

_Saturday April 19, 2008 _

_9:48 AM - Tampa, FL: Adam's house_

"'Cause I have done it before and I can do it some more,

I got my eye on the score.

I'm gonna cut to the core.

It's too late, it's too soon, or is it,

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick boom!"

_I groaned when I heard the loud Hives song ring out through the air. I knew even in my sleepy haze that it was my default ringtone at the moment. I buried my head deeper in the oversized pillow that it was lying on, trying to drown out the noise. It felt way too early to be getting up. Blearily, I opened my eyes and immediately found red LED numbers staring back at me._

_9:48... So much for it being early._

_I closed my eyes as the music died down. I snuggled back into the California King and tried to work through the previous night's activities. Dinner, concert, awkward drive home, hot passionate sex... one thing stood out from the list. I inwardly groaned as I thought about the repercussions that the last action on my mental list could have. What was I thinking last night to actually..._

"'Cause I have done it before and I can do it some more..."

_I murmured a curse under my breath as I lifted my head and spotted my leather pants lying a few feet away. I rolled into a position to grab the piece of clothing that contained the offending device. I braced my hand on the edge of the bed and reached for the pants. _

_As I stretched, I noticed for the first time that there was a weight around my torso. I bit my lip as I viewed the arm wrapped around my middle. Flashes of last night ran through my mind causing my face to flush. Yet the loud music brought me back to reality and I once again continued my reaching. With a little wiggle, I was able to grab the leather and pull the phone from its confines. _

"_Hello?" I whispered, trying my best not to rouse my companion, even though I was unsure how anyone could sleep through such a racket._

"_Hey, hun - just wanted to make sure you were up."_

_I groaned at the cheerful voice on the other end of the line. Jamie - I loved her, but sometimes her timing sucked. And to be honest, if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be in this position at the moment. She had an appearance to attend and couldn't make the concert that originally we were supposed to go to together. Thus, I invited the man lying next to me, but never expected the outcome that had occurred._

"_I'm awake, and don't worry," I stressed, knowing from habit that she was ready to interrupt. "I'll stay awake. I promise."_

_"Ok, ok. I know! I nag," she replied with a chuckle. "Give Mel my best and I'll talk to you later."_

"_Oh, yeah... sure," I mumbled, remembering that I had told everyone that I would be going with the brunette Diva. There was no way that I was going to reveal the real attendee. "Talk to you later. Bye." _

_I ended the call quickly, not really all that comfortable deceiving any of my friends. But I didn't regret asking Adam... and to tell the truth, I didn't even regret the activities we shared after the concert. To say that I never thought of him in that light would've been a lie. I always found him extremely attractive and before the schism in our relationship, we partook in constant yet harmless flirtation. Last night definitely seemed like a long time coming. _

_I reached over and placed my phone on the end table before laying back on the mattress. I rolled to my side and snuggled into the pillow. Yet as soon as I got comfortable, the warm arm around my waist slid to my hip. My eyes fluttered closed as I just wanted to feel the sensation. The hand lightly squeezed the bare flesh and I stifled a moan. The gentle teasing continued, but I knew that I needed to end it. Nothing good could come from anything more than already happened._

_I slowly turned over onto my back and ran my hands over my face. I couldn't just blow him off, but I needed to be strong. I couldn't give in like I did last night. I turned my head slightly and caught the amused green irises of my bedfellow. He was propped on his elbow, a heartwarming smile on his lips. I returned the gesture, but when he leaned toward me, I backed away. I shimmied out from under the sheet and got out of the bed. I grabbed his discarded shirt from the night before off the carpet and slipped it on. I took a deep breath, steadying myself, before turning back to look at the blond._

"_Do you mind if I take a shower?"_

_My query hung in the air, as his smile dipped slightly. It seemed as if he was expecting more from me. But honestly, what could I do? I needed to break away, even if I truly didn't want to. It would be the best for everyone if I did. He slowly shook his head and gestured to the open bathroom door. I just nodded in response, shot him a small smile, and quickly padded across the carpet to the room._

_I walked over to the huge walk-in shower and turned the handle to scalding hot. I backed out and let the spray just run as I walked over to the sink. I braced my hands on the counter top and stared into my reflection in the mirror. My mind was racing with thoughts of what I had truly done. Sleeping with Adam Copeland, no matter how amazing it might have been, should not have been on my mind. No matter if I was slightly tipsy, or the mood just seemed right, it should have never happened._

_"Then what's to stop us pretty baby, but what is and what should never be," I sang under my breath. The words had been reverberating through the room last night, and even though I might have sung along, I never paid them any heed. Yet now in the clarity of daylight, I could see that they rang true. I groaned, shaking my head, as all it did was bring more memories from last night into the forefront of my mind._

_I turned away from the mirror and stripped the cotton garment over my head. I dropped it to the tiled floor as I walked the few paces back to the shower and entered the steamy alcove. I quickly grabbed for his bottle of shampoo, popping open the top and inhaling the aroma. Another thing to remind me of him... I squirted out a glob of the goo and quickly ran it through my hair. By the end of my hair and body washing, I felt like I was totally encased in an aura of Adam. And it scared me how much I seemingly liked it._

_I stood under the hot spray as flashes of the night kept popping in my head. The feel of him, the smell of him, the taste... it was almost too much for me to break away from. I hadn't had such a reaction to someone in the longest time. He did something to me that I couldn't explain. It wasn't just the sex... which was amazing. It was the whole night. The dinner that he had planned and his demeanor during the concert all played a role. It had been a long time since anyone had made me feel that way._

_I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't hear the shower door open. It was only when two hands settled on my hips that I realized I was no longer alone. I jumped when his flesh met mine. The warm hands slightly kneaded my flesh and I broke away, turning around to face him. I looked into his eyes, but couldn't read them. His expression lent no help. Yet as I stood and pondered his demeanor, Adam quickly swooped forward and pressed his lips to mine. He reached up and placed a hand on the back of head, effectively keeping me from pulling away._

_At first, I was too shocked to do anything. Yet after the initial surprise, I responded by wrapping my arms around his neck. I pulled him closer to me and parted my lips, allowing him to take the initiative to deepen the kiss, which quickly he abided by. He let his hand fall from the back of my head and both arms settled once again below, pushing me up against his muscular form. His tongue teased my own just as his body was doing elsewhere. Yet just when my body began to respond in kind, he pulled back. He shot me a smirk as he settled himself under the spray and grabbed for the bottle of shampoo._

_I watched him while I tried to control my own breathing. He had got me worked up so quickly. I could hardly believe it. The more I watched, the more I was becoming entranced. His soapy fingers running through his golden mane was enough to make me weak. I knew that I needed to leave before things became worse than they already were._

_I left the shower and wrapped a nearby towel around my form. I quickly walked through his room to the hallway to get to the guestroom where my bag was located. As soon as I entered, I quickly got dressed and towel dried my hair. I didn't have time to truly get all made up. Besides, I was just getting on a plane back to North Carolina. As soon as I looked decent enough to be in public, I gathered my things and headed for the main living quarters of the home. Yet as soon as I arrived, I remembered about my clothes that were strewn about Adam's bedroom... as well as my cell phone._

_I groaned and set my bag down on a nearby sofa. I couldn't just leave the items behind. I walked back down the hallway toward his room. Yet before I could arrive, I noticed the blond leaning against the entry way. He had a Cheshire-like grin on his face. I rose my brow quizzically as I took a few strides closer._

_"Looking for these?" he mused, outstretching his arm which contained my missing garments and mobile device. _

_"Yeah, thanks," I muttered, keeping my gaze downcast as I grabbed for the clothes. _

_As soon I got a hold of the clothing, he used the grasp to pull me toward him. I tried my best to resist, but just ended up falling into his chest. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head, but I was able to yank my clothes free. I pushed away and headed back down the hallway once more._

"_What are you doing?" he asked as I continued my retreat._

"_I have to leave soon," I said curtly, continuing my trek back to where my bag lied. "I have a flight to catch. The guys are having a party for Gil tonight."_

_I hastily stuffed the garments in the open bag and zipped it closed. I took a deep breath and grabbed the bag off the sofa. I turned around, but came face to chest with Adam. I looked up at him with a pensive expression, which only deepened when he reached out to grab my bag and set it on the ground, letting my phone fall from his grasp on top._

"_Can we talk?" he breathed out nervously, the words running together in the exhale of breath. I gave him a curious look, even though I was well aware of what he was speaking of. "About last night?"_

_I tried to look away, but he reached out a hand, turning my face back to his. His expression seemed anxious and worried, but his actions were strong and forceful. I didn't know exactly what I was going to do._

_"It wasn't just a 'one night' type of thing for me," he mused as a small smile formed on his lips. "At least, I don't want it to be."_

_"Adam, we...," I started, staring up at him in slight shock. No matter how forward he may have been, I would have never expected that to come from his lips. Not with everything that was swirling around our personal lives. I knew that I needed to be firm. "We can't be anything more than last night."_

_"I figured you were going to say that," he said with a sigh, his expression falling slightly. His hand never left my cheek and was slowly tracing circles on the skin with the pad of his thumb. "But last night meant something... to me."_

_My eyes fell shut as his words washed over me. And all I kept thinking was that I had to fight all of the urges that my body was feeling. I had to resist the thinking that maybe we could work._

_" I've had feelings for you for awhile, but I didn't know how to approach you about it," Adam continued, as I kept my eyes closed. "Yesterday gave me an opportunity to see what being with you would be like. That's why I made the dinner reservations and that's why I seemed a little... on edge I guess you can say."_

_He chuckled at the use of the word "edge", causing a smile to form on my lips. I opened my eyes and felt myself falling into the green irises that I encountered. I felt my resistance crumbling every second I stared at him._

_"I don't want this to end," he continued seriously. I shook my head and tried to look away again, but his hand was still firmly in place. My eyes looked to the side to avoid his, but he just maneuvered his head back into my eye sight. "Can you honestly tell me that you don't have strong feelings for me? More than friendship?"_

_I used his vulnerability against him and pulled away. I walked a few paces away and kept my back to him. I couldn't bear to look in his eyes at the moment._

_"Adam…do you know how complicated this would be?" I posed evenly with a shake of my head. "We couldn't…"_

_I was cut off when I was spun back around. I looked up and found an impassioned expression on Adam's face. He grasped both of my forearms lightly and stared down at me._

_"Just tell me how you feel," he implored, his forehead coming down to rest on mine. "If you would want to try something? Try and be together?"_

_His eyes pleaded with me to answer. Yet I didn't want to just give him an answer without giving it any thought. I looked down at my feet and processed what he was asking. My best friends were his worst enemies. It might have seemed overly dramatic, but that was truly how it was. Matt was still not over something that happened over three years ago. He still harbored a grudge that caused a seismic split between multiple friendships. Lines were drawn that still were not meant to be crossed._

_"I don't…" I started, but stopped when my eyes rose to find his once more. I swallowed hard, trying to give myself strength to continue."I don't think it's a good idea. It would never work. We both know that." _

_He let his hands fall back to his sides, but shook his head in dissent. I watched his lips part to speak, and quickly decided to cut him off. My shell was cracked and my heart was starting to break through._

_"But I admit that I have feelings for you," I conceded, his lips turning to a smile at my admission. His eyes brightened and I knew that all hope of turning back was lost. "I have for awhile. So if…"_

_I broke off as he took a hold of my waist, pulling me to him with a grin on lips. I swallowed as he used his grasp to push me into him, in the same teasing manner he had earlier in the shower._

_"'So if' what?" he posed, wanting the words to come from my lips._

_"So if we do this, we would not be able to tell anyone," I continued after a few moments of contemplation. He didn't seem to mind my prerequisite, and leaned down to place light kisses along the column of my throat. His action continued even more amorously when he noticed that I wasn't pulling away. "I mean _no one,_ Adam. Not at first anyway."_

_He pulled back from his light suckling with a bright toothy grin. He seemed so certain that this was what he wanted. I couldn't say the same, but was willing to test the waters. If no one knew, no one could get hurt. At least that is what my heart was trying to tell my mind. _

_"Okay, beautiful," he replied, pressing a light kiss to my lips before continuing. "I'll be your Romeo and you can be my Juliet."_

_He chuckled and brought his lips more passionately down upon my own. I moaned and parted my lips allowing his tongue to dominate. I submitted, almost just as easily as I caved to his will. And when we finally pulled away, I muttered to him just about how accurate I thought his literary analogy could be... especially their tragic ending._

_"Romeo and Juliet, huh? That's what I'm afraid of."_

..**.**

"The Game connects with a perfectly executed high knee."

JR's booming voice caused my eyes to lift toward the television screen, just in time to see my boyfriend be sent sprawling to the mat. I groaned low in my throat, but let my eyes drift back down to my phone in my hand. Thankfully, the pay-per-view was almost over. I had already stripped out of my horrid Santa outfit, and was just waiting for Adam to finish up. The Divas' locker room was vacated, many of the girls leaving as soon as the horrible match and segment was over.

Not only did the in-ring action end with a horrid Great Khali Kiss Cam segment, the match was pretty much just a set-up for a Michelle McCool heel turn. She got to shine, while the rest of us were made to look the fool. I honestly wasn't surprised when I read the script earlier in the day that Michelle was going to be the focus of the match. She was the Divas' Champion after all. But the fact that the other seven participants of the match were pretty much just set pieces for her to use did not sit well with me.

Yet I knew that I had to swallow all my bitter feelings and just let it go. Besides, Adam wasn't going to be having the best night either in the ring. Just thinking about the blond made a small smile form on my lips. I couldn't believe how far our relationship had progressed in a few months. _From barely even friends to Romeo and Juliet to... whatever this was._ I still was unsure what my heart would truly allow me to feel, but _'whatever this was'_ could definitely grow on me.

"Jeff Hardy had been out of sight, out of mind momentarily."

I subconsciously continued listening to the match while browsing for some last minute Christmas gifts on my iPhone. If I was going to actually attend the Christmas Bash, I wouldn't want to go empty handed. Besides, it seemed like I needed to find something for Jamie in the very least.

"Edge, looking to spear Hardy, got The Game instead!"

I rose my gaze to the screen once more, but was greeted with the sight of Adam being clotheslined over the top rope by Jeff. I grimaced, but had little time to concentrate on the action as a loud knock boomed throughout the small room. I sighed and dropped my phone into my bag before rising from the bench. I shuffled over to the metal door just as another round of loud knocks rang out.

"What's the fucking prob..."

My voice died in my throat as I swung the door open and came face to face with the Deadman. My eyes widened in surprise, but quickly instinct took over and I slammed the door shut. I leaned against the cold metal, trying my best to keep him from entering. I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep him out for long, but maybe I could stall long enough for Adam to return.

My eyes sought the screen as I put more pressure on the metal behind me. I watched as Adam tried to slam Jeff onto the announce table, and realized that I was on my own. I groaned as the door slightly gave way, but I refused to move.

"I've been calling you."

Mark's gruff baritone voice rumbled through the slightly closed door. I wasn't really succeeding in my barricading attempt, but for the moment, he seemed to be happy to play a little game of cat and mouse. If it would help stall the inevitable altercation, I was quite alright with it.

"And I've been ignoring you," I replied blithely.

My tone did not sit well with the man as he quickly put more pressure on the door, pushing his hand through and causing me to stumble to the floor. I groaned as I heard the metal door swing fully open and hit the wall with great impact. _Guess he wasn't up for games..._

"You think you're cute, don't cha?" he growled, as I regained my footing.

I kept my back to him, not wanting to give him any advantage in this encounter. I saw on the monitor that all three men were still outside of the ring and groaned. I wasn't in the mood to deal with Mark at the moment, especially without Adam nearby.

"I don't have a clue what you are speaking of," I said evenly, keeping my attention solely focused on the screen and not the perturbed Texan behind me. Yet that plan quickly was altered when my arm was grasped in a vice-like grip and I was spun around. My eyes quickly found the blazing irises that were bearing down on me and I tried my best to stay composed.

"You're being stupid," Mark seethed, gripping my arm even tighter in his hold, as I tried my best to pull away.

"I'm the stupid one?" I replied with a chuckle. "Obviously, you've got that backwards considering you've got a hold of the wrong Diva. The one you want is thinner, blonder, _skankier_..."

My comments only caused the fire in his eyes to grow as he used his hold on me to push me against the nearby wall as soon as the final word left my lips. I groaned and closed my eyes, realizing that I was only going to get burned if I tried to bait him. It seemed that the best course of action would be to just let him say his piece and then move on. I seemingly couldn't avoid him any longer.

"This thing between the two of you isn't real," Mark grumbled, and I had to fight not to roll my eyes. He really came here just to bitch about my relationship with Adam? "Don't forget that I know you. You aren't capable of having a serious relationship."

Like he knew about having _a serious relationship_. Every one he seemed to have just ended in bitter feelings. His two ex-wives were proof of that. Yet I knew better than to bring up his past history as I had already made him livid with my earlier comments about his current squeeze.

"If you were, we would have had one years ago."

That stung... a lot more than it probably should have. What Mark and I had was just physical. He was coming off of his second divorce and I just needed to feel. I needed something - _anything _- to try and get through the day. It was at a time in my life when I didn't really think I had anything to offer anyone; a time when I needed something to hold onto.

"You're too fucked up to have a real relationship," Mark continued, his voice low but menacing. I shook my head and opened my mouth to retort, but he quickly persisted. "Look at you and Tim - you couldn't go through with that. He probably would have been great for you, but you went and fucked that up too."

My eyes grew wide at the mention of my ex-fiancé. Before Adam, Tim was the only person I ever had a somewhat normal relationship with. I never really spoke of my relationship intimately with anyone... not even Jeff. Sure, most people knew the basic details of when we got together, when we got engaged, and that it ended pretty suddenly. Yet the details of the romantic entangling were mine and mine alone. For Mark to even think of bringing up a relationship he knew nothing about was a hit below the belt.

I used my free arm to slightly push the mammoth of a man away from my form. He stumbled slightly giving me the chance to raise my arm and attempt to slap the taste out of his mouth. My hand was a few inches from connecting when he pushed me back the few inches to the wall and grabbed my free and swinging arm.

"Enough!" he raged as I was pressed more firmly into the wall behind me.

Both wrists were now in his large, harsh grasp and pressed to the cold concrete. From his tone, I knew that it would be useless to struggle. All I could do was wait for someone to find us. No matter how much Mark might have wanted to vent his frustrations, he still had an image and reputation to protect.

"Copeland will never be good enough for you," he seethed through gritted teeth, his jaw locked in a scowl. My eyes darkened, but I let him continue with no vocal dissent. "Whether you believe it or not, he is not good for you. He's matured: we've all seen it, but that doesn't change his behavior when dealing with personal affairs."

"You know nothing of..."

"You two will never be able to be together because no one will ever accept you," Mark vented, cutting off my whisper of a reply.

I glowered up at him, as he hit a sore spot in my heart. With Jamie's reconnection and the Carolina gang trying to make amends, his statement caused doubts to creep back in my mind. Maybe I was fooling myself into thinking that things were looking up. Maybe Mark was actually right.

The relationship was in hiding so long that it was hard to really judge if it could survive in real life situations. Could Matt and Adam really ever coexist in my life at the same time? Could I really take having a public relationship with one of the company's top Superstars? When it was all in hiding, I didn't have to worry about prying eyes and ears. Yet now, I didn't know if I was truly up for the long haul.

"Your friends. Your co-workers. _No one_."

I felt my eyes become heavy and it was harder to see through the tears that began to form. Through my hazy vision, I saw the fire in Mark's eyes dim slightly. He seemed concerned, sympathetic almost, but I knew that it was all most likely an act. If he truly cared about my feelings, he would not be doing this to begin with.

"I can see that you know what I'm saying is true," he said softly, his hold on my wrists loosening slightly. I made no move to pull away, but tried my best to keep myself in control of my emotions. "The two of you will never be able to love each other. Your pasts have screwed up any chance you ever had."

I shook my head and looked away. I found solace in the linoleum floor. I watched as the first tear made its way from my flesh through the air and downward to the floor. All of my doubts and emotions from the past few weeks were catching up with me. My slight emotional breakdown earlier in Adam's arms was nothing compared to what I was beginning to feel. It was like I could sense all I had worked for was crumbling around me.

"I'm not saying this to hurt you, you know that," he continued in the same softer tone, yet I was only vaguely listening to him. I was too busy lost in my own conflicting thoughts. "I want you to be happy, but I know you won't be happy with him. I'm just trying to be honest with you and make you see this."

I let all of what was happening process in my mind. Yet through all of the conflicting emotions, one thing outshone all: I was in love with Adam Copeland. I might not yet have understood what love truly meant, but the emotion was still there. Every time I saw him or heard his voice, I felt better about myself. I felt happy, something that I truly hadn't in the longest time.

I may not have been sure of much, but I was sure of my feelings for him. That feeling brushed all of the doubts and lingering conflicted feelings away, at least for the moment. I kept my head down, but took a deep breath as I gained my nerve and inner strength. My anger was bubbling up inside of me and I had to try my best to keep in under control. Yet when my eyes rose and locked with those of the Deadman, I lost it.

"Let. Me. Go," I scathed through gritted teeth, trying to keep my voice as low as possible.

Instead of heeding my request, Mark gripped my wrists more tensely. His eyes clouded over and his lips parted. It seemed as if he was angered that I had not listened to a thing he said. Yet before he could continue his diatribe, I intervened.

"You are a fucking liar, Mark," I ranted, my tone raising in both volume and pitch. "You are not trying to be honest with me. You're fucking jealous."

He turned and looked away, his head moving in a dismissive shake. A small grin formed on his lips, but I would not let him get any more satisfaction from this encounter. The last time we truly talked, he had accused me of being jealous of his relationship with Michelle. Now, I was seeing that maybe it was the other way around.

"You're pissed at the fact that I can have something with Adam that I never had nor wanted with you," I scathed, as he returned his stormy gaze back to my angered form.

I was about to continue, but heard a few voices from behind Mark. I tried my best to peer around, but was unsuccessful. I hoped that maybe Adam had come back from his match. I couldn't see the monitor any longer, but didn't hear anything coming from the speakers. I watched as Mark looked briefly over his shoulder before turning his attention back to me without a second thought. It couldn't have been anyone of note and thus I decided to persist.

"This whole _'he's not good for you'_ bullshit is just your way of venting your jealousy," I mused, trying futilely to wriggle out of his hold. "Our relationship, if that is what you can even call it, was nothing like what Adam and I have. I never wanted to be with you in any way more than what we had."

The storm clouds in his eyes gave way to fire once more, but I was not ready to relent. His constant pestering had to stop and this cornered verbal assault was the last straw. If he wanted to dish it out, he would have to take it as well. I heard a clamor coming from the open doorway, but decided to continue. I wanted all of his bullshit to stop once and for all.

"You can't stand the fact that someone has me in a way that you never had," I said, a small grin settling on my lips. If Mark was going to lecture me on the faults of my relationship with Adam, I was going to do the same but on the actual faults of what we once had. It really was nothing but a distant memory to me. "That someone has something you knew never was and never would be yours."

Mark audibly growled in the back of his throat. I had never spoken to him in a such a way before. Actually, I had never seen anyone speak in such a manner to him. But I couldn't take his 'need to control' behavior. I wasn't his girlfriend and actually at the moment felt sorry for what Michelle might have to endure.

He leaned down so his eyes were only an inch from my own. The shadows on his face made him all the more menacing. His hold wound even tighter around my wrists and I flinched. He got the first syllable of my name from his lips before he was ripped away from me. He didn't let go of his hold on my wrists right away and I was dragged with him. When he finally did let go, I was sent sprawling across the floor, my knees taking the brunt of the fall.

I cursed under my breath as I brought one hand up to lightly examine the other's bruised flesh. I looked at the red skin that was already beginning to turn a light shade of purple. Even though it would hurt, nothing affected me more than Mark's words. I could pretend to be strong and steadfast, but I knew that he had planted seeds of doubt in my already fragile psyche. I just hoped that I was strong enough to overcome it.

From behind my kneeling form, I heard shuffling but no voices. I looked over my shoulder and my eyes grew wide. Adam was face to face with Mark, both men looking as if their respective characters were getting ready to spar in the ring. Adam was soaked in a sheen of sweat from having just competed in the title match; his black wrestling tights stuck to his legs like a second skin. His hair hung in his face, but I could still make out the burning anger in his eyes.

"If you ever put your hands on her again..." Adam whispered threateningly, but was quickly cut off by a condescending Deadman.

"I'd like to see you try," Mark replied, his slight Texan drawl more humorous in tone than it should have been.

"I've never had a problem with you, Mark," Adam said, the tenor of his voice changing slightly. I never wanted to put him in such a position. I didn't want my history to affect his relationships with our co-workers, especially someone with the reverence that Mark had. If Adam suffered because of my mistakes, I would never forgive myself."I've always respected you. But I'm telling you that I will give you a problem if you ever touch her again."

Still kneeling, I turned around to face the two men. They were still locked in a staring battle, the intensity seemingly threatening to swallow them whole. Neither would budge... until Mark's lip lifted into a smirk. He nodded his head at Adam before turning to find my gaze. I was still cradling one of my injured wrists and wasn't in the mood for anymore of his venom.

"This isn't over," Mark muttered, trying his best to keep his statement between the three of us and not the small congregation of onlookers in the doorway.

I shook my head, but my view of him was quickly blocked. I looked up into the serious expression on my boyfriend's face as he reached down and gingerly pulled me to my feet. His expression had not softened, but he lightly took my wrists in his hands rubbing his thumbs lightly over the marks that were forming. I looked into his eyes and through the anger that was ever present, there was concern.

"This is over," I said firmly, looking up into Adam's eyes. It was more a declaration for myself, but I saw in my periphery that Mark had stopped his movement. Instead of paying him any heed, I continued to stare directly into Adam's eyes, even if my next few statements were directed in part to the other man in the room. "I love you, Adam and I'm going to be with you, regardless of what anyone else thinks. The past is the past and should be left alone. _You_ are my future."

Silence stretched across the small room. Adam's gaze had softened considerably. He let go of one of my wrists and brought his hand to my face, cupping a cheek in his rough palm. I smiled, rubbing my cheek against his touch. I heard Mark mumble something before the metal door of the room was slammed shut. I jumped, my eyes falling shut in shock. At least Adam and I had some privacy.

"Are you alright?"

I opened my eyes and smiled once more. Adam's expression was tender and concerned and it warmed my bruised heart. I leaned up on my toes and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.

"I'm fine," I murmured with a nod. "Actually, I should be apologizing to you. I know that you don't like to have things upset around here. I'm sorry that you had to deal with my past."

He shook his head dismissively and parted his lips to speak, but I continued.

"I don't want you to have any problems because of me."

My confession caused a chuckle to emanate from his throat. His lips turned into a grin as he pulled me close to his sweaty form. I closed my eyes and leaned into the hold, bringing my arms up to wind around his neck. I breathed in his scent and sighed. Everything felt right when I was in his arms and I tried to get my mind to forget about everything that had just happened.

"What was it you told me once, beautiful?" Adam mused, his words slightly muffled by my shoulder. I pulled back so I could look in his eyes, that were beaming down at me. "We're worth it. Nothing can change that and Mark is just a small problem. He isn't even worth getting upset about."

"You're right," I said with a smile as he leaned down so our lips were almost touching. "We're definitely worth it."

"I love you," he whispered, before pressing his lips against mine. I moaned and pulled him tighter against me as all thoughts besides those of Adam Copeland left my mind.


	12. Chapter 12

Thursday December 18, 2008  
10:28 AM - Cameron, North Carolina: My House

"_Last Christmas, I gave you my heart,  
But the very next day, you gave it away.  
This year, to save me from tears,  
I'll give it to someone special."_

I giggled slightly as I continued my off key singing while the warm water continued to fall. After the events of the past few weeks, I was happy that things seemed to be calming down, if only a little. Christmas was only a week away, and even though I was never a big partaker in the Holiday Spirit, this year something was different. I wasn't exactly sure, but it might have something to do with the blond Canadian blissfully sleeping in my bed.

After _Armageddon_ and the full gamut of emotions that that event brought about, I was looking forward to a few relaxing days off. Well, _after tonight_... Only a few hours before the big Hardy Christmas Bash, and after debating on whether or not to attend, I decided in favor of it. Things would never get back to some semblance of normalcy if I didn't try and make things work. Nothing was ever going to be perfect, but they sure could be a lot better than they were. Maybe tonight was the turning point.

I turned off the taps and stepped out of the shower, that annoying earworm of a Christmas song still spilling from my lips. I wrapped a towel around my form before grasping for another to dry my hair. Yet as my fingers grazed the cranberry terrycloth, the loud clang of my doorbell reverberated off the tiled walls. I sighed, letting my hand fall away from the other towel before hastily exiting the room. I shot the sleeping Adam a quick glance, a small smile instantly forming on my lips, before leaving my bedroom and hustling down the stairs.

I made sure the towel was securely fastened as I made the final strides to the entranceway. The loud ringing of the bell sounded once more. I groaned at the visitor's impatience, pulling the door open with a snarky remark on the tip of my tongue. Yet before the first syllable could be uttered, it died in my throat as my eyes took in Jamie's huge grin and beaming disposition. I guess the Holiday Spirit was affecting everyone at the moment.

"Hey!" Jamie exclaimed brightly, as her eyes finally took in the state of my attire. She laughed and shook her head. "Why is it I always seem to surprise you when you're naked?"

"I don't know," I replied with a small grin of my own. "Timing just doesn't seem to be your strong suit.

I stepped back and allowed her to come in from the December Carolina chill wondering as to the nature of the Knockout's visit. It was as she passed that I noticed the bright lime gift bag clutched in her hand. I couldn't believe that I had forgotten about our present giving ritual. Every year since our friendship had started, we exchanged gifts prior to the Bash. At first, it was just because of conflicting schedules that would not allow for it closer to the holidays. But now, it was just _tradition_... even if it was only a few years old.

"You know where everything is," I said, with a dismissive wave of my hand. Jamie nodded her head as I angled over to the staircase. "I'm going to get dressed."

"Is Adam here?"

The query halted my retreat upstairs. I glanced over my shoulder with a curious yet not fully perturbed expression on my face. I was unsure of her intention, but she quickly raised her hands in defense.

"I didn't mean it to come out that way," she replied with a sheepish laugh. "I was just wondering if I should expect you back down any time soon, or if he will _detain_ you."

I scoffed slightly, but a grin reformed on my lips. I shook my head and turned back to continue my trek up the steps.

"He is sleeping," I replied evenly, even though I heard her make some sort of smart retort about how that wouldn't stop him.

I sighed and walked back into my room, sparing the aforementioned man another glance. Still sleeping... but I figured it was only normal considering how late we were up last night. I let the towel fall to the carpet as I pulled on a loose pair of sweatpants and tank top. I left my boyfriend to his slumber as I returned downstairs, grabbing Jamie's gift from a nearby table before entering the kitchen.

"I see this kitchen got a lot of action last night, huh?" Jamie asked, as she handed me a glass of orange juice.

I nodded my head in thanks, accepting the glass and bringing it to my lips. I took a long pull of the juice, as my eyes scanned over the expanse of the room. It was cluttered with aluminum pans filled to the brim of holiday cookies, freshly baked pastries, and other snack food for tonight's jamboree.

"I decided to go to the party after Raw on Monday," I said with a shrug. I couldn't fully process Matt's invitation on Sunday and then, everything with Mark happened. I still had the evidence of that encounter adorning my wrists in an ugly shade of purple. Thankfully, Jamie had either not noticed or smartly chose to ignore it. "As soon as I texted Matt that I was going to show, he responded with a plea to help cook. He said it wouldn't be the Bash without my home cooking and started listing off his favorites from previous years."

"Well, I'm sure it will make him happy," Jamie replied.

"Not so sure, since I purposely avoided making them," I grinned, finishing off my juice to the sound of Jamie's laughter.

It seemed to be infectious as I joined in with a chuckle of my own. It felt good to do this again... just spend time with my best female friend. I kicked out a seat at the cluttered table and gestured for her to sit. I quickly followed suit and we fell into a comfortable silence.

"So, I've been looking forward to this for awhile," Jamie said softly, as she gestured between the two of us. "I've wanted us to talk about everything, especially Adam."

Hearing his name fall from her lips sounded so foreign. There wasn't much bitterness there, but there was something. The way she said his name... I was unsure if she truly was as okay with my relationship as she seemed. I rose my brow and made to speak, but she hastily cut me off.

"Please... I just... I want to get this out of the way before we do," she said, her eyes pleading with me to stay silent.

I shook my head, giving her approval to continue. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes as if she needed to gather her thoughts. When her eyelids fell open once more, I saw a flash of hurt reflected in her irises.

"Why couldn't you come to me and talk about your relationship with him?" she asked, her tone matching her expression. I opened my mouth to respond as best as I could, but she quickly continued. "I was... maybe still am... extremely hurt that you couldn't open up to me. I know all about his past, but I would have never deserted you. I would have backed you and helped you through everything that happened without question."

I gave her a slight disbelieving look, but her expression remained steadfast. I sighed and figured that I needed to come up with some excuse. I didn't really want to admit the truth to her, because that meant I would also have to admit it to myself.

"Jamie, I didn't..."

"No please, let me finish and then you can have all the time in the world to convince me otherwise," she exclaimed. I leaned back in my chair and shrugged, figuring that I owed her that at least.

"I feel like maybe you don't trust me enough," she explained, her tone showing just how open and honest she was being. "I know it's tough for you to make new friends, especially female friends, but we're closer than that. We're like sisters. We've been through a lot together. And I just thought... I thought that we would go through _anything and everything_ together. But I guess you don't feel the same."

"Please, don't think that," I immediately stated with a shake of my head.

I clenched my eyes shut and took a steadying breath, knowing that I would need to be truly open with her if I was going to regain what we once had. It was going to be hard, but I had to try. Jamie's friendship was worth it.

"It's not that I didn't trust you," I started, opening my eyes to show my earnestness. I chose my next words carefully, knowing that I was going to be admitting my own doubts and fears. They might have seemed obvious, but I had never truly vocalized them. Not to Melina, not to Adam... not even to myself. "To be honest, I didn't even think we would make it this far. I thought our first intimate encounter was going to be our last."

That was pretty much common knowledge to all parties involved. But the next thought was one that I kept to myself. It was a truth that always floated through my mind when it went to its darkest depths.

"And it wasn't just the new romantic facet of our relationship that I thought wouldn't last," I admitted, looking down at my bruised hands in my lap. "I didn't think Adam and I could truly even be friends again. I knew that he had matured and moved on, but I didn't think that I had. And... I always just brushed it off as being all because of what Matt and the guys would think. But it was more than that."

I decided that that was enough information for Jamie to be sated. I didn't want to think any more on that time, when I was still unsure about my feelings for Adam. Our romance took me off guard, but it was truly the rekindling of our friendship that took the most work. I had to get passed so much just to see him as a friend, and that was as stable as a house of cards.

Our romantic relationship came and just added another deck to the unsteady structure and even now, I was truly unsure of where our friendship was. We were lovers... but were we even truly friends? We were on the road to friendship, but took a very sharp turn towards something more. The friendship that almost a year ago I wanted to rebuild never truly came about. We never discussed it, but I always wondered... If we weren't fucking each other's brains out on a regular basis, would we have any sort of a relationship? If we could actually have a normal relationship, would we even work?

"I know that nothing I say will excuse what I did or didn't do," I muttered, trying to break away from my own raging insecurities. "But when Adam and I started our relationship, I didn't want you to have to lie to anyone to hide it. I didn't want to put you in an awkward position with Shane and..."

"Ev, I would..."

"I know," I interrupted with a small smile. "I know you would have if I asked you to, but I didn't want to put you in that position. Especially since I wasn't even sure about the relationship myself."

I looked back down at my hands. My thumb lightly traced the purple marking on my wrist. Jamie and I always were confidants, but I was unsure how much to divulge. I was not fully accepted back into the Carolina Core and I was still working through things. To top it off, Adam was upstairs and could make his presence known at any time. I really didn't need him to know that everything might not be as sure on my end as I had try to make it seem. I was content and happy for the moment... but that didn't mean it would last. It hadn't in the past.

"So... it's been, what, around seven months since you started seeing him?" Jamie asked with a grin. "You really serious about it, or just doing it to fuck with Matt a little more?"

The last part of her query was sarcastic, but it didn't get the response she most likely desired. She chuckled, while my expression stayed pensive. I leaned forward and rested my elbows on the table. I saw her eyes flick to the purple markings, but her expression stayed unchanged. Once again, I was thankful.

"Would it be wrong to say that I am still not sure?" I asked sadly. "The first time he told me he loved me, I freaked out. Not on him or anything, but internally. He kept saying it, but I could never say it back. I know it hurt him, but I just... I couldn't get the words out. But when Matt prodded Amy into showing up and trying to tempt Adam or some shit, I was so fucked up because he actually took my side. He chose me over Amy and... I don't know. I just couldn't stop myself. So the next time he said those three words, I reciprocated."

"But did you mean it?" she asked.

"I… I think so?" I replied, with a slight questioning tone. "He makes me _feel_, you know?"

"Feel _loved_ or feel... what?" Jamie asked, but a shrug was her only reply. It was a question that I was still asking myself. When she looked at me expectantly, I decided that I needed to try and explain.

"When I was with Tim, I said 'yes' to the whole engagement because I cared for him. I _thought_ I was in love with him," I recounted, looking down at my left ring finger where the diamond ring once sat. I smiled sadly, but knew in my heart, that my ultimate decision was the right one. "But mostly, the engagement was more about me wanting to prove that I wasn't the fuck-up everyone thought I was. If someone like Tim wanted me to be his other half, I couldn't be as broken as I felt. But as weeks passed, I didn't feel anything anymore. I never really felt that all encompassing emotion toward him, but it got to the point where I just felt empty... like there was nothing there."

"So when the Playboy offer came around, I knew that I had my way out," I said with a bittersweet grin, letting my hands fall away from my view. "Tim didn't want me to do it, and when I told him it wasn't his decision to make, I know he saw what I already knew. We would never work, and I was relieved."

"And what about Mark?" Jamie asked after I had fallen silent. I shot her a glare, but knew that she knew nothing about my recent run-ins with my former lover.

"I was never in love with Mark," I replied bitterly, staring at my wrists once more. "I wanted him, but I didn't want to be with him. But I guess, yeah... like Tim, it was all about feeling. Mark made me feel things, but there was never going to be that threat of commitment... _of love_. It was just passion and lust, and in a way, anger - _anger_ that I could never feel the way I truly wanted to. That I could never find someone who made me feel more than just damaged."

"But you 'feel' something with Adam," Jamie stated, putting air quotes around the word _feel_.

She couldn't understand my emotions fully. No one ever could. They hadn't lived the life I lived. They hadn't walked in my shoes. No one's life was perfect as life itself was inherently imperfect. Yet I could never escape just how _imperfect_ my life had been.

"Yeah," I responded with a slight nod. "With Adam, I see a future. I haven't ever felt that before. But I can close my eyes and actually picture a life for us... but it scares me. This _feeling_ that Adam spurs inside me... I think that I love him, but love isn't always enough. My dreams of us might be just that, unless I can truly change who I am; or Adam is just going to be hurt like Tim was."

"You have to stop letting what happened rule your life," Jamie soothed. She wasn't saying anything that I hadn't told myself thousands of times. "Your father..."

"Please, don't," I stopped her.

Jamie knew about the relationship (or lack thereof) that my father and I had. Yet it was the one thing that was off limits to discuss. I hated being reminded of the man who ruined my chance at a normal life. Just thinking of him and my adolescence was enough for a chill to make its way through my body. He had stolen so much from me and all because of something I had no control over.

"I'm actually trying to make this thing with Adam work," I said softly. "Like _- fuck_, I know this is going to sound corny but - when he smiles, my heart literally feels like it is going to pop from my chest. It just... yeah."

I chuckled to myself as I thought of his pearly white teeth gleaming. But it was more than that. It was when his eyes lit up and everything just fell away. There was only Adam and for a second, I could actually feel _whole_. I felt _normal_. I felt _loved_.

Silence stretched out over the room. I rose from my seat to get more juice. I figured that Jamie still had more she wanted to discuss. We had been incommunicado for months. There was more than just Adam to reconnect on. I grabbed the carton and refilled my glass. I gestured to her, but she just shook her head. I shrugged and turned to return the carton when she broke the silence with another question.

"Was there ever a time that you doubted that your relationship with him could work?"

So much for moving on to another topic.

"About a million times in the beginning and about a thousand times now," I replied with a smirk as I retook my seat.

"So did you ever do anything to test those doubts?"

My sad smile was the only answer she received.

_Wednesday July 2, 2008_

_4:55 PM - Los Angeles, California : Candice's House_

_"Keep the change!"_

_I waved over my shoulder at the departing taxi before turning toward the modest split level house. I sighed and nervously tugged at the hem of my dress as I strolled slowly up the walk toward the front door. I wasn't even sure what I was really doing here. I was sort of already in a relationship - _a secret relationship_, but one nonetheless. So, why was I actually allowing Candice to set me up on a date?_

_Last week at a show in Texas, Candice had succeeded in goading me into meeting a doctor friend of Ken's. She thought we would be a "perfect match", and had even convinced Melina to strong arm me into conceding to go. The main problem was all of this went on in front of Adam. I had tried my best to keep calm and act normal, but it was impossible. I had to maintain the act of being a single woman, which meant having to put up with friends making double (or in this case triple) dates._

_"Fuck, what am I doing?" I muttered as I stumbled up the stoop to her front door. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, before reaching out and pressing the doorbell. "Might as well get this over with."_

_I opened my eyes to sounds of laughter emanating through the still-closed door. I groaned and tried to convince myself that I wasn't doing anything wrong. That all of this was perfectly normal... it wasn't working._

_"Finally!" Candice squealed as she opened the door, pulling me into a haphazard embrace. She air-kissed my cheek so as not to mess up the many layers of glossy lipstick that adorned her lips before pulling me inside. "Everyone else is already here."_

_"Sorry, the flight out of Tulsa was delayed and..." I drifted off with a wave of my hand. _

_Smackdown was taped last night in Oklahoma, and even though I was no longer a part of the blue brand thanks to the Draft, I attended the show. Both Matt and Jeff were in action and it was also a chance to spend some time with Adam. Well, not much time... a few minutes in a darkened hallway before he had to go out to the ring to call off his engagement to Vickie. If his hair was a little more tousled than normal, my hands running through it as he pressed me up against the cinderblock wall was most likely the culprit._

_Because of inclement weather, almost everyone's flights were delayed. I was about to call and cancel this whole affair, but by some stroke of luck (or misfortune), there were still seats on the early morning flight to L.A. But even more surprising, a lot of the Smackdown roster decided to make the trip. Probably just wanted to get out of the bad weather and spend the short holiday down time in the sun. The flight was slightly awkward as I spent much of the time that I was not sleeping talking with John Hennigan about tonight's affair. Yet the whole time, I was aware that a certain blond Canadian was only a few rows away listening to every word._

_"I know about the flight, but John made it here on time," Candice joked with a grin, before pushing me back to inspect my attire. She scanned my form with the precision of a fashion mogul before her lips formed a smile. "Love the dress - basic black but such a sexy cut. And your hair... he is going to be stunned!"_

_"Great," I murmured under my breath, turning my gaze to her nicely polished floor. _

_I didn't plan on putting so much effort into my appearance, but I needed to make it look like I took this "date" seriously. Besides, I needed to try and put Adam to the back of my mind. For the night, he had to not exist. I was just a single woman being introduced to a single man. I just needed to convince my mind of that, but every time I closed my eyes, I saw blond hair, green eyes, and a heartwarming smile._

_"Noah is just dying to meet you."_

_And if I couldn't feel any worse... I sighed and turned my attention back to the injured Diva. I gave a small smile as she grasped my hand and tugged me behind her. I tried my best to act natural as she pulled me into the house's sitting room. _

"_Here she is!" _

_Did she really need to announce me like that? I felt like she was doing her best Lillian Garcia impression and I tried my best to keep my face from turning crimson. I plastered on the best smile I could muster and gave a small wave to the four other occupants of the room. My eyes found the seated form of Melina as her lips turned into a cheeky grin. She looked actually a little surprised that I went through with this, but also quite pleased that she would have some entertainment for the night. I glowered her way, but my attention was quickly pulled to the man standing at my side._

"_And this is Noah!"_

_My eyes made a slow sweep of my date for the evening. And my worst fear had come true... he was stunning. He had to be at least 6'4" with a broad form to match. He wore a white button down shirt, but had the sleeves rolled to his elbows which showed off the amazing ink work that adorned the expanse of his visible skin. His hair was a dark, rich brown that just reached his shoulders, and looked every bit worthy of my fingers running through it. I quashed that feeling as soon as it came, but as soon as he reached out for my hand, I knew it was most likely a losing battle._

"_Everleigh, it's very nice to meet you," Noah said, his voice a soothing tenor that set some of my reservations at ease. "I've heard a lot about you."_

_"It's nice to meet you too," I replied as I accepted the polite handshake. As I went to pull my hand back, he would not relinquish the hold, instead bringing it up to his lips. My mouth went dry, but I managed to mumble out a few more words." I've heard a lot about you... too."_

_He grinned, showing his perfect glistening teeth, making no mention of the fact that I just repeated his own statements almost verbatim. My only contribution to the conversation was "too"... I felt like such a fool. But he seemed to either find it endearing or didn't notice. I hoped it was the later._

_"Care for a drink?" he posed, motioning to the small wet bar at the other end of the room._

_"Sure... whatever you're having is fine," I said with a nervous smile. He just chuckled and turned to go about the task. I let out a long exhale and shook my head. This was going to be harder than I thought._

"_So?"_

_I turned to look at Candice. She had a grin on her face that would put the Cheshire Cat to shame. I rolled my eyes._

"_So, what?" I replied, crossing my arms over my chest. I was trying my best to remain defensive and not open to this. "I've talked to him for all of thirty seconds."_

"_But he's cute right... and your type?" Candice goaded, elbowing me lightly in the side._

_"Well, yes but-" I was quickly interrupted by a quiet shriek from the brunette next to me. She wrapped her arms around my form, a hundred watt smile lighting up her face._

"_I knew you would like each other!" Candice raved, as I looked over her shoulder at the other Diva. Melina just laughed and muttered something under her breath. I gave her a helpless look, but was quickly spun around in Noah's direction. "Here he comes."_

_Candice lightly squeezed my arm before making herself scarce. I plastered a small smile on my lips as Noah handed me a tumbler full of ice and clear liquid. Hopefully it was something strong. I raised my glass to him and downed much of the glass's contents. No burn, yet slightly sweet and refreshing... gin and tonic. Not exactly my drink of choice, but at least I got my wish about it being strong._

"_So, do you feel as awkward as I do?"_

_I choked on the last pull of my drink and had to fight the liquid down my throat. I coughed out a few gasps of air and gave him a wry smile._

"_Am I that obvious?" I asked drolly, nervously clinking the ice in my now empty glass._

_"No, not at all," he replied earnestly, but the glint in his eye told another story. _

_I turned my head to the side and saw Candice barely paying attention to Ken and John's conversation. Her eyes were focused on my own state of affairs. I shot her a pleading look, but she just motioned her head back to the man by my side. I gave a hopefully inaudible sigh, knowing that I needed to try and loosen up or the night would never end. Maybe, more alcohol would be needed. _

"_So, Candice tells me you are a doctor," I said, trying my best to start up an actual conversation._

"_I'm a plastic surgeon," he replied, and I nodded my head._

"_That's a good field, especially considering the locale," I offered, glaring down at my empty glass wishing that some more liquid courage would appear._

"_Yeah, I do alright," he said with a chuckle. He must have noticed my internal battle as he reached out and grasped the glass around my fingers. "Need a refill?"_

_"Huh?" I muttered, too busy looking down at our fingers pressed together against the tumbler. "Um, sure. But I can get it."_

_I ambled over to the bar, trying my best to block out Melina's chuckling from the corner of the room. I placed my empty tumbler on the marble counter and reached for the bottle of Tanqueray. As I was pouring the clear alcohol over the slowing melting ice, I felt a presence at my side. Noah placed his tumbler down as well, and motioned for me to top him off._

_"So I have to say ever since I found out who you were, I looked up some of your matches online," he murmured softly. "I just... wanted to know what I was getting into, you know?"_

_I shot him a questioning look as I reached for the bottle of tonic water. He quickly rose his hands in defense._

_"I didn't mean it like that," he exclaimed. "It's just... this is the third blind date I have been on in a few months."_

_"Oh, that's reassuring," I muttered, under my breath as I finished making both of our drinks._

_"It's hard to find someone that I actually connect with," he explained, reaching to take his drink from the counter. "Someone who actually likes the person and not the profession."_

_"I guess that is understandable... and relatable," I replied with a small smile. _

_It was one of the reasons that so many Superstars dated Divas and vice versa. It was easier to be with someone who understood the lifestyle, understood all that it took to be in the business that we loved. That fact also led to many common bedfellows, not unlike the current situation I found myself in... except my situation was a lot more embittered than most._

_"You're very talented," Noah said, breaking me from my drifting thoughts. I grasped my tumbler in my hand and nodded in reply. I brought the cool glass to my lips, taking a long pull of its alcoholic content. "Do you ever get nervous doing the high stunts?"_

_At least we were talking about something I felt I could discuss without much effort. I tucked my hair behind my ear nervously and smiled._

_"No, not really," I replied with a grin. "Half of the time, I don't even realize I'm doing it. It's like second nature after having done it for so long."_

_"That's how I feel about my work," he said with a smile. "Plus you're putting on a great show for people who just want to kick back, relax, and enjoy a good round of violence."_

_We both started laughing and I felt more relaxed. And as the night wore on, I continued to feel less and less awkward and actually more open to the idea of dating. Everything just felt so normal with Noah. It was weird to actually be able to have a nice meal with friends; to flirt with an attractive guy and not need to be constantly looking over my shoulder for who might see. We kept talking and getting to know each other and before I knew it, it was almost midnight. I couldn't believe the time went by so fast._

_"Shit, I need to head back to the hotel," I muttered, staring at the time on my phone._

_"You need a ride?" Noah asked, as Candice's face beamed at the prospect of her matchmaking actually working for once. _

_"I was just going to call a cab and..."_

_"Nonsense, it's probably on my way," he replied casually._

"_Uh…sure," I said, sparing Melina an insecure look. She just shrugged her shoulders and went back to her hushed conversation with her boyfriend. "That would be great."_

_Quick goodbyes were said, which included Melina making me promise to call her as soon as I got back to my room. She wanted some details on my emotional status, but I was unsure on what I could tell her. Tonight had caused so many doubts to enter my already cloudy mindset._

_The ride back to the hotel was filled with small talk and just enjoying each other's company. As awkward as the night had began, it actually turned out being quite nice. Noah even insisted on walking me inside. The stroll through the lobby was a little more uncomfortable. Everything was beginning to full solidify that I had actually, in essence, been unfaithful to Adam. Sure, Noah and I really hadn't done anything other than what common acquaintances would do... but I still felt unclean._

"_So, I just wanted to tell you that I had a great time tonight getting to know you," Noah said as we reached the elevator's closed doors. I smiled and nodded, quickly reaching over to press the plastic up arrow. I needed some time to myself to think things through. "And I would like to see you again."_

_And there it was. I knew it was coming, but it made everything in my mind go fuzzy. He was so nice, a great guy that deserved so much more than a girl like me. I wanted to say "no"; that tonight was all that would ever happen between us. But a part of me couldn't do that, even though I knew that I should. _

"_That would be really nice," I mumbled with a small smile. He handed me his phone and I quickly typed in my number._

_The ding of the elevator's arrival sounded as I placed his phone back in his grasp. I waved to him shyly before turning to walk into the now open compartment. Just as I was almost passed the open doors, my hand was grasped and I was spun back around._

_"Wha..."_

_Noah grasped my cheeks and stared into my eyes. It seemed as if he was looking for permission... or almost inciting me to protest. Yet I could barely process the situation before his lips were pressed to mine. My eyes widened in shock, but I didn't push him away. The kiss was gentle at first, but soon he took initiative and tried to deepen it against my still closed mouth. It was then that my mind finally caught up with my body and I pressed my hands against his chest and pushed him back._

"_I'm sorry, I..." Noah started, but I just held up my hand to silence him. I tried my best to stay calm, but inside, I felt like my world was spinning. _

"_You don't have to apologize," I said with a shake of my head. It wasn't his fault that I was sort of unavailable at the moment. I didn't do anything in the night to make him think that amorous behavior was unacceptable. "I don't want you to think I was leading you on, but I don't like to take things so fast with people I have just met."_

_I heard a derisive snort of laugher and instantly narrowed my eyes. I turned my head to see that Noah and I were no longer alone. Randy Orton was leading a group of five or so Superstars toward the elevators. The smirk on his face made my blood boil on sight. Yet it cooled off quickly when I noticed the blond trailing in the back of the group. I couldn't believe he had just witnessed me kissing another man. I tried my best to keep things together as I turned back to Noah with a small apologetic smile._

"_That was not my intent," Noah said, replying to my previous remark. "Unfortunately, I do have to work in the morning. Would it be okay if I called you tomorrow?"_

_I agreed with a nod. He reached out and grasped my hand in his, bringing it to his lips, not unlike he had done earlier at our first meeting. I had to fight the urge to seek out the green eyes that I knew were watching. Noah turned away, nodded to the small congregation of men standing nearby, and walked back toward the exit. I groaned and turned back toward the elevator, hitting the arrow button once more as the doors had slid shut. Luckily, the compartment was still on the floor and immediately opened. Yet that was where my luck ran out as the group of Superstars followed me into the small confines of the elevator._

_I was pressed in between the Legend Killer and his former Rated RKO partner. I kept my eyes focused on my own blurry reflection in the now closed elevator doors. Yet when I saw the man next to me open his mouth, most likely to spew some sarcastic comment, I instinctively spoke up._

"_Shut your fucking mouth, Orton!"_

_The injured Superstar looked slightly surprised before closing his mouth as chuckling spurred up from a few of the others in the elevator. I looked down at the horrible pattern on the carpet, blocking out all my surroundings and waited for the unbearable ride to end. _How long did it take to rise ten floors?_ A ding signaled the compartment's arrival and I looked up at the LED number on the wall. "8"._

_The doors opened and all of the men filed out of the elevator... well, all except one._

_"Yo Adam, I thought we were going to hit the bar?"_

_"I need to get my wallet. I'll catch you there."_

_I groaned as the doors slid shut once more. My hand was grasped tightly and I was spun around to face the blazing eyes of my dirty little secret. He didn't say anything at first, but he didn't need to. Everything he wanted to say was written in his eyes. Hurt, fear, anger... all swirling in a pool of violent green. It made my chest ache knowing that I was the cause. _

"_Do I even want to ask what that was all about? And please, save the bullshit excuses cause I have heard or said all of them in the past."_

"_Adam, I-"_

"_No! How could you do that?" he raged, interrupting my quiet plea. I couldn't blame him in the slightest. "With everything that's happening between us, you go out and...?"_

_The elevator dinged once more; the doors sliding open to reveal an empty hallway. I entwined my fingers with Adam's and walked out of the compartment. I looked both ways before quickly making my way to my room at the end of the hallway. I pulled out my keycard from my clutch and swiped it through. I walked in the room and tossed my purse and key on the bed before turning to face my fuming beau._

"_Adam, I… I didn't want to go on this date," I explained, hoping that he remembered the conversation that he had witnessed between Candice and myself from the week before. I saw some understanding in his demeanor, but he winced at my use of the word 'date.' "Candice forced me to, and no, I'm not blaming her at all for what happened."_

_"What exactly did happen?" Adam asked, stepping further into the room so he towered above me. "Because what I saw doesn't exactly paint the picture that you were 'forced' to do anything."_

_"Tonight opened my eyes," I replied truthfully, remembering all of the conflicting emotions that I battled all night long. "I had a nice time, and..."_

_He turned from me while angrily mumbling under his breath. I sighed, but decided to continue on._

_"I know that you don't want to hear that, but who are we kidding, Adam? We can't be together," I exclaimed, causing him to turn his gaze back to me. The anger that set his irises aflame was slightly fanned by alarm and concern. "We were crazy to think that this could work. No one will accept the two of us and... nothing will ever be able to be normal."_

_He just looked at me for a few moments, as if he was slowly digesting all I had said and done. The silence in the room almost suffocated me. I knew that what I said was true, but it hurt nonetheless. And the pain only got worse when I saw the anguish in his eyes._

_"Normal? What exactly has ever been normal about us, Ev?" Adam asked with a bitter chuckle. "Nothing about what we do, who we are, is normal."_

_"Look, maybe normal was the wrong word, but..."_

_"I don't want this to end," Adam said definitively, cutting off any more explanation I could give. He came over and took both of my hands in his and tried to stare into my soul. I tried my best to remain strong, but knew I was fighting a losing battle. "I want to be with you. I've never felt like this about anyone. Maybe it's because I've known you for a long time. I don't know, but I do know that I care so much for you. This is different. These feelings are different than they were with Lisa, Alana…or even Amy."_

_"Adam, I..."_

_I broke off as the first tear made its descent down my cheek. I shut my eyes and thought about how much easier everything was in my head. In my head, Adam just accepted that our relationship was doomed and faded into the distance. Yet in the flesh, he brought a thumb up to my cheek to brush my tear away before crushing my form to his own._

"_I…I don't know what you want me to say Adam," I mumbled into his chest, before looking up at him through glassy eyes. "I'm sorry, but I really don't know what you want me to do. I've been thinking about this for awhile; tonight just put everything into perspective. This relationship isn't fair to either one of us. Us having to hide isn't fair."_

"_Then let's not hide anymore," he replied quickly, some sort of hope glistening in his eyes. I shook my head in disbelief, but he continued on. "Let's just walk into that arena Monday together and everyone can see."_

"_Adam…I can't do that," I said quietly. He might have matured greatly over the past few years, but I was still the same damaged Diva he once called a friend. This relationship, if public, would just cause more cracks to surface. "I can't be what you want me to be. I'm not hardwired to be in any type of serious relationship."_

"_What about these past few months then, huh?" Adam asked with a slight antagonistic tone to his voice. It was as if I was speaking to Edge at the moment. I just shook my head and looked away from his gaze. He took my silence as motivation to continue. He brought his mouth to the shell of my ear, his lips brushing my flesh with every word._

"_Just give us a chance," he soothed, as I closed my eyes to get lost in the sensation. "If you don't want to go public yet, then we won't. It's just... we need each other. We're good for each other and I won't run away from it because you are scared. We balance each other out."_

_The tears had begun to fall anew as I pressed my cheek to his shoulder. Why did this have to be so hard?_

"_What do you say?" he asked quietly, starting to rub soothing circles on my back with his palm. _

_My whole body was relaxed against his. It just felt right... and no matter how much my mind was telling me to think things through, I couldn't. My heart ached for this... and no matter how much I hated myself for being so selfish, I knew that this is what I wanted. No matter if it was only in the dark, I wanted to be with Adam Copeland._

_"Okay," I murmured, lifting my tear-filled eyes to his. "Let's just... take this slow."_

_His smile beamed from up above, but all I saw were his eyes. An electric green that sent a jolt through my whole being, and a contentment from knowing I was what put it there._

_"Whatever you say, beautiful."_


End file.
